Washington Cube

My Comments (353 so far…)

What is your favorite restaurant in the entire world? If you could visit it today, what would you order?

The bar and grill at Musso’s and Franks, Dan Tanas, Dupars for Breakfast-Los Angeles

The Severn Inn in Annapolis. Diners arrive in their private boats, The dock-patio goes out over the Severn River and you can often feel it lap your feet. At twilight you look acros a vast body of river back at the stolid, historic buildings of the Naval Academy.

Nora’s in Washington, as well as Citronelle, Blue Duck Tavern, Komi, Rasika, Brassiere Beck.

South Philadelphia Italian: Dante and Luigi’s, La Famiglia, Monte Carlo.

What Is the Biggest Mistake Most Gardeners Make That They Don't Know They Are Making?

Not doing their homework. Desiring a lilac bush in "that spot right there," and not knowing the light requirements or the gardening zone requirements or the soil requirements, or the pests and diseases the plant is susceptible to. All they know is "pretty, flowers." Takes a lot more than that to bring a plant into your world and survive and be in harmony.

Remembering Coco Chanel (Photos)

There was a magazine in the 1960’s…McCall’s? One of them. And every issue had Chanel’s maxims in the pages, "Don’t over accessorize," "take the one extra thing off," "buttons should not be decorative but functional." I sucked it all up like it was the holy grail. Is there anyone around these days to lay down the laws of fashion for us? I remember finding back issues of Vogue and Bazaar on dusty shelves in the Smithsonian and reading Diana Vreeland’s "Why Don’t You’s…." as well. Have your black scottie dogs wear bright yellow colors and leashes." "Have nanny wash your children’s hair in flat champagne like they do in France." A lot of her things were built off her wonderful imagination and visual sense." I wish someone was writing a socially amusing "You Should" column these days. Could be a nice tool, as well, to attack those offenders commenting "You Shouldn’t’s" at the same time. Some Millicent Rogers girl with a unique sense of style. Someone with a fashion vision. Someone like…Angelica Huston.

Heart-Break, by Sheila Nevins

Snooks: My parents had something like that. My father took up some traveling consulting work immediately after retiring, and Mom always went with him and they would come home always talking about their one or two day excursions and happy about them. Something to be envied. It’s terrible to think of having to finding a way to remain functional in life after all of that love is taken away from you.

Heart-Break, by Sheila Nevins

Desiree: A lot of men think just disappearing and silence is the way out of things, and it is cowardly. I was thinking about this yesterday how it is always better, no matter what painful thing has to be said, to physically meet with the person and say it, rather than leave them in that horrible sealed off limbo of "why?" And "yes," I’ve been that broken myself. You’re put back together, but you may still see the cracks. To me they’re a badge of honor in surviving it.

Heart-Break, by Sheila Nevins

Absolutely old faithfuls. We don’t expect those animalistic sounds to issue from us anymore. Aren’t we civilized? But they are right there, below the surface. When my mother was dying, my father curled up in a fetal ball and sobbed for days. He never did get over it.

Dear Margo: Saying Good-bye

On the roof? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a racoon on the roof, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Your life sounds like mine. We had a storm a week ago that brought down huge oak limbs in my yard. Some took out a portion of fence panel, but the boards weren’t broken so I can nail back, but clearing up that wood was….."fun," and then I found a dead squirrel among the branches, so also having squirrel funerals around here, R.I.P. Peanut.

Dear Margo: Saying Good-bye

Not a twin, he’s a few years older, and "Carbon" was my friend who made the comment a few years ago that she wasn’t a rough diamond, but carbon. As you can see Friend Carbon comes up with some witty banter.

Dear Margo: Saying Good-bye

Glenna: This was such the right thing to do. At my father’s death, we discovered a tie he loved wearing (my mother’s Scottish clan plaid,) had some tiny moth holes in it. I still chose that one and made sure the suit lapels covered the problem. I knew he’d want to be in that tie, joining his bride. I think it is so tender and sweet you buried him in his "Sunday suit." I’ve known so many men like him. Ya done good.

Dear Margo: Saying Good-bye

You are right in her being the only one. What else would we say but, "Margo. You are right." Obviously we expound with our own experiences. If the women writing these pieces didn’t want feedback, there is always the option to shut comments off. And oh yeah, "Atta girl."

Heart-Break, by Sheila Nevins

I’ve known several "old faithful" couples that die closely to each other…very close. It gives you pause. I think sometimes we believe we understand it all, but when it comes to the heart, things can get very shadowy and deep. I love that he had that painting over the fireplace, and I think it’s wonderful that the painting was burned and buried with him. It seems appropriate, doesn’t it?

Liz Smith: Michael Jackson's Bestselling Death

I’ve heard stories about him, as well, Daniela. The only reason I mentioned the book was because of John Water’s funny comment about clearing seats around you on an airplane. I think reading a thick book called "Hitler" might do the trick, too.

Dear Margo: Saying Good-bye

The funny thing, Heidi, is most of his girlfriends were very nice girls/ladies. How he got hooked up with this one is a mystery, but I think part of it (I hate to say) was my mother was facing a serious illness (and death,) and it was some form of escapism from the responsibility of "that." At least that’s what my mother’s sisters told me. What I found puzzling was she had three dead husbands, and she wasn’t that old. There was just something a tad skeevy about that. I was talking "Carbon" this morning, telling him I had written out the story, and he said he was always worried someone in that house would go to do laundry and be a bit tired and reach for the urn instead of the detergent and next thing you know, Harry is in your clothes or on spin dry.

What Is Your No. 1 Gardening Tip?

My mother always said, "You cannot be a true gardener unless you are out there every day checking on things—even if it is just to pick up sticks." Gardening is hard work: hoisting around tons of dirt, mulch, stonework, heavy plants, chopping roots. You can nurse plants along, have a drought, and it’s all wiped out. You don’t give up.

Heart-Break, by Sheila Nevins

You don’t get over it, and so few admit it. I truly believe if you love someone….really love someone….how can you get over it? Love doesn’t die with their departure. I’ve been reading through the crime novels of Michael Connelly this summer, and I saved this passage, which is about this very topic:

"There is no end of things in the heart. (Li Po) She understood it to mean that if you took something to heart, really brought it inside those red velvet folds, that it would always be there for you. No matter what happened, it would be there waiting. She said this could mean a person, a place, a dream, a mission. Anything sacred, she told me that is is all connected in those secret folds. Always. It is all part of the same and will always be there, carrying the same beat as your heart."
"I’m a believer in the single bullet theory. You can fall in love and make love many times, but there is only one bullet with your name etched on the side. And if you are lucky enough to be shot with that bullet, then the wound never heals. What had been my bullet. He pierced me through and through. The wound he left was always there. It would not heal right. I was still bleeding and I knew it would always bleed for him. That was just the way it had to be. There is no end of things in the heart. In love and in loss, the night is always sacred."

I had to research the reference back to Li Po, but what was true then is true now, for me anyway. It’s rare someone comes out and says, "That’s just the way it has to be," this life mourning for lost love. It’s one of life’s dirty little secrets.

We’re a society of closure. Move along folks. Nothing more to see. I don’t believe in it, myself. I do think, over time, you may learn to carry your loss with dignity, and what’s wrong with that? For others, that one event destroys them. At best, you can only hope to carry it as a piece of you.

Postscript: I have seen people die of broken hearts. I’ve no doubt in my mind that it can happen.

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