Contentment, I believe, comes from having stability in our lives.  But above and beyond that, we each have need for love and caring - a closeness that once was and now is harder to find. 

What has happened to what once was?  I would attribute it to the fast-paced, almost regimented lives most of us live now.  Surely our children don’t seem to be living the carefree lives many of us had in our youth.  The feeling of family close in - those we could count on and love - have been scattered to the four winds.  Friends?  Too busy too often to bolster our sagging spirits. 

The wonders of the computer age have left us standing with our cell phones, often on inconsequential conversations.  Hours that used to be spent enjoying each other’s company are now spent sitting alone at our computers staring at a screen.  As wondrous as they are, they are no trade-off for intimate conversations.  We stare at screens of all sorts instead of laughing together.  Are our hearts full these days?  Doubtful, except on occasion.  We hold pieces of plastic more hours than we hold our loved ones.

Women run high on emotions — and for most of us, we need our fill of love and enjoyment to be complete.  Remember "open arms stretched wide"?  How often do we see that, feel that?  Not near enough.  How often do we hear the words we long to hear?  How can we hear those precious things when life is too often a rat race, and each of us are alone with our tiny machines pressing buttons?  How often - if we are honest - do we see joy, real joy - in someone’s face, in their words?  How many marriages even hold together?   

Those of us who remember what we now call "the simpler life" play the game of "remember when".  . and we smile at those joys that were. 

For good reason.

There seems a correlation between wonderful romantic dreams and sleeping on high-thread-count sheets.  . and so I have given myself permission to sleep between sheets of pure luxury.  There is nothing like waking up with a smile on your face. :-)

Another thing I have noticed - and perhaps we all have - is that, in our dreams, we always remain quite young.  Why is that I wonder??  (But I’ll take it!!!)

Besides the romantic dreams - and no, I am not going to divulge them but just know they are beyond good - those that have recurred over and over are always the same and always in color:  bright sunshine, blue blue skies, and me in a parka walking on turquoise ice with walls of frozen-in icebergs towering like skyscrapers on either side, colored in that pale blue, stretched endlessly ahead.  To me, I guess I am being given a glimpse of the heaven as I believe it to be. 

I must admit both sensual dreams and glimpses of heaven both have appeal.  What I do notice that the dreams of blue icy heaven are coming more often - which may foretell something I am not ready for - so I am upping the thread-count of my sheets (and adding a wonderful duvet) with the hope that those unforgettable dreams that the sheets seems to give me will swing back to what used to be the norm.  They will be time for cathedrals in ice, I think, when I am 90 or thereabouts.

Maybe even later …  

A surgeon, like it or not, very often does multi-task now during operations.  Only this week, when a daughter broke her elbow that was indecision on operating or not.  A second opinion was needed.  The surgeon actually sent a copy of multiple X-rays to another surgeon who was operating at the time (!) to his screen in the operation room, and he momentariily stopped his operation to study her X-ray and make that decision. 

I said "WHAT?" and then asked a son who spends most of his time in another operating room in a major city in orthopedics.  And yes, this happens with decisions on another patient being made in the middle of the process he is doing.  While I realize that fractures might not be life-and-death operations, neither is decision making on another at the same time.  It is amazing what "we" don’t know that does happen — and I guess I would consider it multi-tasking. 

We, as a people, have become jugglers.  . and, as in juggling, only a few are able to perfect keeping many balls in the air for a considerable amount of time.  And when we drop the ball, depending on the circumstances, there may be considerable consequences.  We now have the new description:  "the fast-paced world".  We would be wise then to schedule our own time alone for ourselves no matter what every day, I believe, or the consequences in the home or once we are out our door have the warning signs already of DISASTER, many-layered.  We have been given advances, more often than not encased in plastic, but our modern new world.  Our love affair with these plastic advances have changed our lives - not always for the better - in a fashion that gives me pause.  How about you?  Joan

A very strong woman - and I don’t mean in the physical sense - but one where there is little doubt that she is running the organization: one that has rules that are not meant to be bent or broken, well thought out in the first place, and the ability to say "no" when needed. 

As in any sport ( as well as in some other fields ) prima donna players want special consideration.  However, if the rules are just and agreed upon by the board, they must have a strong leader who upholds them.

As it is a complete women’s organization, it stands to reason that the CEO is a woman.  . but a woman who knows the sport and its problems back and forth "from the inside" preferably - and hopefully is a respected person already in the field.  As the best leader normally has a team approach, those under her should be up-and-comers with specific expertise in the field of sports.  Frankly, this will not be the easiest job. 

Darn it, Phyllis — you picked Susan Hayward???  Talk about one-upping us from the start … as that look and personality stuns the watcher.  Our movies wouldn’t have a prayer!!!  What a gal you are - or were — but if I were to guess, you still are.

I can still picture her - and now I will always think "Phyllis".

Agree!!!  And after I wrote, I found that a long list of other phrases that should be forever after banned from the English language occurred to me.  And with your ability in language, I know that your list would be longer than mine.  I do admire people who are able to use five-syllable words as you just did.  Is "wow" all right?  Probably not!!!!

Definitely DIANE LANE.  She doesn’t just play the part, she becomes the person — and so often the person is me.  You know she is a woman of many layers — and extremely good at all of them :-)!!  Face it - she’s me. Or as close as it gets. 

Now I get more fussy — as I would have the male lead no less than Richard Gere.  My character would NOT be attracted to just anyone — no way.  Again - many-layered.  And without him, my character would not work - believe me!!!

The title?  The Unfettered Life.  Mine?  NO, not quite as no-holds-barred as that … but certainly one of living life to the fullest.  That is for sure … 

very unique

24/7

your welcome

hot enough for you?

Susan .  .  . that was a story of stories about your mother.  As they say in all stages of life:  life happens.  And then the telling part is what we do with the challenges before us.   As your mother did, it is too busy to do anything else.  Instead, you live one day at a time until you see the glimpses of sunshine again.  We are much more flexible, have much more energy, when we are young.  We look back.  We say "How did I ever do that - how did I get through that?"  What, again, we don’t see until some years have past is that we made it through, and not only that:  we have learned, we have grown, we have become more mature - and yes, independent and confident as we have succeeded.  There is always an upside if we but look for it. 

Your mother sounds most special.  .  . and again, what sets her apart is her life was spent doing for others.  When one does that, the rewards that come back are not money — they are better than money.  She was loved, admired, but the joy she bought to other children is so noticable that it rebounds into the heart.  And money can’t buy that.  I would call it a life well lived and a woman exemplary to all others.  Instead of "poor me", it is saying "Yes, it can be done and my rewards are in love returned".  And I am guessing you are very much like her.  I am sure you are.  Joan

Kermie … your second sentence says it all - and we should take heed of it.  Men who father the children should be taking their own role, their own part in raising them.  Children look up to parents for love, for guidance, for the difference between right and wrong.  We all learn but what we see - how else do we know if we have not had caring parents to model from?  It should be TWO people parenting.   But so often the father figure is not assuming his role — or just plain gone. 

Like your father, mine also died when I was still young.  It was only much later when I realized - as an adult - the responsibility that shifted on a single parent.  Can you imagine — the salary is no longer coming in and the remaining parent has to make a "go" of it?  Obviously, my mother had singular strength as I so no collapse, no upheaval.  She remained resplendent, hiding what surely had to lie beneath.  A series of heart attacks starting at age 50 probably told the untold tale of what it took to remain so outwardly strong, looked up to as a perfect parent. 

But - for a couple - bonding takes place if both assume their own and different roles as parents.  They are working together, lightening the load, but sharing . . and with it, having a degree of understanding of what it takes on an every day basis to raise children that ultimately turn out well as adults.  That crucial part was certainly left out in this story. . as if it would be unexpected for the father to be doing his part.

We don’t have to "have it all" all at once.  There will be time for US to be all we want to be (and most of us only know WHAT our own roads in life will be - the road that will be fully satisfying and wonderful - much later in life).  What I have found - from long experience - is that any neglecting of the childhood years of our children tends to bring problems germinated then to the fore in adulthood.  These problems - like it or not, believe it or not - come home to roost when we are in the midst of our own heyday. 

For those not there yet, this is a warning, a warning with all the flashing lights!  We have choices on numbers of children.  . but once made, I believe that the parents should be responsible to these children.  Jobs? I see more and more women taking shared positions with other mothers, working only a couple of days a week if money is needed. 

Now, let’s talk about the second half of life - that time when the kids have flown the coop.  I find that we pretty much know what direction we want to go to be that fully independent woman.  We are not that old — I was under 40 when my kids were gone.  The seeds of what I wanted to try had germinated.  I was up and out (and fully know that you can finish a degree on-line while the kids are growing by doing it slowly - so no excuses on that one!!), being very particular that I was following my own road that had fleshed out as I became more mature.  The joys in my life earlier had been my children.  Now my joys of a different sort soared as I began fulfilling my own potential that had been waiting in the wings. 

We are far more confident in our 40s, better equipped thru life experiences, and our minds never have been sharper.  It is our time. . and will remain so.  Our paths often go into different directions than we could have imagined existed.  Doors open up to us and we don’t have to weigh the choices between children’s needs and our own.  We can go full steam ahead.  I know because I did. 

Yes, you can have children and work at a major job full time — but you will look older as the strain of juggling both takes its own toll.  The long- range toll on the children comes back to haunt.  If you must work, make it part time (as I am betting a nanny is out of your range).  But use that children’s growing-up time to complete your degrees, advanced degrees in the evening when there is help at home.  Do reading so you are up in what is expected in your upcoming field.  The regrets will come like stones resting on you later IF you are not home as much as possible in those growing years of children.  You will have missed some of the most beautiful times of life - and learned so much from the trying parts (of which there are many). 

Yes, we women can have it all.  For, after the children, WE can become all we can be — and if you are like me, "glory" on this combination forever after.  And — ladies — NO guilt!!!