Inconsiderate people are unpleasant in every shape, size and gender.  I guess it’s good that you’re at peace with being alone, because I don’t know any self respecting individuals — male or female — that find such bitterness and generalization attractive.

Why should someone else’s definition of who I am take precidence over my own?  None of us lives in a vacuum.  Some eat a certain diet to achieve desired results, some exercise, some take vitamins, some take drugs, some have surgeries (necessary, unnecessary and that gray area in between where "quality of life" can only be determined by the person living it).  Who are you to declare what makes me ME?

Merci M, I am appalled at your description of blatantly using your “boyfriend” purely because he treats you well even though you don’t like him. There are probably people you could convince to buy imaginary bridges from you too, but it doesn’t make it right.

Furthermore, I think more and more women are getting into this trap these days: believing they will never find a man they are completely compatible with, and since society tells us it’s okay to try and change a man, settling for someone who hits some of the right notes but not all. Then they wonder “how much is too much” to have to sculpt him into someone they like better. The answer is, if you have to change him at all, that is too much. Ladies, even if there isn’t a single other human on the earth that would suit us, it would be better to stay single than to trick and trap someone into living their life along side us, when both of us could be single or with someone who loves us completely. This bait and switch technique is unethical! It’s not a problem that there aren’t many good men out there, for goodness sake you only need ONE. Find the right one, and you won’t find yourself writing to advice columnists about him.

Margo you missed the point. This woman doesn’t even care about the topics that her boyfriend loves to chatter about. That’s a huge red flag. She’s just not that into him. So he’s a great catch, for somebody else. Don’t be a selfish jerk and lead the guy on to believe you actually care what he has to say when you don’t, just because you like his other qualities. Let him be loved for someone who loves him truly, and find yourself someone who is all you want them to be.