I think I was one of the very first “cougars.” In 1979, I began to date a fellow 11 years younger, and married him in 1980. In 1999, I married a fellow 17 years younger. Both marriages fizzled, and not because of ME! It is extremely important for the “older woman” to be fully apprised of her fellow’s work ethic, his plans for the future, and whether or not, for certain, he intends to contribute half of the cost of living! In my case, neither fellow did. They expected, somehow, that I, who had worked hard all my life and had a profession (albeit one I hated) that paid a living, would somehow support THEM! In spite of my willingness to be the only breadwinner, both fellows dumped me! The first one dumped me for a blonde (neighbor) with large mammaries and a trust fund. The second one dumped me for an unattractive but wealthy woman. I went into these marriages thinking they would last forever. I really did. I was SO in love! By the way, the first ex husband married the gal for whom he dumped me, and the gal was about 6 years older than he. The second ex husband ended up dumping the gal for whom he dumped me, but that gal was almost exactly his age. So I don’t think it’s all about age. I think it’s all about MONEY! By the way, I keep encountering lots of younger guys who actively seek out “older women.” I laughingly call them “granny grabbers.” They’re out there! Trust me! The recent AARP publication had a letter to the editor wherein, apparently, a lot of readers complained that, in a recent article that AARP published, the accompanying photo showed a guy and a gal wherein the gal seemed to be about 20 years younger than the guy. To my (and, I’m sure, most readers’) shock, the gal in the photo was actually OLDER than the guy! I think that proves a strong point: In our society, where men are valued just for being men (with their higher earning power, etc.), men don’t take care of themselves and almost always think they are “real catches,” in spite of their bald pates, bulging stomachs, slovenly dressing, etc. But women? Now, that’s a different story! Women are still valued PRIMARILY for their attractiveness, their abilities at caretaking, birthing, and being subservient to their men! I don’t see in our society today women being prized for their multi-facetedness, their intelligence, their personalities. No! It may as well be 1955 for all that our society prizes women of substance! But arm candy? OH yeah! So men feel perfectly free to “let themselves go,” physically, and then fully expect women to be attracted! Guess what? Both genders need to take care of themselves and to make themselves attractive! But men believe they don’t HAVE to! And as long as they have $$$$, they know they don’t HAVE to! Once women start having the opportunities in the workplace that men have, this will change. But not until. I am 60 and would not consider going out with an average man of 60, period. They all look like my grandfather! Ugh!

I liked the pics, but aren’t you forgetting a few countries in the Mediterranean? Like how ‘bout my beloved Greece? Or, for that matter, Italy!

As the above comments prove, discrimination against women in the workplace is still very very much alive. How many “administrative assistants” or secretaries do you see when you walk into an office of the female v. the male gender? That kind of says it all. We are still office slaves. In the ’70s, I got turned down a lot for just being a female, and in those days, they could tell you that to your face with impunity. Things haven’t necessarily changed, but because of the laws, potential employers are just a lot sneakier in discriminating because they have to be.

Wonderful stories! I, too, have a Marlon Brando story, but not nearly as juicy as Whoopie’s! Marlon used to be a client of someone for whom I worked. While I was at work, Marlon and I would speak on the telephone. I guess I probably gave him my home phone number (he probably asked for it). He used to call me at my home in the mornings, when I was working for the NEXT guy I worked for. Well, Marlon would ramble on so much that one day I was late for work. I told my boss I was late ‘cause I was talking with Marlon Brando on the phone. He didn’t believe me. Well, knowing that this boss would not, in all probability, believe me, I had surrepticiously tape-recorded a portion of my conversation with Marlon and brought it into the office that morning. I told my boss my story, he listened to the tape, and then said, “By golly, you’re RIGHT! It IS Marlon Brando!” Well, DUH! (I don’t lie.) I was on a temp job at another office one day. The attorneys in this office represented one of Marlon’s kids. I asked one of the female attorneys how the case was going, and she snootily responded, “I don’t think it’s any business of yours.” Like, “mind your own business.” She and some other attorneys and I were standing in an office. Just then, the phone rang. One of the male attorneys walked over to the desk and picked up the phone. He said, “Yes? What? Oh yes. She’s here,” and he handed the phone to me (!). It seems that Marlon had tracked me down and had asked the attorney to turn the phone over to me! You should have seen the astonished look on that snooty female lawyer’s face! She could NOT believe it! I was so happy that Marlon had called me!! Anyway, he called me every day for a couple of weeks, then stopped. I learned that he was kind of lonely and would sit in his house and go through his address book and just “demon dial” all the people he knew, and start a chat with them. Man, he must have been tired by the time he got to me, since my last name begins with a “W”!

Oh, come on. We all know that Pellicano is guilty. The problem is, he was doing what he did TO MAKE MONEY, duh! And that, in our society today, seems to be the pre-eminent raison d’etre! Even Diane Dimond —- she’s not reporting on celebrities necessarily because she CARES! She’s doing it (duh) for THE MONEY. Until we are all fabulously wealthy, and are in a position to change our society so it is not so celebrity and money-centric, I think we might just lay off on these people a wee bit. HOWEVER, anyone knows that Pellicano could have made a decent amount of money being just a regular private dick and that what he did was not only wrong, it was against the law. I do think that we all have a right to private telephone conversations, in spite of what the Bush Administration says! I have worked for “Hollywood attorneys,” and, trust me on this, they are all about the money! As is everyone else! So why WOULDN’T they hire someone “to get the goods on” another celebrity? They do what they must, in order to get paid by their celebrity clients. It’s all part of the greed-and-celebrity culture we now have. I kind of liked it when the studios were in power. During those days, we didn’t hear much of anything that was lurid about celebrities, and no one did much of any illegal wire-tapping that was successful, because celebrities had the studios to protect the celebrities! They could quash anything.

Good for Candice! Unfortunately, those of us who are just common working drones don’t have the opportunities to meet other people as celebrities like Candice do. Alas. My problem is, every time I see a man my age, he looks like he should be my GRANDFATHER! Heterosexual men just don’t seem to give a damn what they look like! They seem to think that, even with pot bellies, no hair on their heads, and ugly faces, they’re to be treasured by women, just because they’re MEN! Well, I am sorry, but I do like good-looking males. And, unfortunately, that usually means younger men. However, that hasn’t worked out: My first husband was 11 years younger than I and dumped me for the big-breasted neighbor (older than he, but younger than I); my second husband was 17 years younger than I and dumped me for an unattractive woman of his age who was wealthy (I’m NOT!). At 60, I doubt if I will be dating any time soon. The goons on the internet dating sites give me the shivers. Ugh!!!! Yeah, yeah, I’m chubby and not any perfect specimen, either, but at least I stay groomed and my face is still reasonably pretty. Not so for the geeks out there in my age group (and I’m 60). I cannot see myself settling down with a really ugly guy, so I’m stuck! Lots of women don’t MIND ugly; I do. A lot. So that’s my predicament. I have never met a guy who was age-appropriate, available, and just NICE looking (not gorgeous) who also had all the other characteristics I like (being well-educated, well-traveled, funny, bright, accomplished, and moral). They’re just not out there.

I have been fired many times, and altho’ it DID wreck havoc on my life, I look back and realize that I was fired for 2 things: (1) I don’t kiss ass very well [I don’t show respect unless I really respect someone, which is rare], and (2) I have trouble showing up on time —- not least because I have always hated the job I have done all my life (legal secretarying). Attorneys for the most part are egotistical maniacs who somehow think they are special and superior to everyone else. I do not ascribe to that thought. I am a very intelligent, college-educated female who works diligently, and I never tho’t I had to bow down to anyone. Anyone! I seem to be stuck doing this hideous profession, and it is still boring and horrible: paper-pushing for egomanicas. Every once in a blue moon, I run across an attorney who is not contentious and doesn’t expect that I will kiss his bottom, and when I do run across an attorney like that, I show my gratitude! I tried for years to get out of this hated profession (legal secretarying), but at that time, women were not respected in the workplace, and it was impossible. I had to make a living! So I always went back to what I knew: legal secretarying —- even though I have always hated it with a passion. So I don’t care that I was fired so many times. I just don’t care. The women who got my job obviously did a much better job at derriere-kissing than I, and that’s fine, ‘cause I am not going to do it!!!

Russians? Hmmm… Well, here in L.A., we should be talking about the Iranian Jews! They own EVERYTHING, and are tearing down every classic, residential apt. bldg. they can get their hands on! And talk about being brash and pushy? Hah! I’d like to see a Russian vs. an Iranian Jew, and my money’s on the latter!

Everyone has made some very valid points. I think prostitution should be legal, but I bemoan the fact that there are very few highly-paid jobs out there for women, so young women have to resort to this! Ugh! I have a friend who was a highly-paid prostitute and ended up marrying one of her “johns,” a multimillionaire. To my knowledge, she has never been beat up or mistreated by one of her “johns.” Yes, I know she is in the minority. But she was always very careful about health issues, and by being a highly-paid prostitute, she was able to provide a wonderful home for her children. And, oh yes, I do think they should be licensed and have to pay taxes like other folks. Let’s treat them like what they are: sex workers. They are WORKERS. And they need protection (pensions, disability insurance, etc.) just like all workers.

Bravo, bravo, bravo! I just read about this site and am thrilled! I, too, am soooo tired of all those sites which only talk about getting a husband and having babies. (And for you dear writer who wrote in that you wanted a site for women with husbands and babies, man!, there are PLENTY of those sites out there! Leave this site ALONE!) Suggestion: As entertainment, all my life I have read those columns where people write in for answers to their social life problems. I have found the best one yet, by Caroline Hax. Wow! This gal “has it goin’ on”! She is BRILLIANT! And her column is NOTHING like all the other ones out there. Please put her column on your website. Anyway, thanks, gals! You’re the BEST!

I have always needed about 9 hrs. of sleep. I also have sleep problems (problems falling asleep, problems staying asleep, problems waking up, etc.), so I have problems! But I have always known the importance for me of sleep. Because of this, I have always secured jobs that begin in the afternoon, because some of my best sleep occurs from approximately 6 AM - 9 AM, and I could NOT get that sleep if I had to be at work at 9 AM! The Pleasure Police make all of us who cherish our sleep out to be lazy people. We are NOT! I am willing to work into the night! I get so tired of The Pleasure Police —- esp. here in L.A., where The PC Police proliferate. People are PROUD when they can proclaim they need only 4 hrs. of sleep per night. I have news for them!: They are hurting themselves mentally and physically. At least when I finally am up and at ‘em, I really AM firing on all cylinders — unlike some of the “potted plants” (women) I have seen in offices at 9 AM!