This topic has been such a revelation to me on so many levels. I can relate to several things others have mentioned, and like a lot of them, I’m relieved to know I’m not a freak! I am an only child (well, I had an older brother, but he passed away many years ago), and I think that definitely matters. Although I always envied friends with big families, I really prefer being alone (I don’t share well!) I, also, LOVE to read and have no problem going to see movies alone. Actually, it’s better sometimes because I can see whatever intrigues me without worrying that someone else may not be enjoying it. I also am way too involved in the lives of my two dogs and two cats (I am amazed to see all of the cats out there ruling the roost!) Sometimes I make myself be more available to my 81 year old mother and my two grown daughters, though, because when you’re 52, you know that time together is precious. Another thing I can relate to is feeling more lonely with a husband than without. I am still legally married, but we don’t have much interaction… not much in common, he likes to drink, ride his motorcycle in warm weather, I have no interest in either. I’ve got to admit; it is a very lonely and hurtful feeling to know the world sees you as a married person, but you are sitting around on a beautiful spring or summer day alone while your “husband” prefers his own activities. I live in a big city and there’s a lot of stuff going on that I would love to experience, but there is only so much you can do by yourself, so I admit to falling in the pity pot now and then. Anyway, it’s nice to know that there are others out there who I can relate to. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Elizabeth - thanks for clearing up some of my confusion - appreciate it.

I am mostly CONFUSED by the whole process at this point. I’m going to admit it, (even to all you super smart ladies.) I began being pretty excited about Hillary; wanted to do some volunteer work, voted for her. I live in Obama country (Chicago), but am not crazy about the guy. I voted for him for senator, he said he had no interest in the presidential race. Surprise! Shouldn’t people have to give up their office if they decide to run for president? I, personally, feel like I was duped. Apparently, being the senator from Illinois was simply part of a bigger plan because he was gone in a flash. So I’m paying his senate salary; what is he doing for me? Next area of confusion: everyone expected Hillary to win in PA, but all you heard is, “it still won’t matter, superdelegates, yadda, yadda, yadda. So in my simplistic mind, it seems that popular vote (we, the people) don’t count in the end as the mysterious superdelegates (to me anyway!) will make the final decision, and they could go with the popular vote, but don’t necessarily have to … whaaat? So, in other words, backroom dealmaking is already going on. I also lost something for Hillary with that Bosnia stuff. It wasn’t just a controversial opinion or foot-in-mouth - it was just a big lie! What’s with that? I get enough of that from my husband; don’t need it from her. However, if she is the candidate (doubtful, apparently) I will vote for her. Won’t vote for Obama, couldn’t bring myself to vote for McCain. If anyone could clear this superdelegate thing for me, I would appreciate it. Does our vote count or not?

Ms Dee: So loved your description “weaving the fabric of our lives back together after the death of a loved one, but the snags go on and on (not word for word, I know.) That is lovely. I am at a point in life where a lot of my favorite people are gone, but I still have my mom (81), and I find myself worrying about how I could be in a world without her someday. Makes a person really try to live in the moment. Thanks.

Loved the reminiscences of the ladies …. I always enjoy hearing about the human angle of a story. My wardrobe mainly consists of workout clothes and jeans, but the piece wasn’t actually “fashion,” but human, and that interests me. I just returned home from Wal-Mart; that’s bad enough, don’t need to discuss the experience in detail, and, BTW, would be freaked out by a classy lady such as Candice Bergen telling me the deal she got on toilet paper! I live in my real world with a lot of not so good stuff going on, but no one’s going to take away my dreams. Anyway, let me know if you ever find a group of women at your local Wal-Mart who could cough up big bucks to start a site like this. Of course they have had different experiences than most of us, and I, for one, thank God for that. If every moment of my day was devoted to only relevant tasks, causes, and reading material, I would go crazy! P.S. Princess Grace — you remind me a lot of Suzanne de Cornelia. Have you gone undercover?

Perhaps I do what? If it’s the attitude I already spoke of, then I do. If it’s considering myself intellectually elite, not in this lifetime - strictly blue-collar Chicago. Sorry to have offended the Mugsy fan club!!

Mugsy Peabody …. noticed something interesting. We are all so very aware of your MENSA status and accomplishments, but, although you have no problem correcting everyone else’s supposed misinformation, you have never responded to anyone who corrects you on some fact or maybe strongly disagrees with you on some issue. Is it possible that you consider yourself an intellectual elite who doesn’t even need to acknowledge anyone who has the gall to call you on anything? Just an observation.

Incredibly well-put …. one of those “wish I’d said that” moments. You sound like the kind of woman I would really admire; obviously educated and articulate, but non-judgmental. Thanks.

Hi Barbara: Introverts Unite!! Thanks for your kind words. I say if we’re enjoying visiting this website and it’s adding something positive to our day (it is for me), then, by all means, let’s continue to do so, and not let other women intimidate us, or make us feel “less than.” I don’t have a career, don’t spend my summers in the South of France, and have never jumped out of a plane, but I didn’t see the prerequisites for being a part of this group of women, soo, until I do, I will continue to do my thing and not allow another woman to question my “value” to the dialog. So I hope you get over your stomach-churning (it’s not as bad as public speaking!), and just be yourself. We all have something to offer. Peace …..

Hi Barbara: Thanks for your comments. I never really thought about it until you brought it up, but I am actually one of those women who is definitely still learning and growing. In fact, I have never visited a website on a daily basis and contributed my thoughts until WOW. I was totally amazed by the caliber of contributors, the eloquence of the women; the sheer wealth of knowledge. At this point, I really just enjoy visiting all the topics, searching out names I recognize, taking in all the varying points of view. Admittedly, there are times when I don’t have a clue about people being quoted or events being referred to, but that’s fine (as long as it doesn’t get too pompous or self-serving.) I love politics, books, movies, and have just recently realized that most of what or who passes for celebrities in our current culture are not the least bit interesting (or am I just old?) On the other hand, I kind of enjoy hearing what women are doing on a more intimate, everyday level, too. So if Suzanne C. ever wants us to rise up and get involved and rebel, I’m willing to listen. Hey, I can’t find a job, have two daughters in their 20’s living dangerously without health insurance, and so on. But can we trust someone who doesn’t want to reveal what she wears to bed?

Hi Liz — Thanks for your simplified explanation of the housing situation. Of course it’s much more complicated, but let me be the first to admit that I don’t have a clue what Ms. Suzanne is talking about. I think I would need to be sitting in a classroom to get through most of her postings. I’ll stick to “Economics for Dummies!”

Rita: Your comments about your mother really resonates with me. I am an only child and extremely close with my mom, and she has always been sharp and funny and so completely dependable. Now, at 81, I see her looking so frail and being so forgetful. When she doesn’t remember something that I know she should know, I get a little unbelieving and impatient, and I know this is coming from fear. At this point in our lives, I realize I can no longer take my mother’s presence on this planet for granted, but, at the same time, it’s really hard to imagine a life with her not in it. So thanks for the reminder to accept the new “Mom” and appreciate her just the way she is …..

maam: I can relate….I, too, am currently job-hunting at 52, and it’s a different experience. I think I look pretty good, but probably not 40! I always wonder if age is a factor, but, of course, there’s no way to find out since no one is going to admit to practicing age discrimination! I read so many articles about employers looking toward the older job applicants to fill their needs, but that is not what I see in the real world. I think a lot of women who are fine with aging have stable jobs, maybe decent marriages….but if you find yourself in your 50’s trying to find employment, or maybe male companionship, it’s a whole different story. Good Luck to You….

Hasn’t anyone out there gotten caught up in this latest beauty marker … the full lip syndrome ala Jolie or Johanssen? It’s hard to keep it all straight. Let’s see — a beautiful woman is supposed to have big lips, big hair, BIG breasts, tiny waist, hips, thighs. If she could somehow manage to stay under 40 years old, that would be very much appreciated!! I, for one, will admit it. I have probably spent a $100.00 on various lip plumping products; it’s just so tempting … slather this stuff on and your thin little lips will become plump and kissable. Alas, they do not work, and after seeing the unfortunate results of various celebrities, I would not seek a professional cosmetic procedure, but just add it to my growing “acceptance list!” But if little old midwestern, middle-aged me can fall into the trap, I cannot even imagine the pressure on a Hollywood actress trying to stay current and relevant. It’s shallow, but it’s honest, and I believe more women are affected by it than let on.

H i Debra: I have never replied to anything on this site, but your comments resonated with me. I am not a widow, but hopelessly stuck in a long-term marriage that involves alcoholism (his) and offers me nothing in the way of love, companionship, sex, joy; just a paycheck with enough money to stay out of debt. Don’t get me wrong - I know the importance of that sentence; in fact, it seems to define my life at this point. I feel unworthy of expressing any dissatisfaction with life because someone else is paying my bills. I am also 52 years old, and people don’t understand. If you are 52 and set in life; stable marriage, middle of a career, or even a long-term job, I suppose it doesn’t seem that old. If you are like me, however, it sucks. I was a stay-at-home mom for several years, and didn’t give enough thought to my life; ambitions, dreams, CHOICES! Now here I am, wanting desperately to make something of my life, and am finding it extremely difficult. I look pretty good, but men are not lining up for 52 year-old women. I am fairly intelligent, articulate, and a lot of other admirable qualities, but potential employers are not interested. I have never gotten a straight answer to this, but I am guessing if they can get someone 20 years younger with better skills, they are not inclined at giving an older individual a chance (although I would probably be a better choice in many cases). Same with a social life; for the most part, people have their little piece of the world all figured out, and aren’t really reaching out to make new friends. I know this sounds like a bad case of self-pity, and I guess it is, but sometimes life’s disappointments get the best of you, and just pulling yourself by your bootstraps and thinking positive is almost impossible to do. Thanks for listening.