One thing I find amusing in this day and age is, your reading a really good book and you find time and time again misspelled words, with all the technology these days you’d think they’d catch them before printing and put it out to the public. The book I’m reading now, so far I’ve found over 100 misspelled words, I highlight them, it’s just a thing I do, it drives my daughter nuts when she borrows a book and see’s a word highlighted in pink and yellow throughout it.  lol

My dream has always been to be a published writer.  I’ve had many documents, training manuals, and military publications published but they don’t count.  The only ones who will read them are in the Gov’t or Military.

I’ve had two poems published, but I’d love to have my book published, I’m just praying to God it happens.

My only other dream was to be a Mom and I have two beautiful children who have made me proud over and over again, to that end, now I dream of being a Grandmom someday soon.

OOHHH BABY!!!!!

A R you made the following comment, As it was sent to me as a responce of a comment I made I figured you wanted meant for me to read it:

 it’s that person’s responsibility to compensate the other accordingly. As in your case, I’ve known women who have given 20+ years to a relationship, scarified their own career and prospects for "the family", and then been left with next to nothing when the husband moved on to "greener pastures".

I won’t blast you, but I will say that when I divorced, I didn’t want anything from my ex. I wanted to succeed, and I did! I had to get a student loan, go back to school, and work (of course), but I knew I could do it without a penny from him. My daughter never wanted for anything—we made it without him! Want to sever ties with that ex for real, walk away and don’t ask for a penny.

I will also say that if a woman in this day and age chooses to build nothing for herself as a human, she may want to rethink it. Death, spousal disability, sickness and other accidents can put the same stress on a woman as a divorce. I think we owe it to ourselves to make ourselves skilled and marketable. You never know when you’ll need to use it!

The bold text above is what I was refering to and making comments to.

I find Miss Whoopi to be one of the most caring, loving, funny, and honest people I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing.  From her Stand Up Comedy, the View, MOVIES (I love her movies, all of them, Even the Color Purple), She’s made me Cry, Laugh, and get Mad.  She throws no punches and she gives lots of hugs.

Everyone has an idol they’d like to meet, Whoopi is mine, were born the same month, same yr and in the same state.  I’d love to just spend a wkend with her during the Fall, sitting outside drinking Tea and enjoying the beauty of God’s earth.

Funny but true story:  Whoopi has a character, a little girl who puts a sweat shirt on her head because she wants long hair like the little white girl.  My daughter and her friend were watching this on HBO and the next thing I knew my daughters long hair was super glued to her friends head.  Now the friend was a little African American girl, and my daughter is of English/Slavic decent w/ black hair, but they didn’t care.  My daughters hair took about 3 months to get it looking good, but her friend had to get her poor little head shaved totally.  They learned their lesson and to this day the four of us can laugh about it.

Whoopi If you get to read this know you’ve got a retired/disabled Vet in NC who is thankful to God and your Mother that you are here with us in this world. :)

A R   I had this really long message to send and I said forget it.  I earn what I get from my x, I’ve got two college degrees. a ton of certifications for various software and am intelligent enough, just not able enough to work.  Do you really think I like sitting at home all day every day, it’s so damn boring, my hobbies are only good for so long and then you get sick of them., and TV can’t watch that 24/7. there’s a saying among Marine Wives "THE ONLY THING HARDER THEN BEING A MARINE IS BEING MARRED TO ONE." and that’s no lie, but all military wives do things the every day civilian wife doesn’t even think about. And to this day I’ve never met a military family who could survive on his income alone.  I was a Sailor, I was in the Navy, but I also worked for sears on  wkends and at Christmas for extra money.  my x got what he had coming to  him, and as far as I’m concerned I EARNED half his pension.

Rachel what you just described is exactly what happened to me.  I only stayed married to him until the children were done with high school (well son almost), if it hadn’t been for all the yrs I was married to the sob, I’d have no help w/  finances and be forced to go on welfare.  But the military doesn’t look kindly on their marines cheating on their spouses, especially after so many yrs, he lost 1/2 of his pension for the rest of his life, and if he should go before me, I will continue to get his pension because I insisted he have to pay into the insurance program they have for just that reason.  Now I have my VA benefits, 1/2 his pension and occasionally I get something published I write and that’s just candy money for me :)  I worked two jobs sometimes and sold Avon and Mary Kay to help with money, he never seemed to grasp the idea that his income was for the family not just him.  More then once I’d have to go to his C.O. show him my bank statements and tell them he wasn’t kicking in to support the family.  We used my VA Loan for the house so when it went into foreclosure I lost my chance for another VA loan, so I’ll never be able to buy another house.  But he got to keep his VA loan, but sadly because he has to give me half his pension no one will give him a loan.  He was a DRUNK, and when he got sober the Marine Corp sent him to school to be a Drug and Alcohol counselor (pot calling the kettle black), and when he retired he went to college on his GI bill and got his BA in psychology and now has his own practice.  But he’s such a hypocrite, he talks down to everyone, I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with him anymore.  When our son got married, we were both there, and the guilt he carries is so visible, he paid for whatever us Mom’s couldn’t and that was most of it, seeing how we were both single moms cos of jerks like him.  that was 5 yrs ago and I’ve not seen him once in all that time.  I did have to call him when our daughter had emergency surgery, but I only did that because she begged me to.

Yep I lost my car, house, income for a while and was forced to move back home (buffalo) and that was a huge mistake, but I rectified that and things are going smooth right now and I’m not looking for any bumps in the road for a long time to come :)

Rachel the same thing happened to me, that is why I’m so touchy about adultery, not only did my marriage end  (that I had no idea was in trouble), I lost my home, they repoded my car and my son who was 17 and a senior in high school  at the time were homeless and I had just been declared 100% disabled and unable to work.  I resigned my job not knowing that a few wks later I’d lose everything I’d worked for 24 yrs w/ my husband.

I bounced back and got over it, I’ll  never be able to buy another home because it was foreclosed on and I lost my VA loan because of it.  One lucky thing for me was both my children were fully grown and they knew they had me for whatever they needed.  They talk to him on bday’s and Christmas and he’s lucky they do that, they’ve never forgiven him, were I could care less what happens to him, he made his bed and he can lay in it.

So I pray that little girl has someone in her life (grandparents, dad) to ensure she grows up normal and healthy. The children are hurt during divorces and many people don’t see that.  For yrs I blamed myself when my parents divorced, I was in my late teens when I realized the divorce had nothing to do with me, but they used me to hurt each other. 

People should have to get a license to have children, or maybe be  legally bound to stay together until the child is grown, you can’t create a life and then not put that life before yourself, it’s just not right.

That may sound silly to some, but I  know first hand as a child and as a wife who was hurt by a cheater. Divorce affects everyone involved with anybody related to or associated with the couple.

Rachel, I apologize for not making myself clear, this is a very touchy subject with me.  I was referring to the man she was cheating with not the baby daddy, he was in the same boat as many women find themselves, and I can relate to him, on trying to save the marriage and counseling, and it just not working cos the other party didn’t want it to work.

I apologize, the woman and her lover are the cheats and their the ones who broke up a home and left a child in the middle. 

Letter #1—-They both got what they had coming to them.  The only one I feel bad for is the little girl.  Both parents should be ashamed of themselves for breaking their vows and then being mad at the other for something they themselves did.  "Thou shall Not Commit ADULTRY", very strong words to live by.  I wonder how many people where hurt by their selfish acts.

Letter #2—-Your mother is proud of who you are and what you want for your life, she will always be with you.  She’s a part of you in all that matters.  My mom passed a few yrs ago, but I still talk to her, it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t answer, I know in my heart of heart she hears me, and it gives me comfort to talk to her.  Keep your Eyes to the Sky, your heart open, and never forget that a Mother’s love is forever.