I agree, I don’t think that counceling would keep a young couple from divorcing. After all, if you marry in the Catholic church, there is mandatory premarital counceling, yet still, there is a 50% divorce rate amongst those married in the Church. Personally, my husband and I underwent a move from San Francisco to Canada. We packed up the car, filled to the brim. Even my 12lb dog had to sit on the floor in front of me on the passenger side, and my seat was pushed all the way up. We had to call all our friends or text message them to get their addresses to send out our wedding invites from on the road. We drove all the way to Chicago before extenuating circumstances led to my then-fiance quitting the Canada job. So we drove all the way back, taking a much longer route on the way home to see some family and friends in Utah and Southern Cali. Being trapped in a car, driving up to 16 hours a day, meant we talked the entire time about what we wanted out of our family, our relationship. We discussed things such as how we wanted to dicipline our children, what we expected out of their schooling, what we wanted from each other when we got angry, how we should communicate during difficult times, what our financial responsiblities were. We had plenty of time during the 2 weeks in our cramped car. By the time we had the mandatory Catholic retreat for premarital counceling, we felt it was not only redundant (although we very much enjoyed the whole process, and I still think it is a good idea) but that it didn’t delve deep enough into these issues to really learn much. Still, it amazed me the amount of bickering I witnessed by some couples, and how little some couples knew about each other. There was an exercise where we all stood to one side of the room if we agreed, and the other side if we disagreed. The statements were stuff like, I believe my husband should be the main breadwinner, etc. Many people were surprised at how differently they felt, and I was amazed that they hadn’t discussed these issues during their dating process. It seems most couples jump in too quickly, whilst they are still in the lust stage, and eventually real life sets in, and problems arise, and whether or not they were premaritally counceled, they take the "easy" way out, and divorce…thinking they will be wiser the next time around.

#1: My high school/college sweetheart pulled a game much like this. About 6 or so months after I had broken up with him in college (he was insanely jealous) he began cooresponding with me. He said how he had learned from his relationship mistakes and began dating a new woman to whom he was trusting and wonderful. I was fine with this, and we continued our friendship. A year later, after many times of asking for a picture of him and her, he was still unable to provide one; but always had a convienent excuse. So that summer, I visited his apartment since it was near mine in New York (he normally lived much further away, but was teaching summer school close to me). I noted that there were no pictures of her. By this time, I had become convinced that he in fact had made up this girlfriend. He said he had brought all their pictures back home (in the West coast) recently, and therefore had none in the apt. We slept together, and he immediately freaked out. A week later he sent me a half naked picture of her online (she had only a bra and panties on). The next year, they married. Currently, they are expecting their first son. This sort of story can never end up well. The fact that he yo-yo’s between relationships shows his true colors. I am now happily married to the most wonderful man. I never thought men like him existed. In fact, I was dating a man who I thought was the love of my life, but who I had known had a crush on another woman(we were friends before we became lovers, and I knew this then). When she moved into town, he told me, and asked what to do. I moved aside, and told him I wouldn’t date someone who was in love with someone else. So we broke up. And I met my now husband. They dated, and we remained friends. We even all hung out once. Well, they broke up soon after, when my now-husband and I were still pretty new. He wanted me back, and regretted leaving for her…Although I did not love the man I was dating (my now husband), and I was absolutely in love with my ex, I told him that I would not do to my new boyfriend what he’d done to me: that I would see what this could be. Well, you know how that ends. It might not be the most romantic story to tell our children, but it is true, and wonderful. Love requires some work. It is hard enough to learn to love yourself, let alone another person. Anyone who can love two women at the same time is doing both women, and themselves, an injustice, and can not understand what it means to love wholly in the first place.