Candice if I could only exercise I’d be grateful.  When I was able to I walked 3 to 4 miles a day and took a tape recorder with me.  When something would trigger a memory or a poem I’d be able to record it and when I’d get home I’d write it down.

Maybe they’ll come up with a way for people with spinal damage to get back to some sort of normalcy and be able to return to some of their old routines.  For now swimming has taken the place of walking but you can’t take a tape recorder in the pool., lol :)

Liz like you I have to write down things at all hours of the day or nite.  I’ve about 20 journals, three are active at this time, one in the bedroom, one I take with me whenever I go out, and one in an unusual place, the Throne Room, with my illness I spend a lot of time in there, and some of the best poems, thoughts, songs I’ve written were while was sick, it helps to ease the pain, and relax me, and thus helps me get over being sick for the moment.

Frannie the woman who wrote saying I was selfish may not be a mother or never put in the postion to have to chose. If my doctors said I would have to deliver early, I would have pushed to let him remain warm and safe within me as long as possible.  If my son had to be born early I would have done it if they could promise me he was 100% okay then I’d have delivered him early. But I had good doctors and my toddler was a very happy little girl and loved spending time with her Nanna and PaPa (daddy was overseas in Afganastan so he wasn’t there).

Your right we just have to do what we have to do, and if someone else doesn’t agree that’s their problem, when we become mothers we have to change our mind set from US to THEM, we have to keep ourselves healthy so that we can provided our children with the proper life they deserve.

Frannie I’ve a sister who had 5 abortions and now she is in her 50’s, unmarried (never been married), no children and living with a married man. 

I could not see myself in her shoes for all the tea in china.  Being a mother is the best job/life decision I ever had.  Even now when one of them gets a promotion, buys their fist home or about to make me a Nanna I well up with pride in all that they have accomplished.

My carring my son was an act of love not a selfish gesture like I’ve been told by one on this site.

It’s not so much I wanted a baby, I was having one.  Being pregnant changes the way you feel about the world, you life, and that little soul growing inside of you.  I already had a daughter and when we found out we were thrilled.  I was 5 months pregnant and that would be murder in my heart and mind.  Staying in bed and following doctors orders was the right thing for my child and me.  I did everything the doctors told me to. 

The military doctors were the ones who wanted me to abort my son, the civilian doctors told me that my life was not in a jeopardy, and they took bioscopies every few weeks to get tabs on the spreading of the cancer.

It wasn’t selfish, it was love for my son that made me realize there was no other option. this world would be a sorry place for many people if he’d not been born, if you want a list of the couple hundred I’ll be happy to provide it.   If the civilian doctors told me it was necessary to deliver him early I would have delivered him early, but to abort would have been murder.

My kids, my sister lives 5 states away, the only help I can give her is prayer, and being there to talk with her when she’s upset. I talked to her twin this morning and she’s in agreement with me that we have to contact authorities to get her the help she needs not just for my soon to be born neice but her as well.  Last time I saw her she looked like the walking dead, you could see every bone in her body.  I talked to her on Monday and she was clearly stoned, no way you can hide the slured speach.

You have helped and I’m grateful :)

C J first I must say that I alone put me through college, no help from parents, I wanted it and I went for it.  My neice is bipolar and she refuses to take the meds.  When I was in my second month of chemo in 05 and she was mad at her mother, she picked up a chair and threw it at me and hit me in the head.  I had her arrested and in the course of the police talking with her she said she’d kill herself before she’d be taken out in handcuffs.  She spent 3 wks in a mental institution.

Her college was paid for through the state of NY for disadvantaged youths.  She was capable of working, she has a degree in the health care field, and I’d run to the ocean to get away from her before I’d let her treat me.

C J, I agree with most of what you’ve said. But I know for a fact that some people have been on welfare for over twenty years until NY state finally put a cap on how long you could be on it.  My younger sister raised her daughter and most of my nephews life on welfare, she’s only been off it for the last 5 yrs.  Her daughter is now 26, and her daughter feels the world owes her and she went to college on the state, to top that off, she graduated from college in 04 and all she does is sit on her quite large butt doing absolutely nothing and her boyfriend is working his tail off because she refuse to get a job.  These are people I’ve witnessed, and they can’t be the only ones out there doing this.

Like you I worked in fast food and retail to put myself through college, and I paid my student loans off in one fell swoop after I got out of the Military and it felt good to know I did it all by myself.

C J as welfare goes when I was 19 I got hit by a car while standing on the sidewalk and had to have two operations before I could walk again, I had to go on welfare because my parents were in no position to help me.  When the lawyers were done I got a check that allowed me to pay off student loans, buy furniture and I found out how much the NY state welfare people had given me over the period of my surgeries and recovery and paid them back every cent.  They told me it wasn’t necessary because that is what they were there for, but morally I felt the right thing to do was to pay back what they gave me.  If for any reason I’d need welfare again I know I’d get the help needed because of the way I"ve handled my finances and life. 

What’s that saying "no good deed goes unnoticed", be it from the agency’s you got help from or the Lord Above.:)

My Kids Rock, first off what a great screen name I feel the same for my two.  I’d give my life for them if it came down to it.

Thank you so much for your kind words, I was flabbergasted when I got that response, If there were a chance between me or my child I would let my child live, he had a dad, grandparents and his big sister.  He would have been in good hands I know that for sure.  A woman’s right to chose is a good thing, but it’s also a way for some women to avoid becoming a parent.  If they don’t want children then they should take precautions so they don’t get pregnant.  And if they truly never want kids like my older sister they should get their tubes tied, that would ensure never getting pregnant.  She had 5 abortion before she was 30 yrs old.  She was the only one who never had kids out of the five of us, her life revolves around her and no one else, I learned a big lesson from her watching her through out school, college (she got kicked out for doing drugs on campus), and I knew I never wanted to be anything like her.

I believe that our children are a gift that we are given, and it’s up to us to ensure they are healthy, happy and educated in all phases of their lives.

I wouldn’t change the decision I made 26 yrs ago for all tea in china.  In fact my daughter is a sleep in my bed right now, she drove for 3 hrs to spend my birthday with me.  She and her brother have made me so proud over the years, and I thank God for them everyday.

May I ask you for some advice?  If you feel you can’t answer the question just let me know.  My 45 yr old sister is 5 months pregnant right now.  She smokes pot, and cigs.  Drinks, and from what I’ve heard she smokes cocaine.  I’m so worried about the state of that baby health and development.  I don’t live in the same state so I only have heard say from my other siblings and they want me to take action, but there is no way I can give accurate information to social services or the police.  Do you have any advice you could give me????

How dare you say what I went through was meaningless.  I carried my child to term and then had the hysterectomy and chemo.  I knew it was my last chance for a child, and at 5 months that little baby growing inside of me was a person, and had as much right to live as you and I, not a bunch of cells, they were living breathing human being, if he’d been born early that would have been totally different, but to insure his health I did what the doctors said and not that of my Commanding Officer. It was a selfless act of love for my baby.  Each person is unique and so are most of their experiences, but if you can take the trials and tribulations of other and use them as a teaching tool, you can help so many others.

The first time I got paid for doing a job was at the ripe old age of 9, I started my own grass cutting business, I would rake in between 10-20 dollars a week, then in the winter I went around with my shovel and cleared the walks for all the older residents in the projects I grew up in but come the next yr I wasn’t just cutting grass, or shovel snow, I was doing window, and taking out trash and going to the store, I never asked for a cent.  They always insisted I take something for my work.  I did this until I was 15, and I still kept doing those jobs but I started babysitting as well.  I was never without money in my pocket and never asked my Mom (she was a single mom of 5) for money ever.  I’d pay my own way to the movies, skating (both ice and roller), I bought my first Barbie. 

I put myself through college and bought my first care myself, I never relied on anyone for financial support, If I couldn’t do it myself then it wasn’t ment to be.  I don’t even have credit cards.  If I can’t buy it with cash then I save to get what I need or want.

 And I continued to work up till the age of 43 when after a horrible car accident on top of my three bouts of cancers I was told I could no longer work. I get stressed and I would have anxiety attacks or panic attacks which would set off my IBS and I’d be in bed or the Throne Room for days on end. Then I developed Breast Cancer in 2004 and I’ve still not bounced back from that. 

I hate not working, I’m so bored, and Lonely at times I just stay in bed.  I read, I’m working on a book of my own, I watch way to much TV, but the only physical activity I do these days is walk the dogs 5-6 times a day, go to the VA Hospital for treatments and appointments.  Without the World Wide Web I’d feel completely out of it.

A lot can be said for working and I truly miss it.

I was ordered to abort my son when I was five months pregnant because I had cancer.  I told them NO, the fear of a dishonorable discharge was a huge issue, but I carried my son to term, he’s 26 now and from the moment I held that little baby I knew in my heart I did the right thing for him and myself.

Abortion should be the choice of every woman, no one has the right to pass judgement against another for the choices they make.  It’s their life, and their right to chose. 

Men can get drugs to help in their abilities to have sex, yet most insurance’s won’t cover birth control, abortion, now does this seem fair.

So a guy can’t have sex, is that a reason for the insurance companies to cover the meds so he can. After all sex is how a woman gets pregnant, and is she doesn’t want children and chooses to use birth control they have to pay for the shots, pills, and implanted device out of pocket.  Now, I must say, not all insurances are the same, some do cover but the majority don’t.

There’s not an Actor or Actress that at one point in their career where they were not employeed.  They don’t fight (some harder then others) to get work.  Once they establish themselves in thier career they have a choice of what they want to do.  But just like every other American they had to work to get where they are.

Personally I think a lot of it has to do with if your raised in a "Sports Minded" family, they go to the games, they watch all the others on Sat., Sun., and Monday nite, be it football or baseball, basketball gets people really crazy. Coming from a household of 4 girls and 1 boy and no father figure on a daily bases we weren’t exposed to sports until we were young adults or through our older silblings (that being me taking my younger siblings to hockey. basketball and football - grew up outside Buffalo).  I played softball in high school and was on the swim team but could have cared less about anyother sports until my Father turned me on to it at 18. 

So from my point of view, it’s where and how you are raised that peeks the sports bug in us.  Just my opinion.

My Dear Sweet Father introduced me to football (Buffalo Bills), he’d been a ticked holder for decades.  On my 18th bday (54 today) he gave me his tickets so I could go to a game as an adult (cold drink beer in thoses days at 18). It was the first game in 20 seasons they beat Miami and the crowd when nuts, they tore down the goal post, ripped up the turf, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.  I introduced foot ball to my younger brother (10 yrs younger then me) when he was 13 and he fell in love with it. Shortly after I joined the Navy and left home, but I continued to watch football up until 1994, my dad promised he wouldn’t leave this earth until the Bills won a Superbowl, he passed away that October, the Bills where in the fourth Superbowl in a row and I refused to watch the game.  Without Dad to share it with even over the phone I couldn’t enjoy the game.  I haven’t watched a game since Oct. 26, 1994.

coffee anyone?????