Trouble falling asleep — never.  Getting up at 5am to check the 20 e-mails from my daily correspondents who are night owls — just about always.  I love the still small hours of the morning when all is dark, silent, and I am at my writing best.  This is my piece of heaven and those that can write the compelling pieces are up and running amok with their prose.  Treats galore … and a good night’s sleep.  A winning combination every night!!!  What a great start to my day!!

Love letters … and I mean love letters written in pen and ink on wonderful feeling paper have more meaning to me than any material gift.  Irresistible bits of moments in time, love letters flowed out with the ink onto the paper, often with phrases, words of beauty capturing the feelings that most often weren’t expressed in like form in the spoken words.

I am sentimental.  And so, carefully marked in my attic, are boxes of love letters of my early life spent so far apart.  I don’t have to re-read them over and over, for just knowing they reside in a place close to me make my spirits soar just thinking about them.  My hidden treasures, actually tied in blue ribbons, remain:  pieces of my heart.

Will there be a return of the love letter of old?  Life is running too fast for the thoughtful responses.  . but I still get small love notes, left on the table at times, reminders that love still is alive and well in my own life.  Truly, it is the small things that count.  My feeling is that if you have love, you have it all.  A friend - the only one I know - still receives those hand-written letters on handmade paper, complete with Rumi poems written along the edge, from her man from afar rarely seen.  . and they are counted, kept, and treasured.

I will look forward to Campion’s latest movie — I miss none of hers - and already know it will not only be beautiful but touching.  . a glimpse back into a world with elements that we should long for. 

My own thoughts:  I have to disagree with Newsweek on this one.  .  . and I wish the author of the article would interview my men friends of a certain age - edging on 100 or more - and NOT men I would consider "elderly" or "aging" either.  What they are are "brilliant" - shimmering, shining lights who have phenonemal memories (that are beginning to put mine to shame.)  They e-mail me, challenging me to respond to their thinking on political issues, social issues, more.  The Bostonian - who is 100 - has a book that has been taken for publication on the issue of age.  Another, 94, does not miss a cultural activity in Tucson, doesn’t need to be manhandled to the symphony, and can blow me away with his discussions on his return.  Not enough?  I have more.  Another has a major book/ encyclopedia that will hit the stores in December.  Again, his e-mails out-do those of most of my women friends.  In each case, in looking back, I found them intellectually stimulating and desirably "older" when I was young.  Liz has made me think about this subject.  I think my response is that their own "love of life" and continual quest for knowledge has kept them active as one could be - and interesting to be with - as who doesn’t want to be with someone whose conversation is mesmerizing? — as it always was.  They are wonderful companions and "age" is forgotten - well, except to say "how do they do this?" 

How do I feel about "older men" now?  These men - throughout my life - have been a  precious gift to me.  They tell me that life isn’t over until it is over — not with a "thunk" at a certain age.  They know they are loved - not just by me - but all who know them.  The added factor they may have is having people around them who love them, who want to be with them, are excited to hear what they have to say, and to find them never stopping squeezing out all the areas of our world for all they are worth. 

My thoughts about women — well, that is another story for another time.  Liz, an interesting subject … and I think you probably could match me and more with the "older men friends" you know.  I think I am right - as I know Liz!!!  

Again, Darling Phyllis, you were not only first — but you somehow managed a RHYME in that last bit of "the play" .  .  . challenging me again.  So I am forced to tell you a true story, just accomplished:  In MY village of 26 parks, the powers-that-be - after a short 50 years - came up with the idea much like Liza’s cartoon.  But:  what to name it?  And so there was a contest.  And guess who won?  The one that loves puns.:-)  (so there, Phyllis)  And so the official name on the same wooden signs that all parks are designated with, BUT this one says: (ta da) THE BARK DISTRICT !

Thanks to Liza again, I get to tell!!!  But P.S. the homeowners whose beautiful homes back on this beautiful park are up in arms and ready to march on the village!!!

 

Phyllis … do you also read my mind????   As for the answer:  Ditto!!!  Joan

"Third floor, Cat Universe.  Going down.  Second floor, last minute to see Santa."

Hi Liza … ooops, I forgot to say that this hit the nail on the head this year.  Great.  Joan

Hi Frannie … I guess different strokes for different folk make the world go around.  Olive was an easy one for me to put down.  I use more judgment than that — but I have just finished a book that I read until 3am this morning that was irresistable.  Look at a later time if you love books, as I have two that I am going to do a review on so that you either think you will love them as I did or say they are not for you.  I am screaming "YES" on my latest ones … but know each of us have our own tastes.  Joan

Dear Charles Darnley … for that is how I envision you.  It is obvious with your great wealth that you retired very early to that estate in The Lake Country where you could entertain visitors in style.  I keep thinking of the curved wooden bannister, knowing that at least once when no one was looking, you tried to slide down.  That slight turn at the very bottom though came up too fast.  Your slight limp since just adds to your mystique and appeal.  Your manners are impeccable, but good breeding shows every time.

I had no idea, Mr. Darnley, that you had decided to leave your office so soon.  You no doubt - as others did - supposed that they could not do without you, and calls would be coming frequently on questions only you had the answers for.  But - as others have also found - that was not to be.  But you DO have that smug look as you see the business sink slowly in the sunset, knowing that recession or not, they could not manage without you.

I have quite unlike circumstances, Charles Darnley, but I do have a husband that was - hmmmm - forced to retire when he was still at his peak at Standard Oil.  He never looked back as he had another interest (well, besides me, of course) that was lifelong and held him in good stead.  I know of no other men that have many many more friends than their wives, many more activities that call for faraway travel at times to receive great awards, and a gigantic home office that is used 16 hours a day with such joy.  I have my yellow room of my own, and he has his heaven, surrounded by book shelves that are filled with research materials for his writing.  Perhaps, that is why I questioned you as Paul does not seem to have a "down" moment and only wishes there were more hours in the day.  I take it that this scenario is rather unique on both sides.  . and dreamlike.

I suggest you might write your memoirs if they are not too racy - though "racy" sells these days.  I will do my best to lift a loose spirit now and then … for Charles Darnley has a reputation you know that must be kept.

Dr. Joan is available for consultations when she is in residence.

 

Dear Perfect Phyllis,

You just knew that I was still finishing another of my really good essays … and so, you got yours in first.  And I can tell your mommy helped you with yours as a little kid can’t spell the word "squeeze" right - and you were showing off too much.  I saw how you threw your long blonde braids really high as you brought your story up first.  All the other kids just wadded up their own stories in tiny little balls and are going to throw them when the teacher turns her back because the teacher thinks yours is the best already. 

It isn’t fair — as my summer was soooooooooo bad that it made yours look really good.  I bet you don’t even know how horrible it is when your daddy is dissolute - or something like that - and says that we are going to be put out on the street.  That scares me as we live on Drexel Bollevard and the cars will kill us I think.  I am really scared … and I told all the things that mommy said we should never say to ANY ONE, cross your heart, but anyhow the story was better if I told them so I did.

Next time I am going to stay up all night if I have to so you won’t be first again … just you wait, Phylllis Pillus.

Joanie

Lauriate … things that discourage you when in former times they did not.  Puzzling to me as it sounds as if your life is wonderful … so what could you mean.  I never ever feel like that - never - as I am thrilled with what I have been given all my life and live each day with joy.  Talking of songs, how about:  Make someone happy, make one someone happy, and you will be happy, too!!!!!!!"  I never dwell on myself when so many others seem to need my help.  Then who has time for low times and there is such a great feeling that you have made another’s life better — even with words, often with words - in fact, but many time with small deeds.  For me, well, I do a lot of counseling. Dr. Joan they call me — and I listen more than talk, but we can always find something wonderful about another — and then we say it and smiles break out — and the day is made.  YOU must do that also — you must.  I know you.  Joan

Joan — congrats on the SUPER article all about you in today’s NYT — very impressive, great writing, making youo sound like a "joan of all trades" and doing everything well.  Bet you are up there is the clouds today — and well you should be.   Joan

Janet, 

As I began to think about this subject more, I think I find that "dreams" can be ephemeral.  Perhaps that should not be the word if we want to keep opening new doors.  I tend to think ahead - not dreamlike - but PLAN.  What steps can I take that each day is never a wasted one?  My mind seems to be ten steps ahead, the hows and whys are well thought out, and for me there is always an air of excitement as I move along.  Usually, it is a learning curve and on that curve, meeting new people who often turn out to be fascinating and stimulating and …  well, more.  And I am thinking that you are the same!!! oan

Katrina…

Your love for your parents, parents who have provided a store of the most glorious memories for you - that so many others around us have never had - is the greatest legacy that one could ever receive from family.  You have been blessed.  Those memories will sustain you forever and are the envy of so many others who would read this.  

There is a feeling of joy when reading about your parents.  It says much about them that their children as adults settled so close.  While little may have been said, because your parents were able to see you so much, their own lives flourished in a way you yet may not understand.  The best I can explain it is say that "mutual love was in the air" and the result was pure gold, highly polished.

Your parents, in giving up this home, are not only looking ahead for themselves with much thought, but saving you from a wealth of emotion later as you had to make decisions on "things" that cut into the heartstrings.  Not too many of us have had both parents well and still at our sides at that age.  Again, you have been blessed.

But the most wonderful thing you can do now - as they open a new chapter in their own lives - is to be excited for them, letting them know that you will be happy to visit and be part of their new world.  Any "parting" as the sorting goes on in the house will only be of "things", mostly packed away.  If it makes you happy to take a sentimental memory or two, do it.  But you will find that still having your parents’ love surrounding you - and making the most of your upcoming times together - tells me you have the gift of gifts.  Wherever they move, keep your connections open and filled with the words of love, always telling them what they mean to you, listening to them as they wend their way into this new chapter.  Your solid wonderful memories are in place - and lucky you, they are still around (!) and you are going to be able to build more.  For those of us who lost the best of parents early, we could only wish that we still had the ties that bind.

YOur story is told beautifully from the heart for all of us to enjoy.

 

Carol … as a book a day reader (well, almost) for a lifetime, my haunts are bookstores.  What I am finding is a wealth of mediocre reading these days - with a winner almost buried in the snowdrifts of pap.  I have to have good writing, a story that catches me up in it … and my encounters with those are less frequent.  Even the regulars who now seem to have ghostwriters who do the work in turning out book after book in their formula while they reap the rewards are not as worthy.  I find that the few independent book stores have uncovered more gems — not as highly advertised, not best sellers that have won that award by huge publicity campaigns.  I love the Canadian choices - particularly in McNally Robinson — quite selective and trustworthy.  Glad there is another who is picky also!