Oh please.  If a friend is toxic, you know it.  It doesn’t take a brain trust or the next hot book to see that.  I have a handful of friends who are there for me in good times and bad.  As you get older the number gets smaller and more precious—because it is real.

The long-term effects of injecting chemicals into our faces has not been shown.  FDA-approved procedures have been dead wrong before—why do women (maybe a few men, but mostly women) feel it is okay to be a guinea pig for these companies? 

This is an extreme example, but I am reminded of the 1960s when women had silicone injected directly into their breasts by "doctors" who saw dollar signs instead of the potential for the silicone to leak into their client’s bloodstream, giving them a death sentence.  Improvements have been made since then, if implants can be seen as an improvement, but the hubris of those days still amazes.  

A needle in my face for purely cosmetic reasons?  No thank you. 

I know that Twilight Zone feeling of looking in the mirror, thinking "When did I change?  Why didn’t I notice it happening?", knowing that one’s looks have faded, eyebrows speckled with white hairs, an extra 20 pounds that resists exercise—it all seems so unfair.

I look at old pictures of friends and family and then into the eyes of those same people and I see them as they were, not their so-called flaws, not their older selves.  My eyes have changed too; but maybe that is a blessing.  Even with total strangers, I can see a good heart, a warm soul.  Maybe I’m not as nearsighted as I thought.

Honey, can you remember where we parked?

My Labor Day weekend was not as dramatic as a helicopter ride.  We drove Upstate, saw the trees begin changing color, walked around small towns, found the best homemade ice cream shop, and didn’t need to dress up for our dinner.  It was relaxing.  Relaxing is a tough commodity to come by these days.

Whoever judged this was under the influence.  Not funny.

Dora—I am so sorry you had to deal with Chemo, but you seem upbeat about it. I have put on weight since I turned 50, also, so we are in that club together. I’m working on that, but it is tougher to lose weight at our age than when we were in our 20s.

I have an older sister who smoked her whole life, slept in her makeup, always had dry skin (and constantly made jokes about my oily skin)—but now that we are in our 50s, she (shockers!) said she looks 10 years older than me (she is actually four years older). I don’t care about that and told her so; I care about good health and preventing skin cancer, which we have both had. I never wear foundation, I wear loose mineral powder with SPF 15, and never use products with ingredients I don’t know, or products that have been tested on animals. I have never smoked—I can tell smoker’s skin at a glance—it ages women.

Living in NYC, I often come home to look in the mirror and see little black specks of soot on my face—that is why the Clarisonic brush is so great. I cannot afford to move out of the city just yet, so it is important to me to clean my face as best I can.

Dora, I hope your health is better every day.

I am online a lot looking for work and options for change in the kind of work I will do in the future.  The irony is, computers replaced people in my old field (mostly outsourced them to India) and that is why I am unemployed, a cosmic joke I find a tad cruel.  I have a love/hate connection to my Mac.

I am on now because I cannot sleep, but IMO it is vitally important to unplug, make an effort, see friends, go for walks, read actual books, write letters by hand—all those things that make us feel connected beyond the computer screen.  I know people who have a lot of difficulty unplugging—it isn’t pretty. 

I saw the trees starting to change colors when I went out yesterday.  I wouldn’t have missed that to stay home with a machine.

IMO there is too much emphasis on piling on more and more products and lotions with the newest ingredients and the newest claims, in lieu of the basics—cleaning one’s face well.

I have owned what I consider an investment item, a ($195) Clarisonic Skin Brush, for many years. At the risk of sounding like one of these ads, the brush really works and cleans my face more effectively than a washcloth. The company improved it recently with a really gentle, sensitive skin, brushhead, perfect for me (the brushheads can be replaced and interchanged). Clarisonic promises smaller looking pores and reduction of fine lines, and can be used in the shower—a real plus. My dermatologist, who I go to for skin cancer checkups, sees a positive difference in how my skin looks because of this brush. I definitely see the difference.

I have always had oily/combination skin (still do at 53), which I believe, although a bane in my youth, accounts for less wrinkles as I have aged. I need very little lotion on my face, and the one I adore is from Aubrey Organics—Rosa Mosqueta Hand and Body Lotion. I don’t need separate (read: expensive) lotions for my face and body. Aubrey is excellent quality, feels wonderful, is not tested on animals and has no parabens or other scary ingredients.

I’d be interested in hearing what others have to say about this.

It costs a minimum of $400.  Pul-lease. 

B Clark—I went to that website.  It was very good—required reading for anyone who designs their own websites.  I will pass it on (but not through those networking sites—ugh!).

Wendy—I think they are asking us, what is our opinion, so that they can make changes if enough people don’t like a particular feature.  We suggest, they adjust, or not.  I believe they really want constructive criticism.  I think it is too much change at once.  I signed in and it was the old site then half an hour later I wanted to check something and it was this.  We needed a warning—or if there was one, I missed it.

I saw my financial planner the other day to roll over my 401k from my old job, the one that laid off me and 45 other folks on the same day in January.  The financial planner told me she knew of a woman who used to make over $200K a year, whose field disintegrated (like mine), and who is now making $10 an hour taking care of an elderly woman.  Okay, that scared me.  I am stressed out a lot lately.

I would like to go back to school, but at 53 I need a field that will still be there when I finish.  I have my BA in English, and was thinking teaching might be the way to go—the thought of dropping all my savings into a field that doesn’t need me is scary.  I have been all over the internet, and the teachers being hired are bilingual folks with science and math backgrounds.  I know myself; I cannot fake a knowledge of science and/or math. 

I would appreciate opinions from anyone who teaches in NYC. 

Eldebbo C—I think I am in the old-school category, also.  At first I thought this article was a joke.  But when I saw real responses, I thought, okay, why not, if you can make it doable.  It just really isn’t for me.  I am a serial monogamist as is my boyfriend of 15 years.  It is the way I am wired.  I don’t expect everyone to be wired the same way.

C Jay—Exactly.  I know folks who write computer language for a living, who say never, ever, give out personal information on those sites.  They know the million ways it can be used against you.