It seems to me that a sudden, unexpected death inevitably creates a greater sense of loss than when death follows a protracted illness.  Survivors of unexpected loss must experience far more "loose ends" and coulda-woulda-shoulda regrets than those felt by those who survive the loss of a loved one from a long term illness.  This is certainly not to diminish either form of loss, just a recognition of the difference.  

Even after the loss of my wife to ALS, I still felt survivor’s guilt, which I wrote about in an article on Living in Light of Dying ( http://www.livinginlightofdying.com/content/survivors-guilt-healing ).  The difference wasn’t that I wanted to die, but rather that I felt it should have been me, not her, to leave early.  She was so much more deserving of a longer life than me.

What I tend to ignore is that I am always living in light of dying and take far too many of life’s experiences for granted.  I need to celebrate the joys and accept the sorrows of life for it is only through embracing both that I can experience the full richness of life.