1#—In today’s chaotic ecomony, stress in the home, it is easy to go from friendship to love.  Love him for being who he is.  But in all honesty. IF the tables were turned, and your husband you’re married to fell in love with someone else, how would YOU feel?

Don’t use children as an excuse, they are smarter than you give them credit for.  My oldest son told me after 16 yrs he knew my ex was cheating on me, but didn’t want to see me hurt.  I had no clue.

Mind you, my ex did me a favor, after all the pain of the divorce. And the children knew I loved them and it wasn’t their fault.  Later I met and married my husband now while I was attending college to start over.

The other side of the fence always looks better.  But in all honesty, other than the connection of interest (because you took the time to build that up with a friend and not your spouse), if you could see a virtual scene of how your two lives honestly would look together.  Financial, children, living wise, would you honestly be happy?

I don’t know I get this odd feeling that you seriously should seek counceling just for yourself.  It sounds like you’re not happy either way. It also could be a co-dependent issue, or a depression issue just smoked over with this other person could make my life better.  

I suggest honestly, make your OWN life better first and deal with you and your children and leave the men (both inside and out) out of it emotionally.

Start there.  I don’t know these men, they could be good people for all I know or don’t know.  But I do know, if you’re not happy with yourself, no many other partners in the world is going to fix an inner hurt or pain you’re trying to fill or correct.

#2 - When your relative, no matter who says something about who you’re seeing.  Honestly.  Change the subject, and turn it towards them.

She — I don’t like the guy you’re seeing. 

You — That’s nice (I love that quote).  Who are you seeing these days?

Suppose you share thoughts about your interests in hobbies, music, etc and find that neither of you connect that way?

Then it would turn to..

You — I see we don’t share the same interests.  I can understand how then you can’t see what I see to enjoy, and visa versa.  

I’m sorry you’re not happy about those around you.  But we all have to walk in our own shoes.  I would wish the best for you no matter your choices.  I hope from now on you will do the same.  Otherwise, the best advice I could say to you at this time is.  If you don’t have something nice to say, best to keep it to yourself.  I don’t want to hurt your feelings, nor will I allow you any longer to upset me. These are my boundaries, live by them, or I will have to ask you to keep your distance until you can respect my wishes.

Sometimes some people need to be told of people’s boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn’t.  Obviously someone has a pebble in her shoe, and I’d say its the cousin.  

Oh and a present of a nice ettiquette book might be a polite gesture, as long as you don’t gloat when you give it to her. :chuckles:

Della, Good for you girl! :hugs: Yes, moral support does so help getting through these times.  I’d be lost without the internet.  My neighborhood tend to keep to themselves, and so many a time I feel isolated.

I just take things one day at a time. That’s all we all can do. Sometimes some bills have to take presidence over others once in awhile. My best to you! 

Patricia, that’s why I appreciate shows like "What NOT to Wear"! hehe

Sometimes it takes a stranger to point out even when you have lipstick on your teeth.  The wrong cut of clothing, the wrong color fabric, too tight, too loose, sometimes a 3 diamentional mirror is needed, along with the proper lightening in some of those shops…

Elizabeth, I always feel high heels should be a personal choice.  I’m 5’10 1/2" tall. :chuckles: I think at 49, putting me in 3" heels is a bit of an over kill.  Thank goodness they sell a variety of different shoe styles out there that tame that heel issue.  I hate feeling like I’m skiing! :grins:

Remember your balance is mostly in your feet as well. Wearing the wrong shoes, whether high heels or ill fitting is going to make your day longer and your back more weary as well.

I think even treating one’s self to a pedicure every once in awhile is good for the spirit and sole’s of your feet. :grins: (insert moan here)

I’m chuckling over here. Obviously I have more of a life then to follow some stranger in their life style to make them even a consideration of a role model. 

We’re all human, we all make mistakes.  A role model should be yourself living the best that you can, treating others like you wish to be, and holding close and dear compassion, faith and private praise in yourself that you have made the difference, no matter how small in anyone’s life that you touch or have contact with.

Sorry, but the media taking pictures of a stranger and no matter how much they are dressed up and primped, does not make a role model, otherwise I would say Barbie would be top on the list. :grins:

What next?  Rock Em Sock Em Ken doll with a bruised Barbie?

To me a role model is someone who invests in their time to better their community.  Not to sell or promote a product, but actually makes a difference in their hometown, and those around them for the betterment of all.

Want to brighten a stranger’s day?  Have money to blow?  Go into a nursing home, or a retirement home staffed with you with a bunch of cosmetologists once a month to give those people pedicures and manicures, and allow them back some dignity while their own families just leave them there with health care to enjoy their own personal lives and live off the finances they some how were able to get their hands on that once were their parents.

When my father died, my mother thankfully was allowed to stay in her own home to live out her days peacefully.  Finally her health took a turn and she had to go to the hospital (not even a week later, she passed on in her sleep while there.).   I give thanks to the Standish Hospital in Michigan who did all that they could to revive her, but it was her time.

Not all hospitals are staffed properly to care for so many, but every once in awhile, you do find a good one.  For those, I salute your dedication and compassion.

The public only sees what the Media shows us about these people.  Not their total private life, their private family, friends, etc.  Thank god.  Give those poor people some dignity and privacy they deserve.  Bad enough they have crazy hours they have to be on the set to make a movie, or they have to leave their family to promote a film.  But my god, how would you, the normal joe want to have media right outside your window 24/7?  ::shakes head::

Role Model?  Keep it real!

In my first marriage I went out and tried to find work to get us off assistance because I had wanted more out of life than my husband at the time did.  He was used to his parents basically getting things for him when I met him. (silver spoon fed until he married)

My second marriage - My husband and I now met at college by accident while I was recovering from a nasty divorce.  I was trying to get back on my feet, working and also going to college full time and on a workstudy on top of that only getting to see my 2 sons on weekends.  My husband now was working two jobs and going to college as well. 

We dated two years, been through our fair share of ups and downs.  After college there was a point when the company he worked for 11 yrs ended up having to let him go and he was devistated, so I went back to work until he was able to get back on his feet.  We’ve always been supportive of one another.  It wasn’t a matter of who made more money, it was a matter of our family was most important to us as a whole.  The money we made was the ‘family’ money.  It paid the bills, it gave us small luxuries, it gave us a home at the time (before we lost it from the job that had made cut backs at the time).  

But a home is anywhere the family is.  So we’re renting now, trying to recover from past medical bills and other bill collectors that we tried to take care of while looking for work. (Never ending it seems, though we try)

Best thing is to take pride in one another.  Not about who makes more, but that you are each other’s best friend.

My husband is back working again, so I’m at home when our sons need us. (they are special needs)  We’ve been together 16 yrs and married 14.  Age difference, financial differences of who makes what doesn’t matter to us.  The quality that is there is our shared moral and family beliefs that keep us strong.

In the end, that’s all that matters.

My god, Obama just got into office in January and this mess with AIG has been going on how long?  http://www.answers.com/topic/american-international-group-inc

Do the math, check the stock charts, what about the previous administration, congress included.  Why weren’t they doing their homework?  I mean, I’m just your normal citizen and I found this information on my own, what about the people who handed over the money to bail them out before this new administration?

Why aren’t they also being held accountable? Were they stock holders as well secretly?  I’m very curious.  I’m sure others are as well.

Let’s start cleaning up Capital Hill starting in Congress!  I smell something fishy, and it isn’t the new people in offices….

AIG to start Make over, changes sign at NY office? That was Reuters on 3/22/09

http://www.quote.com/news/story.action?id=COM9032200000000J8

More on it from today 3/24/09

http://www.quote.com/news/story.action?id=PRW083k9000

I love how they call their bonus’s Retention Awards?

More places to keep in the know…. http://www.prweb.com/

Was watching Inside Edition tonight, and AIG took down their name on their building because they were getting death threats?

I don’t know about that, but it stands more believable that they are trying to make a quieter better image of their tarnished one by changing their name from AIG to AIU? 

U standing for Underwriters?  Changing their name is not going to help their image any.  Pretty soon they will be known as IOU. 

How is it they have the money to change their name, hire someone to take down their name, but not bail out the people who’s lives they’ve destroyed?

And they were under the law to pay out the bonus’s?  Excuse me? What about the law that protects the consumer from crooks like these?

What next?

AIG’s FiNANCIAL REPORT:

http://ir.aigcorporate.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=76115&p=irol-financialreports

 AIG to FORM AIU Holdings, Inc., a Global Property Casualty Holding Company for its General Insurance Businesses:

this will come up as a PDF form when you click on it, but you can read all about AIG to AIU here in the second paragraph. 

Seriously though, changing the name of a company?  People still are going to know where to find the information on them no matter what name they call themselves.  Why is it they can afford to change their name, but they can’t afford to give people back what they took from them?

I am sorry. They saw this coming.  From special trips to spas, to bonus’s, to changing their names, how about to restitution?

I get the feeling as well that if you look into your husband’s cache directory or history of his computer you’re probably going to bring up internet porn of sorts.  Sounds like he has found some interesting pictures out there and now wants you to live them out for his fantasy.

Seriously the two of you should sit and talk honestly about it.

Secondly, is there a fantasy you would like to see him do for you? (we call our romantic books "soft porn").

Maybe the two of you need to get a special get away for a couple hours away from your home.  Maybe plan something special once a month just for you two to live out a fantasy.  One for him, one for you. 

Its a consideration.  I think its during a time where there is stress from work, from home, and you both need a special time away from it all.

Good luck.

You can also contact your email provider and inform them of an ongoing stalker and ask that his IP address be blocked as well and see what they can do for you.  Otherwise, I’d suggest you get a new email address for only your family to contact you at, and get a different one for friends.  leave your old one for junk email.  And like all junk email IGNORE it.

Good luck.

Wishing Nancy all the best and a speedy recovery. I fell two weeks before spring last year (set me back 7,000$ in physical recovery, which I’m still paying on), and was a nightmare to finally get to the point I could walk without pain and suffering from the injuries I endured.

Thankfully she doesn’t have to worry about medical costs, but pain and suffering to any person does still touch my heart and I wouldn’t wish it on any person. 

Best Wishes.