I am only 5’1" tall, but I think a perfect retort to the negative ninnies is, "Oh, we are thrilled about her height! History has proved that height often goes hand-in-hand with success. It’s better to be tall than short, like some people, don’t you think?"

I’ll bet that will leave them gaping like a goldfish while you saunter away smiling!

I was in church, being a guide to visitors who were visiting for the first time. A couple came in the door and I knew I recognized them, but couldn’t tell from where. After racking my brain, I realized I knew them from my neighborhood and had seen them around, mostly at the pool. Then, because I had only seen them in their bathing suits, I said, "Oh, I am sorry I didn’t recognize you earlier. I didn’t know you with your clothes on." In church!

Another time I was at my brother’s wedding reception and introducing myself to about a million future relatives. I usually gave a little family tree synopsis, so the future relative would know who I was in relation to the bride or groom. But, I got tongue-tied after introducing myself one time to many and said, "Hi, I am John’s brother." Immediately realizing my mistake (I am female), I quipped, "I am the brother no one talks about."

I am not usually that quick on the uptake but, God was blessing me that day.

I stopped dyeing my hair at age 44 after a decade of more and more frequent touch ups. But one day as I was fixing my hair, I thought, "Why am I doing this?" It certainly isn’t to look younger, I don’t think I am fooling anyone. And, for sure, it isn’t for any man. I haven’t had a date in many years. Too busy. So, I quit. Now my hair is salt and pepper and I love the freedom. And, best of all, I get compliments on my hair which I never used to do. Emancipation from the bottle. Long live the grays!

I once read that one should never text or talk on the phone anyplace that it would be rude to pull out and concentrate on a crossword puzzle. The idea being, if it is rude to concentrate so much as to totally ignore a person, then it shouldn’t be done.