Dear President Bush, Senators, and Congresspeople, I remember some of you before you went to Washington - you seemed to be nice people then. Now, some of us kids are learning things from you that aren’t nice cuz I can tell when those kids are bad. I know this because most everything my Mamma, Daddy, and my Aunt Jessie have told me not to do, you do it. My Grandpa told me and my baby brother that we should always share, and take care of our old neighbors, and the ones who are hurting and hungry. Grandma told both of us never to hit or hurt each other but you do it now. They made pictures for me to remember and those are on my bedroom wall. But, you aren’t doing those things. So, I am afraid now. My teachers are worried and I hear them talking about the other little children who they try to help and I try too but I can’t do very much. My Mamma can’t get her toothache fixed either and that worries me and I dream about it. You were supposed to do what we all wanted - my Daddy said that at our picnic last week and I think I remember it too but nothing we want is happening. My Grandma’s sister died in a big storm in New Orleans because no one came to get her. We don’t know where she is either but someone told my Grandma she was in heaven. That is very bad of you and it wasn’t nice. Everyone in the world is the same, some are good or bad but if they hurt they aren’t always so good but we still love them, and I want them to be loved but you have to do your job, too, and behave. Daddy said you will be like pulling teeth but I hope not - just be nice people again and stop taking our money for our food and my school books, too.

It seems that many women, people in general perhaps, choose to be “nice,” and considerate, and not make any one angry. Our government’s been abusing us, corporations do the same, and we abuse each other, and with our financial situation in America right now literally siphoning off our savings, income, assets, and plans for our lives, everyone still tries to “be nice” but in the process women like Spitzer’s wife remind so many women of themselves, they can only lash back at her — it’s not that unusual but the dynamic is difficult for most people to grasp, if they have the time and money to “fix it.”

Joan, health insurance is a critical issue for so many people now, and Friday’s CMS across the board cuts have thousands quaking in their ‘boots.’ Most people don’t know there is often health insurance options in association memberships, many Chambers of Commerce carry a group for the chamber members, etc., and it’s critically important to check with every group, if health insurance is needed — but always check out the company and “plan” with the state’s insurance commission before paying for anything. One of my mentees just took a “job” learning to sell insurance (!!) via OJT a few hours a week, simply to access their group insurance option. Great idea. I’m surprised more churches and alumni associations don’t form their own health insurance groups to benefit their members, and attract new ones. ;-)

In a corporate/government environment, there’s little humanity involved so it’s best to always keep another job in one’s back-pocket, and the greatest mentors one can find. I’ve had to hire and fire, but the first time dismissing someone tore me up until I personally ‘caught’ the person doing just what was suspected (a professional, no less). However, knowing how important work is to self-actualization, hiring and “firing” had to be judiciously carried out — time-consuming yes, but I’d been on both ends of that ship, in rough seas, and calm. Not nice. In most instances, it seemed to me that people were often in the wrong “slot,” so I’d try to offer them another “job” — most times a completely different position. I well-remember watching my own executive assistant and our bookkeeper destroy their jobs, and one another, until I forced each one to sit down with me, and discuss how, where, when, and if they wanted to work. Ultimately, I had them switch jobs! They were sublimely happy after that…it wasn’t the first time I did such exchanges. In fact, I also started job-sharing in 1975 when an employee simply needed more flexible time to deal with multiple responsibilities most women have…so I suggested she find someone to fill the hours she wouldn’t be “out there at the desk” but she would be the primary employee, with benefits, and as long as I didn’t notice who was at the desk, it was her role to maintain the position. Within 2 years, the DOL came in to perform a desk-study, having “heard what you’re doing…” Believe it or not, in 7 such positions, we were getting over 143% from each “desk.” Most of the time, IMHO, when competent women are dismissed, or harassed, there’s always a male with low self esteem somewhere “up there.” Women, depending on their geographic location, or origins, are still loath to protect themselves with such realities of life. We must strive for equity, not equality, because men and women are not equal/the same. Yes, I’ve been terminated, literally — with a large brood, being laid-off or ‘terminated,’ is termination. I soon learned to see the potential pitfalls before I was hired, and most often had to caution a potential employer they were wasting their money, and my abilities on the “job-slot,” and about 50% of the time, I ‘won.’ It wasn’t long in my adult-womanhood before I realized I had to free-lance, or crack-up under the time-constraints, games, and challenging intriciacies that being an employee demanded, or not. Of course, I was straddling the era where women were totally slave labor, should not have children, and if they did, were asked if we were “on the Pill.” Yes, I’d ask the same question right back, because I didn’t want a “boss” who may become an expectant father, and leave me with all the work.

LOL … frankly, my knee-jerk reaction to this most challenging question (based on cars!) was they would all meet, first, and “agree on a strategy.”

Meg, upon what learning, or experience do you base your most generous stance to step down after 10 years? It’s ‘nice,’ but it seems one might be learning, and adapting to advances in business/technology along one’s career path. Just wondering how you view your rationale…

BTW, Whoppi, you did it again, in your own self-effacing manner - HA!

Good gravy, I wish we would follow our Constitution, et al — it’s been marginalized, diminished, and ignored the past 7+ years (but we let it happen!), and leave religion out of this mess. I don’t care what any one does in their church, or bedroom (interesting exceptions), as long as they do the job we’re paying them to do, and they maintain the standard of ethical conduct under which they serve. Right now, Obama is not doing that, nor is McCain, and Hilary concerns me, at best. Frankly, this mess smacks of deliberate fire-building (not firebraking!). One of this nation’s serious problems is lack of education, and exposure to diversity, but until people begin to read, and learn, we’re going to be increasingly faced with just this time of diversion, intended or not. Right now, our candidates are all elected, we’re paying their salaries to do a specific job representing us, and not one of them is doing that job…check out their attendance and voting records; they’re misappropriating tax dollars, and should be forced to stop, and start working as senators—Hilary is the only one with any track record in that regard. Frankly, they should step down if they are running for any office, because they cannot do the job they contracted with America to do, and they should not be recipients of the “golden parachute.” McCain’s trip to the Middle East, and side trips, have been a travesty, and should have been stopped before he got away. Obama acts his shoe size. He is either naive, or clever…either way, that does not presidential material make. We turned our heads on #43’s actions, and look where we are today. Concerns about Obama’s church surfaced as soon as he announced his candidacy; wisdom would have led him to check things out — for example, way back in time, when he first announced, somewhere on that church’s website it indicated it was for black American only — I for one, thought if any other candidate even belonged to one-race-only-allowed country club they’d be brought before the Senate ethics committee, and like a fool, thought that would be resolved. Wrong. On the other hand, few people understand culture, which isn’t limited to color, religious, political, or gender groups; it’s endemic in families, homogenous groups, and lineages. People may live on the same street, attend the same church, be the same race, religion, political persuasion, but once their home is entered, culture is evident — each home is different. I learned that about 12 years of age, with my highly diverse private girls’ school chums, and have always been grateful for that lesson. In that vein, many people (who are not black) frequently question the highly spirited services, and often very loud choruses, and singing in some black churches—such choruses have been internationally featured—but not understood by more “timid” worshippers. As a young woman, having visited friends churches (one of my dearest friends was a highly regarded black Episcopal priest), I asked him, other blacks, and a well-known psychologist professor of mine about that “difference.” The answers made perfect sense to me, whether they are correct or not, and included, for many blacks it’s a Gestalt, they’re carrying suffereing, isolation, and generations of ostracism in their daily lives, and the church is a supportive community where they may feel free and safe. At the time of 9-11, the nation was in shock, yet many people felt or said the same as Obama’s pastor. Our nation has replaced personal “worship” with corporate form-building, and excess proliferates, and rules. Such beliefs are still coming out as this Adminsitration has skewed the whole tragedy, including our erstwhile Republican candiate from NY. However, back to Obama, he was obligated, by his role as a public servant, to keep tabs on associations, and groups to which his family and he belonged. Americans who know better believe he either had to know, and is lying, or believes he’s immune to being judged by his actions, and associations. There is no way Obama didn’t know the mind-set and negative fervor that came our of Wright’s sermons, especially since he could easily review the videos for the services he missed. As a professional who had to maintain and protect the public trust for years. Great Scott, we’re talking about 20 years or so. Anyone who professess he wants to be president of the United States better prove he’s more observatant than he’s admitted. His speech was far from grand, not even great — he distanced himself from ethical responsibility of a public servant, and that is not good, even for a U.S. Senator (that doesn’t lessen the seriousness of the problems with the McCain candidacy). Any one in public service may not permitted their life to become tainted by associations; that’s just part and parcel of one’s ethical conduct — that is the real crux of his credibility problems, added to the fact that he’s climed to “success” like he was shot out of a cannon, yet has no experience to validate his goals - indeed, one day he may, but not yet. This is all far too premature that the young Senator—he needs to be “Senating.” That’s my opinion, and I will be most willing to listen to others. Free speech means each person has a right to contribute. ;-))

Had I not divorced, we’d be married 46 years, now, but as challenging as our life with him could be, I never thought of cheating - I was ‘invited’ to wander but my self-esteem is in place in that regard. Besides, if I was having problems with one man, why try for two? He took every shred of energy available.

The media is still raping women, left and right. Ever sit through one whome segment of that cable show with the man and woman who give a woman $5K to go out and replace herself to their liking? Its abuse, pure and simple, plus their choices aren’t too swift either - look at their attire. Watch it once, if you can stand it, then save up your anger for the commentaries at the “internal awards” shows on TV. Over and over again, and we’re letting it happen. Hit the sponsors with your letters - that’ll slow things down, eventually. Merely broading this discussion evidences “where” we still are …

Such on-the-ball women! My only assurance is that I remember a lot more than many on this site, and wonder when every one will catch up with the facts on our history. Cars? Never give them much thought, but I’ve thought a lot about the tragic choice of candidates this go’around; must be a reason—nothing could randomly be this weak for America. The real candidate must stand up, soon. Yes, the Toyota group is interesting, so perhaps Obama would be a Lexus, same vehicle as the rest but with a heap more insulation to keep out the noise. Hilary, the Camry LE with a sun-roof for greater access to her public, and family fun. McCain is still looking for his Corolla—left somewhere in the Middle East, maybe with the Suni, or was it the Shia…

Ever notice Obama’s phallic finger wagging at us? Its something many men try to avoid doing, like a gentleman never stands with his hands in his pockets, and takes off his hat in a public building or a home. There are some aspects of social behaviour that tell a great deal about a person, but dishonesty is really covert. Only the finest body-language movements give us a bit of a warning, and then we can’t apply them consistently. What has happened to individual self-esteem?

Liars bother me because I don’t have the ability to remember what I’ve said long enough to do a good job it lying. OTOH, I love storytellers - they’re fabulous, and I sink in and absorb every syllable they utter. Now, for the most part, I don’t pay much attention to what people say, only how they trip themselves up, and begin to repeat their protestations, then I notice, and start connecting the dots. Otherwise, I take people at face value, and let them “go.” It’s far more comfortable to live like this, enjoying others. That being said, I don’t believe anyone who’s acquired or is trying to acquire a golden parachute on my tax bill. They have an agenda, and not one of those elected for the past few decades has been a true guardian of our nation, or Consitution, and I can’t think of one who know enough history, or con law to function in elected office. The fish rot from the head down. Cherokee Rose, I guess we’ve all been lying to ourselves.

and, let’s get real here, “Dr. Phil” isn’t licensed. But we knew he couldn’t be when he blatantly violated HIPAA over and over again. Yet, we all stand by and let him shrink brains, and psyches, with his woman by his side (notice she is chatting to him as they exit, but he rarely speaks to her) for image. Isn’t there something wrong with the images? And, we’re fretting about race in America! It’s another game put upon us, and we’re biting.

The same reason that GW got into the White House - unmittigated gall - and we let it happen because somehow women still perceive themselves as needing to be “lady-like” but that’s just a sick ego expressing sick inputs. We populate the earth, good gravy, and, well, read Nikki Giovanni, aloud, pacing, and you’ll end up sceaming her words as you pace…you will then be free, and won’t let any jerk walk on you, or anyone else perceived to be less, ever again. This has got to stop.