What do I think about a one-term presidency? I think it’s a stupid question. After four years I’ll be able to say whether or not to vote him back in.

Right now asking the question is just a way for conservatives to feel better about the long road ahead. Liberals said the same thing when Bush started.

Hmn. I seem to be the only one here who is glad mammograms don’t need to be so frequent or early. Have you ever gotten a mammogram? It’s quite unpleasant.

Has anyone bothered to read the reasoning behind the new guidelines? It’s partly due to unnecessary injuries to otherwise healthy younger women. 

In my case, my first mammogram resulted in injury. So they had me get it ‘redone,’ which hurt more than the first time. The spot where I was pinched still hurts now two years later. And because of the inconclusive ‘result’ of my very first mammogram, I’m advised to get them frequently to keep an eye on it. 

It’ll be many years before I hit 50 and no one in my family ever had breast cancer. 

So wax on about Obama and stupid studies all you want. It’s so much air in the ether and has no bearing on reality. Fewer unecessary mammograms mean more money for those who really needs it.

In my opinion, that’s what healthcare reform is all about. End the waste, and cover everyone. Healthcare is a human right.

Wow, do we have the same mother? Sounds like a missed opportunity. Are you punishing them for feeling hurt? Stand up and call your mom. Tell her you care and always will. Tell her you don’t mind if she calls. Tell her family is important. Tell her she doesn’t need to feel bad. Then get off the phone as fast as you can so she can have time alone to take it in.

Don’t tell her you will or won’t return calls. Don’t tell her she’s being overdramatic. Don’t criticize her at all. I tried this with my mom and she turned into a different person after that; at least with me.

Letter #2  Just because Mom says, doesn’t mean you have to do. Once you cut the apron strings, you don’t have to take her advice.

I was lucky to have a design career because every single thing I created was sent out to be evaluated and criticized by a team of people without me there to defend it. I was forced to get used to sometimes-rediculous criticism.

Now I’m a different daughter to my mother. She had her thumb on me growing up. I did whatever she said, and if I didn’t she argued and even yelled until I did. A four hour argument complete with tears was common. My sister would just agree with her but then run out the door to do whatever she wanted.

Now when my Mom says, "you should do this, you should do that" I say, "Thank you for the advice." One day not long ago she told me what to do and then said, "Well, why aren’t you doing what I said?" And I replied, "I appreciate your advice Mama, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take it. I have other things to consider." She was nonplussed, shocked even. Lucky for me she still gives me advice, because half the time it’s very useful.

My sister hasn’t reached that mental state. She seems to have gone the other direction. Even the most innocuous comments she mistconstrues into criticism. She has become progressively more depressed and stopped calling her entire family. We’re sad about it because she lives in another state and we all miss her kids. We miss her, too, but she’s always angry. 

For a while I tried to keep in touch, to listen to whatever she was pissed about. But every conversation would turn. She would be offended by something I said because of what it ‘implied.’ No matter how much I said, "I didn’t mean that and I don’t think that and it hurts to hear you say that I would want to hurt you." She just got more angry until she hung up on me. I would wait a month and try again, but it’s been years now and it’s only gotten worse. Last time we talked she said she was angry at her parents for not teaching her how to handle life. But they did. She just wasn’t listening. 

LOL, Woodsy, you are silly. Thanks for the humor.

It seems letter writer #1 has lots of love and lots of ways to show it. She should use that to guide her man. Withhold it when he’s bad, give it when he’s good. It’s inexplicably difficult to be cold and mean to a bad spouse when you just want love, but in the long run it’ll help make that dream come true.

#2 needs to realize that Dad has problems with the marriage that aren’t OK to discuss with their kids. What if it’s about a dalliance? What if he’s a cross dresser and his wife doesn’t like it? My point is only that he’s silent because he thinks it’s all unseemly and embarassing. Some moms (mine is one) ‘leave that part out’ when they talk to their children, sometimes on hopes the kids will take sides and justify mom’s feelings. Men are somewhat less likely to go there. Also men sometimes feel worse when talking, whereas women often feel better. So asking him to talk could be painful for him for any number of reasons. You have my sympathy. A child needs their parents to communicate and show love. And right now the dad is so hurt he just can’t.

We think we can’t make it on our own. We think it will be harder than what we deal with now. We are so tired we don’t have the strength. We are so hurt we can’t think straight. So while it may look completely obvious to outsiders, the road out is far harder than anyone wants to give credit for.

When you usually tell people the wonderful things your partner does, everyone says you are crazy when you complain. When you tell people the horrible things, everyone says, "Get out. What’s taking you so long?"

Even when I talk to married people long enough, they eventually complain about abuse. Even the happy ones mention something most people consider a deal-breaker. My happiest friend once confided, "I have to do all the work with the kids, all the driving, I have no time for myself and he’s rarely home." Her eyes then stared at me, silently, sparkling a little more than usual before she changed the topic.

Then there’s my mother, who divorced young, dated a while, and then gave up for 25 years she once described as "a long, deep loneliness." 

The whole thing is just maddening. But the miserable women I’ve talked to who gathered themselves and gave a huge shove to get out on their own seem by far the happiest of them all. For a while, anyway.

Don’t give up on yourself, Letter Writer 1. Good luck and good health!

And you, Ms. Joy, may have confused me with someone who thinks it’s smart to not stand up for yourself. You have clearly not been in this situation. There are ways to get what you want, but trying to come between the boss and his buddy rarely gets you promoted. You can get all emotional and use words like "disgusting, disturbing, offensive, passive, doormats, sniping" etc., but the fact remains the letter writer was between a rock and a hard place. No where did she suggest being a doormat was good. She woulnd’t have written if that were the case.

You might be here to learn as you say, but clearly in this case you are still not enlightened. 

I suggest the writer be clever, get the HR person within earshot and let them handle it. No need to be a jerk, too, like you seem to suggest.

The best idea here is to get HR to overhear the loudmouth. HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. And certainly as a temp you can’t complain to HR.

So use another reason to get them over to your desk. Such a great idea!! IF they overhear the talk on their own, you can BET they’ll nip it in the bud immediamente.

Blame the women, nice, Belinda. I’ve seen both men and women let go when they tried to confront the boss’ buddy. It’s not about avoiding confrontation, as the letter writer stated, because he’s the boss’ buddy.

Be glad you have never been in this situation, because you would have been fired. AND your staffing agency wouldn’t send you out again because you have become a liability.

BRILLIANT!! And try to do it so that the HR person doesn’t know why they are there. Make up another reason to have them come to your desk. Then let ‘nature’ takes its course.

Seriously, this is a great idea!! HR is not on the side of the little people, let’s get this straight. I don’t know why, but people tend to think HR is the complaints department. HR is there to make sure the company is complying with the law, and I don’t mean sexual harassment laws. They have plenty to do and it’s the manager’s job to handle their staff. 

If HR gets involved, it will be to protect management. They will be fired if they don’t. 

If your boss is buddies with a jerk (happens a lot) coworker, then you have no recourse. 

But if you can get HR over on another pretext, they will be sure to handle it as if they were the ones to discover it. So that’s a brilliant genius idea.