Everyone who is thinking about this question MUST read the funniest article on airlines - awful - of the future in New Yorker, July 7&14. There is more truth than funny fiction in it . . and I promise you will love it!!

Miss Smith … there is nothing quite so wonderful as a joint friendship where anything can be said . . . and fully understood by the other. Such a relief from the public life, you two have one where you can let down your hair. We all need to have that “other person” — and few really do as few can really fully trust if we are to be honest. What great times you must have with Miss Bacall - who is another knockout —- just like you!

Peggy, you are so right that life as a whole has changed quite radically, and the warmth and genuineness of people on planes, actually anywhere, has come to a place where it is hard to get eye contact. Are we being so overwhelmed with words on the media that we want to go into our own corner and be silent and have peace? Have we become socially inept after spending so much time staring at a computer — or have we been taught to fear “the stranger”? Remember when it was “an experience”, a delight to BE on a plane - a time when you actually had a whole seat and not a sardine can of people in rows? A time we felt like ladies, were served actual dinners by pleasant attractive stewardesses who made us feel catered to — and we felt wonderful? We weren’t afraid to talk to a smiling person in the next seat then. But perhaps that when we are treated like robots, we become robots with frozen faces who march off the plane in lockstep also. We seldom feel “special”, “ourselves”, and face it, on or off a plane, we have become too busy to sincerely interact. Our minds are overloaded, our bodies often dragging, and we go into ourselves for renewal. As we look at the “then”, and NOW, those of us who have lived long enough know full well that something so important — interchange of great conversation - has almost come a lost art. How sad that is!

Some of the best gifts to ourselves are spur-of-the-moment choices that we say “yes” to or be forever sorry. And so it was that day in Switzerland. The town was Chateau D’Oeux, and I had run onto an opportunity to have a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE over the Alps. Costly — yes. But at that moment I would mortgage the house to fly high over the Swiss mountains. It turned out to be YEARS of gifts to myself to be honest with you, but never never have I found myself silently floating in a wicker basket in azure skies, knowing I was not only above snow-capped mountains BUT I felt and still feel like in those hours I was on the top of the world. Was it worth it as I look back some years later? It was near the top of the highlights of life — and I can bring those moments back in my mind and they never fail to make me smile. Was it good? It was a feeling of heaven while gliding high above the earth. A gift of gifts. . never to be forgotten.

I still feel “young” . . and perhaps that is the secret to the good life. No matter the age, we all have good days and bad days, times we feel pretty lousy and other times we are at the top of the world, no age excluded. BUT you will be wise if you don’t talk about YOU and your ailments or problems. If you are having those days, turn it around and listen to others, try to make others feel a bit better for having been with you and you will not be thought of as “older”. It will take your mind off you; the others will certainly not be rolling their eyes at your age. There is something wonderful about others coming to you asking for advice for every sort of problems from work to personal. You are in your 50s and suddenly you are a guru - if you choose to be. And your reputation expands for “brilliance” and your own personal growth takes a huge leap. Confidence takes the place of unsurety. When this happens - and it is all part of thinking of others instead of yourself - you feel so good about yourself that you often begin to even look younger and definitely more vital than ever before. Done right, that terrible word “age” is not an issue as you are wanted, desired, and not only in your work life. I mean in your real life also. So turn it around - if you haven’t already — and life, for most, will get better and better. “How old you are” to others instead becomes in their minds: I am going to pattern myself on her as she has “got it”. It works for me — but remember, stand tall and for gosh sake, SMILE!!

I believe - as they say - it isn’t the years in your life, but the life in your years. I am living like there is no tomorrow - and actually MAKING every day count. I don’t believe in “retirement” as long as you have an ounce of strength in our body — or if you are in health problems, but using your mind which is easier when work can be done by computer. Each of us has been blessed by attributes that are far beyond most of our friends — and it is taking those and using them. Even if you feel so-so, never “hide out” but go out or contact those who are worse than you feel. Your days will be glorious for you have done something. Hand pick interchangable tops and bottoms if you are wanting, but look good when you go out. We all can do that — and while I work at an older age, and have political office STILL, but the highest stimulus that makes the days good is the contacts I make thru work and volunteering. There is not time to say then “poor me” as you are making others’ lives better. I race thru life as I want to die on my feet, not my back, and I will take that extra step no matter the physical cost. And you find friends just like you - you connect with your like - so you can talk troublesome things out. I refuse to give up, I refuse to feel sorry for myself though I have my share of the bad illnesses early on even, and I surround myself with people who laugh. I WILL make it and I WILL make the most of the minutes. Who knows when they will end.

My family seemed to do everything right — and was I fortunate! — and most of what I learned on handling money was learned by observing them and their successes. One word of warning I have never forgot: never, never loan money to friends. If you can’t afford to give it to them and not expect a payback, just don’t. Friends are severed with much less than this turns out to be. Never owe money. Never manage your own money unless you have an MBA in financial administration and work closely with it! Find the best financial planner you can when you have excess to invest — and in my city we have a magazine that rates them. IF your planner is fairly young - over 40 though and doing better than you - he is a pretty good bet. Put your money in trust for your children as this is a spending society that can blow your life savings some day very foolishly. I don’t know about you but that would kill me as I have worked hard and saved well. Always budget enough to have a yearly getaway — those are the memories that will sustain you through life — and that is the tip from Joan.

Perhaps the one thing that may have slipped between the cracks here — if we are asking what we would not want to live without would be GOOD HEALTH. The alternative most often is not worth visualizing. But - if I am talking from my heart instead - I would say in the biggest letters possible: LOVE. The word itself can be all encompassing, for we have that need for others that care and we care for in our lives. Are there any smiles bigger than between those we love? The vault of our hearts then are open. We can talk, say the most private of things, be given the confidence that we can do anything - making the difference between a mediocre life and a terrific life - and KNOW, even when alone, that we have that connection with those that make “things right” and wonderful. Love is the frosting on the cake of life, isn’t it?

Maurine, you win this one hands done. You definitely are a brilliant thinker this late at night!!

A desert island, surrounded by salt water and no rain? I read a book a day but I think I would hope that I had a cell phone or there were large white stones and I could still spell out H E L P in the biggest letters possible. Otherwise, ladies, you are never going to have time to read those boring long books as you are going to be praying that this island has plantations of coconuts for liquid, heavy foliage that will keep you away from the sun rays, and some hot and heavy dreams that will fuel your last hours. Hey, the last bit doesn’t sound all that bad!!!

Each of us has our own dreams, and too many are founded by envy of others. We THINK that because they are rich, have beautiful clothes, and are on magazine covers that those people have things we would give anything to have. I may be wrong but usually those who “want it all” haven’t as yet gotten the maturity and just plain “years” to realize that each of us has good days and not so good days (OK, “bad” days) no matter what social strata we are in. We think that money can bring happiness, physical beauty will make us attract that allusive LOVE that we all want more than anything. But — look at the magazine covers - and we see that the rich and famous seem to have more disasters than we do. If “all that money can by” is having it all, I am giving it a very large PASS. “Having it all” is the impossible dream. “Having it great” is to have a great love and a family that makes you smile, laughter that comes often enough that it makes up for the sad times we all experience no matter what, and the warmth of the give and take of good friends that are beside you in good times and bad. Frankly, we are the lucky ones, aren’t we — for we are living REAL LIVES that are at times pure heaven.

I am going to take us in an entirely different direction . . . for in a hidden drawer in my bedroom I have always kept, carefully wrapped, my great-grandmother’s christening dress. Elaborately hand-embroidered, white and long, I was told it was worn by each newborn of the family from the 1870s - when a baby was always christened soon after birth. I know I wore it, but - after that - parents seemed to wait longer and the tiny sleeves would have been too small. For some reason, I know my only long-term remembrance of “family” is in that room, my one visible connection to the thought of generations past but - in this tiny garment - not forgotten. And at times like this, when a question brings the past back in my mind, I find that the love of family is by far the greatest love we have . . . and the one that we should treasure most. This is my own treasure and my greatest reminder.

Health clubs are for “other people” . . . you know, the friends that like to brag that they’re “off to the gym” in that so-smug fashion that makes me want to hang the phone up on them. To be honest, been-there-done-that in my “younger years” when there was no need — but it was “the in” thing to do. They get old, don’t they? The driving there, finding the parking space is full which means that there are too many gals already in various states of undress in the locker room (which is most often not a pretty sight! Be honest, you think the same thing!!) The alternative? The early morning walkers close to home. Don’t tell me, I already see my upper arms are a bit flabby as those weights proved “for the birds”. BUT, I have found a group of (start to get envious) just about all men who walk at a really good clip, talk about things that women seldom do, and make me laugh. I find that the laughing constantly is the best part (OK, almost the best part!) — for it is the greatest start of the day and relieves any and all tension and stress that may have been building up. I come home an hour later, smug and on top of the world - and ready for the day as I never have before. It is my secret passion — well, it WAS “secret” until I shared it with you!!!! Highly recommended.

Such a surge of emotions seem to come to the surface, don’t they, when we search our memories for those special moments in time that seem to exemplify our parents - and the impact they had in our lives. Perhaps words were said by my father, but to be honest, don’t we as children learn more by example than the words? He always had time for me, praised me, commended me for small things. I felt surrounded by love - and what better feeling can there be than that? His pride in me made me believe I could reach for the stars and maybe even grab one! He attracted people because he truly seemed to see the best in them. I never remember a harsh word or a negative thought - but I do remember the sound of laughter so often. There were hugs and perhaps a kiss with my mother when my father came home from the office, something so normal in my house that I didn’t realize until I was much older that the two of them had something very special between them. Because I lived in a home immersed in such happy surroundings, I knew nothing else. I did know love, shown in such a number of ways that it seemed I blossomed from it. . . and without thinking or outwardly knowing, as an adult I obviously have followed the pattern of my father - and yes, my mother. And as I look at my children - now grown - I see my father in the way they too look at life - the giving of themselves to others, the caring and love that is showered on me. My father did not live through my teen years — but today, I look toward the heavens and thank him. And if he could hear, I would say “Dad, we are following in your family traditions that have made all our lives infinitely more wonderful for us all. You WERE the best!”

Frankly, as we ourselves are sharp, go-getting women, we have to understand the dilemma Michelle Obama finds herself in. To be up front on this, this is a woman who is smarter than her husband and has her own separate future on the line. She is at an age where she must start moving to the top — and if you think ‘moving to the top’ is moving to the White HOuse, well - spare me. We have seen what have happened to other smart women who are making ceremonial appearances and that is about all. Watch her face at these functions - and notice how few she attends unless she has what is essentially a gun at her head. She has a good head on her shoulders — she is about to crash the glass ceiling in her own profession in Chicago at the right age to do it. She has 2 young children that she has already expressed should NOT be having a White House on display life. It will be a killer for them later on. What White House child - outside of Alice Longworth - have we ever seen again? Frankly, I would like to see her stay in Chicago after the election going back to her job, excelling, raising her children in the city’s best school, and he and she going back and forth for functions when needed or “wanted”. He has had only 10 days at home - and only because she has threatened him on that. What does this do to the children? His job in the White HOuse is going to be one like never before if he has a prayer of being a success — for he will have to prove that he is more than a charismatic speaker and has substance behind his words. In other words, he has to toe a line that has little time for lovey-dovey stuff or substance with the children. That is a fact. Do you know what this sharp wife must be thinking? She can be a long-term success and a good example for her children. Hopefully, long distance, he can also — but it is a quick rise and fall for politicians and the public abuse that will reign on his every wrong move will come down and affect the psyche of the two little kids who will mimic their parents and parrot the words to them. My advice: still have her own separate life with home values for the most important thing in life: the children. Show them a much better way to rise to the top — and have time to give them constant love and attention as her work is only blocks away from house and school. I see a division coming in the Obama family as Michelle is not going to be happy - and when Momma isn’t happy, nobody’s happy. Mark my words.