I agree with you, Maggie, especially your comment above about this not being an issue until a lawyer got involved.  Who the heck cares?  People face dress codes every day, in the workplace or elsewhere.  A friend of my daughter’s is a dental assistant with some sort of large Buddhist symbol tattooed on her forearm, and her boss does not want it showing.  She must either wear long sleeves (in AZ), or, as she has been doing, checking out the price of removal.  But I suppose in today’s world of trivial pursuit, this could be a potential lawsuit.

Isn’t it ironic that Muslims, especially women, are coming from countries where they are fortunate to be able to have their most basic human rights respected, and would probably never even have a voice in a court at of law, but come to this country and start challenging trivialities at every turn.  There are a lot of wacky judges out there; take the darn thing off, get your name change (whatever that’s all about), put it back on.  Done.  So what??  She has accomplished something she would probably not even be able to do in her country of origin.  And, for the record, there seems to be truckloads of laws regarding Muslim women, and what they are and are not allowed to do, and I don’t agree with them and would hope that same judge would not either if she was abused, denied an education, sold off in marriage at  ten years old, etc. whether that is part of their religion or not.

I live in Chicago, and just this morning there was an article about a Muslim man who went to Wisconsin, bought 4 lambs for $400, hogtied them, threw him in his truck and drove back to the city where the plan was to have them slaughtered according to his religious practice, and eat them for Ramadan.  Only problem, he decided to kill one in his garage, and that didn’t sit too well with the neighbors, who called the cops.  He’s sitting in handcuffs for 8 hours trying to figure out what the problem is!  I’m going to admit it - I think this is hysterical.  I may be in "outrage overload," and, if so, I’m glad.  There are some things that call for outrage, like our messed up health care system, or gangs taking over neighborhoods and terrorizing people, and hundreds more, but I think our world has been trivialized to an extent that it is not good for our kids.

At one time, certain restaurants had dress codes; didn’t they even sometimes give a man a sportcoat if he didn’t have one on?  Schools around here have dress codes (everyone the same to cut down on gang trouble,) even stores have signs "no shoes, no shirts, no service," and that’s fine.  I think we should all just file one giant class action lawsuit for whatever slights, humiliations, or rejections we have ever faced in this life and get it over with.

Yes Kryssi, an acquaintace of mine at the gym was "diagnosed" with Broken Heart Syndrome last year.  Her sister-in-law, who she was extremely close to, died shortly after giving birth to her first child after an apparently healthy pregnancy.  My friend was traumatized by this event.  One day while exercising, she couldn’t breathe and her chest started tightening, and she got herself to the emergency room.  After a series of tests, that is what they came up with.

Wow, people have brought up so many thoughtful and thougt provoking ideas of being authentic that I found myself agreeing with them all, but my first gut feeling is that of being "genuine," as Jeanott mentioned above.  I have been described as "genuine" all of my life, by family, friends, and in evaluations during school internships.  Even when I’m going into a new situation and think "now is a chance to be anything I want," I just end up being me.  That is just my core personality, I guess.

As I age, it is not as pronounced as before (at least I don’t think so.)  It just doesn’t seem so vitally important anymore for me to let everyone know how I feel about things, or to always question people when I see discrepancies between their words and actions.  I’m kind of proud of myself when I’m silent.  There’s some peace in just letting go and let it be (more wise words from Al Anon.)

Anyway, I don’t know as much as I used to!  As I build up more years behind me, I find myself more puzzled by people.  One of the downsides to being a genuine person is assuming everyone around me is the same way, and that couldn’t be less true.  This fact has caused me much outrage over the years, but now I finally try to accept that people do things and act in ways that give them some sense of importance, or of being special or something, and just think "whatever, if it makes them feel good, fine."

Hi MK P … she wasn’t a regular on the show, but on some of the early ones she played the town nurse and, of course, she dated Andy!  Now I’m curious and will probably check out Tatum’s book at the library.

I never cared for Ryan O’Neal, but for all the reasons people have commented on above, and his actions in the last month of Farrah’s life, I truly detest the man.  I didn’t find him a sincere or sympathetic person in the least.  They obviously had some kind of dysfunctional relationship that served their needs, but he milked her suffering and death for all it was worth.

I realize I am passing judgments here, but, come on, when your heart is breaking at the thought of the imminent passing of the love of your life, why would you submit to every interview from morning to late night telling strangers how much you love her, how it was "creepy" because her eyes were open her last days, even though she wasn’t really seeing, etc., etc.  That is disgusting.  And all this with his eyes pulled so tightly that I don’t think tears would even be able to penetrate anyway.

Just a bit of trivia, I knew Tatum O’Neal’s mother was an addict, but I was so surprised to hear she was abusive.  Have any of you ever seen her on old episodes of Andy Griffith?  She was so pretty and sweet.  It’s kind of weird the way we recall people from one moment in time caught forever in the world of reruns!

I have loved coffee since I was a young girl sitting at the kitchen table with my mom reading the paper.  Must have it every morning, sort of an endless cup that I keep adding a few drops of milk to and then pour more coffee on top.  The women I work with on my new job are also coffee people, so I’m pretty much drinking it till about noon, that’s when even I’ve had my "fill."

I admit, though, that I am not a Starbucks girl; too much trouble when I need to ask questions and receive instructions before ordering a cup of coffee!  Kind of the same with tea.  I love tea, and might have a nice cup in the afternoon every now and then, but the steeping, and the bags, it’s too much trouble.  If I want another cup it’s more hot water, more bags.  But a nice 12 cup pot of coffee, just keep it coming!

Oh James, that’s terrible.  Too bad you won’t give it another try.  Coffee time, especially first thing in the morning, is such a lovely part of the day.

Star, that is so true.  I have experienced that very thing twice in the past week; once with the dermatologist, again with the opthamologist.  The dermatologist actually told me to schedule another app’t. to discuss my other concerns.  Excuse me, what am I getting for my $95 today?  So my immediate answer would be I wish I could discuss medical matters with my doctors, but lately I’ve gotten better information from friends!

The bottom line, as Linda stated above, is giving a thumbs up to happiness wherever you can find it in this crazy world.  That being said, I don’t see this happening all that much.

 I see the majority of men as visual beings whose eyes pass over all that wisdom and hard earned inner beauty and gravitate right towards the young thing who is all fresh and smooth and taut.  I really think it gives them a major ego boost and makes them believe they are still fresh and smooth and taut!

I may check them out occasionally, and have been flattered a couple of times to have attracted their attention, but I never forget that young ones have really short attention spans!  So I want to age gracefully and not have the added burden of wondering what they might be seeing as time goes by.

One final thought; I’m so tired of people gushing over Demi Moore’s looks.  This woman made herself over from head to toe years ago (I think for her movie "Striptease"), and I am certain she now spends hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars in maintenance "fees" to keep up with her young guy.

Baby Snooks … that’s funny.

I don’t know how I managed to do that…

Hey Caren

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Caren …. I’m December 19, 1955, so I was usually the "youngest" in my high school group!  Actually, I guess I still am, but it doesn’t matter too much at this point!

 

 

Good morning, Lena.  The concern and care for others that your posts always reveal while you’re going through such a rough time is a humbling life lesson, and I am pulling for you and your twa (love that!)

Hi Caren … First, just want to say we are the same age, and I think you look beautiful and radiant.  I guess my thoughts are just a little different than what the other ladies have expressed in that I feel if you are happy and comfortable with your color, that is great.  But if it depresses you or makes you feel older, color it.  You can get kits at the drugstore if you can’t afford a professional right now.  I understand what most of the ladies are saying about accepting ourselves and doing things for us and not men (or other women, for that matter) but I don’t see the point as far as coloring.  It’s like the saying "pick your battles" when raising kids.  As maturing women, there are so many changes, both emotional and physical, that we have to learn to accept and make peace with, why try to make some kind of statement with grey hair if that’s not where you’re at yet?  That is one thing that’s so easy to change. 

 Heck, I think I’m looking pretty good for my stage of life, and it’s true that just as the world starts seeing me as one thing, I am feeling more attractive and appealing than I did ten years ago.  But if it was as easy to go the store and get something that was going to lift my rapidly drooping neck as it is to get hair dye, I’m there!  Does that make me shallow or unaccepting of myself?  I don’t believe so.

JJust another way of looking at it.  Have a great day.

B Clark … I’ve thought about coloring with henna, do you know if it covers grey?