All excellent points!

It’s all about how you want the world around you to view you. If you have an attitude of "I don’t care" that says more about you and your mindset than those who see you.

And great point about posture, I think it is so important to pay attention to how we move through life. It’s not about getting from point A to point B, its about how you move between those points. :-)

I’m surprised by your response to letter #1 Margo, that’s not your norm. I say, why lie? Be direct and honest in your written response to her email and tell her point blank: "You show a lot of moxie in asking for money from friends for his party. But the truth is I think that it is inappropriate for us to pay for his birthday party. A gift, yes - covering the expense of the party, no."  My guess is a lot of the people she emailed took the same approach the letter writer did and said nothing to her directly. So she is oblivious that she is being a goon - strong arming people for money.

And letter #2 - boy can I relate. I am not attracted to shy, wimpy, nondescript guys and yet 3 guesses as to the types of guys that are drawn to me? You guessed it. Ugh! I love a man who is confident and secure, willing and able to step up and make decision. Like the letter writer, it would drive me nuts if the guy can’t or won’t do that. But, she answered her own question to Margo, she has been with him happily for 11 years! That says it all. 

It would be completely different if she said she had been with him 11 years and throughout he annoyed her to no end. But she has been happy and now, simply because marriage is looming - an official and (God willing) life binding move, she is making what has been insignificant issues more weighty than they are.

I say it’s just nerves. 

Messy One, you and I are very different. But then again I am very different from most people.

I always think in situations like this letter writer, what if? God forbid her mother were to die tomorrow. Would she be filled with emotions of "oh well, she had to go sometime….on with my life" or "Oh my God, if only I had……."

I don’t know about you but I have had people die (recently and unexpectedly) and I have those emotions of things I didn’t say, things I didn’t do. She may indeed be cantankerous, whiny and mean spirited. But there is a reason why she is that way. And yes her daughter has her own life, but like it or not this is the woman who gave her life.  I don’t believe we have to stay glued to the hip to people in our lives. The truth is some are so vexatious that they are poisonous to us, they should be let go. But my thinking is if there is love there, a true sense of caring for a person, the compassionate thing to do is go over and above to help. If you can, great. If you fail, so be it, at least you tried.

I’ve been the catalyst to the change in people in my life. I have known MANY women like the mother in her letter…MANY. And with my help and friendship I saw them transform into women who now have their own lives. They date, care about their appearance, socialize, work and lead full lives. I’m not special, I’m just little ol’ Belinda, but I cared enough to step in and guide them into being better for themselves. So I know firsthand it can help to have someone care enough to break down those walls that some people put up as a shield. This letter writer can either care enough to go that extra mile, or decide her mother isn’t worth the effort. And if she chooses the latter, she’ll have to deal with the consequences.

NS, as a Mormon, thank you for weighing in on this topic.

What you have said has shaken me to my core. This is the most disgusting, cruel and heartless way of looking at a group of people who simply want to be who they were born (not chose) to be…Gay. How despicable if it is indeed true, and I have no reason to distrust you, that a family would accept the suicide of their loved one over their simply leaving the church.

Forgive me if this offends you, given you are a current Mormon, but you have made a choice to align yourself, your morals, faith and heart with an organization that is cruel and devoid of the teachings from any Bible I have ever read. I will assume you remain a member because of other aspects that far outweigh the manner in which they treat their homosexuals.

The art of articulating perfectly….very important to me. Every time I hear someone speak in that sing-song manner "so like I WAS SAYING I really do LIKE THE WAY that looks on YOU…"

Nails on a blackboard! :-)

Anne, although your points are valid, as it relates to this couple they are not.

We are talking about a couple who are members of a religious sect. Just as if they were Catholic, Jewish, Muslim or Lutheran. Each religion has its core values, moral structure, belief systems, etc. tied directly to their religious beliefs. Again, I don’t know a lot about the Mormon faith, but I can’t believe their faith would be one that would say to marry for "financial support - companionship, etc." are acceptable under the teachings of their faith. So, although you and others can say it is okay to marry for these innocuous reasons, if you truly label yourself a Mormon, to marry for these reasons goes against what you were taught.

There is a distinction that I think a lot of people miss. I agree with you if we are talking about people with no ties to a religion or spiritual teaching. They can and do marry for a multitude of reasons. But if you are bound by faith in a particular religion, why you marry is of the utmost importance.

Boy, you ladies don’t paint a flattering picture of the Mormon faith. They are against homosexuality and will encourage those who are gay to abstain from sex. Which is a ridiculous notion. And 30 is considered old because the focus is on multiplying and giving birth. What about those women who can’t give birth? Are they looked upon as lepers? Flawed individuals unable to contribute to the church, community or their families in the way of the Mormon teachings?

Never a big fan of any organized religion, I can find fault in many aspects of the Mormon faith. But on its face, based on the few postings on this thread, it isn’t a religion that looks kindly to its women and non heterosexual members.  Can you imagine what life would be like if you were born into a Mormon family, a female AND you were Gay! Talk about a hard road to walk…..

We know how it happened. The wealth that swept across the world where everyone was living "high on the hog"

And we had to know intellectually at least, that it couldn’t last forever. The wealth that so many enjoyed for so long, had to at some point end. It was rising too high, spiralling upward and beyond anyone’s ability to focus. We all had to know a crash would be inevitable.

But now that the crash we all knew would come is here, it is depressing to see the affects of it. Monte Carlo. I had not stopped to think of the affect on the Millionaires who jet across the world living lives we simple folk can only experience in our dreams. We simple folk can’t afford to pay our medical bills, tuition for kids, mortgage and rent. And those poor rich people can’t afford to fly off to Cannes.

I guess all things are equal.

I simply LOVE this article Mireille, it is everything women today need to take heed to and apply to their lives in the workplace. All of your points are spot on and so important.

For me points 7 and 8 are at the top with all the others just a smidgen behind. What I have noticed is a growing amount of young women who think the only way they can be taken seriously in the workplace is to behave more like a man. The stereotype they have of a man. They swear and speak loudly, walk loudly and dress….well, masculine.

I am feminine to the point of distraction. But I am also respected in the workplace. I can get my point across without screaming, as I always say, I don’t have to shout to be heard. I can whisper and have an entire room on the edge of their seats straining to hear me. Learning good communication skills is not easy, for some it comes naturally. But for many others it is a skill that needs to be learned. It’s unfortunate that as women we don’t always take our jobs seriously. We need to, and it begins with applying these 10 points Mireille pointed out. They really do work.

And can I add one Mireille, tell women to pay attention to how they speak. For God’s sake will women stop singing when they talk. You know what I mean? The ones who end each sentence on an upward inflection. Ugh! :-)