This disaster was predicted with Forgotten Man Syndrome:  A (government) conspires with B(business or unions) to take money from C(taxpayer) to give to X - some victim group or cause.  And all this is done by the force of the government.  

 There is always massive fraud when the government gets involved.  

 When Franklin Delano Roosevelt became president in 1933 there were 12,830,000 (24.74%)unemployed Americans. Five years later, in 1938, after a myriad of legislative and programmaticNew Deal initiatives, there were 10,390,000 (18.91%) unemployed Americans. That year the nation was in the midst of a new recession within the longer-running Great Depression. It was also the year my father had to hock his only winter coat so that he and my mother could eat. Most of Sumner’s forgotten men and women who voted for Barack Obama, who will pay the expanded interest on the nation’s new debt burden, have yet to awaken. A few have. Sadly, some never will.  But to many, an awakening will eventually come, after time, and considerable pain. But it will come.

We are seeing an economic cascade. I read that 1 in 6 credit cards is expected to be defaulted on, Deutche bank just made a devastating announcement that a large percentage of commercial properties are going to miss the next round of payments, and won’t be refinanced, sending the value of that market falling.  Student loans are going to start defaulting along with all of this.  We’re about 20 minutes into a 5 hour journey.

 The Fed wrote down the value of former Bear Stearns commercial-mortgage holdings by 28 percent to $5.6 billion and residential loans by 38 percent to $937 million as of Dec. 31, the central bank said today. Properties in California and Florida accounted for 45 percent of outstanding principal of the residential mortgages.

“It’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to losses in the commercial real estate market,” said Chris Rupkey, chief financial economist at Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ Ltd. in New York. Lenders “were over-optimistic about tenant occupancy rates and rents,” he said……."

The Fed said its commercial-mortgage loans had principal of $8.5 billion at the end of December, compared with the “fair value” assessment of $5.6 billion, indicating an assumption that about 35 percent of the debt won’t be paid back.

One company, which the Fed didn’t identify, represented 48 percent of the total principal balance of the commercial mortgage loans in the portfolio. 

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a56anT0BPQio&refer=home 

Case #1 has much potential for problem-solving.  There could be an underlying medical problem.  I was unsure when she said "had been" how long she has suffered in this situation or if it "had been" of late.  

Blood sugar issues are a big cause related to sexual dysfunction, as is male menopause.  Working for a sex therapist, I know that the letter-writer would be throughly interviewed, even if her partner was not interested in participating. One person can change the dynamic in a relationship, and be coached how to encourage the other partner.

It’s understandable that he is unlikable in this state, but if he is a good man, and she loves him, she should dedicate all her energy to researching this problem.  The book Resurrecting Sex, by David Schnarch is an excellent place to start.   

I’ve had many people recommend "Fireproof."  There is also a Fireproof book that provides more information and exercises.  This is a difficult time in our society for marriage.  It is devalued by both men and women.  She should consider "marriage enrichment" a free program held across the country, facilitated by volunteers, to develop marriage skills.  

Marriage enrichment will help you recover or develop the deep sense of joy you want in your marraige. Marriage Enrichment will help you:

• Identify relationship strengths and growth areas
  

• Learn communication skills
  

• Learn conflict resolution skills
  

• Explore family of origin issues
  

• Develop financial plans and a budget
  

• Develop personal, couple, and family goals
  

  
  

  
  

It was a shock moving to NJ from California in 1998.  The rest of the country was booming, and yet, I’d see so many boarded-up stores with "for rent" signs in the windows.  Turns out that New Jersey and New York are the most hostile to business in the US, with punitive taxes, and absurd business-killing regulations.  Now things are worse than ever for the small business person.  We are planning on leaving in the near future.

And the reason that things will only get worse is that investors are buying up the massive amount of New debt created by the Obama administration.  Normally that money would be going into the economy through investments to small and medium size investments.  Silicon Valley boomed because the angel investors had so much incentive to take risk.  Now, shockingly, angel investors have found out that Obama has just announced that he is coming after them to treat them like hedge funds - when they’ve been doing the right things all along.  It will dry up the investment funds for technology.

 We are entering a very cruel and predatory time regarding the government, and it is a spiral that will only take us lower. 

 "Prosperity is just around the corner."

Obama’s policy have been tried and failed in the ‘30’s and in many other countries around the world.  They’ve never worked not once in not a single country.  Look at Zimbabwe printing trillion dollar notes.

— Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau, commenting on the failures of the New Deal after two terms of FDR 

Dr Sowell’s full article:

and I especially like this series of questions about the fascist direction of the administration:

 Now that the federal government says that it will stand behind the warranties on General Motors’ automobiles, does that make you more likely or less likely to buy a car from GM? If you were a rising young executive with a promising future, would you be more likely or less likely to go to work for a company where politicians can fire you?

http://townhall.com/columnists/ThomasSowell/2009/04/07/random_thoughts?page=1 

And black economist Thomas Sowell says in his column today:

 Barack Obama seems determined to repeat every disastrous mistake of the 1930s, at home and abroad. He has already repeated Herbert Hoover’s policy of raising taxes on high income earners, FDR’s policy of trying to micro-manage the economy and Neville Chamberlain’s policy of seeking dialogues with hostile nations while downplaying the dangers they represent…..

It has long been said that uncertainty is the hardest thing for a market to adjust to. No one can generate uncertainty as much as the government, which can change the rules in midstream or come out with some new bright idea at any time, as the current administration has already demonstrated. 

It’s like watching a car wreck in slow motion.  But what the news is printing is really red herrings.  There’s a bigger story going on behind the scenes which has to do with our national sovereignty.  Financial expert, Steve Cordaso spent two hours on Saturday discussing the Atlantic article by the former IMF president and MIT professor:  

 The Quiet Coup - about these links that go back to Robert Rubin, and Summers and Geithner under Clinton who cemented  these incestuous relationships with government and Wall street:

 The crash has laid bare many unpleasant truths about the United States. One of the most alarming, says a former chief economist of the International Monetary Fund, is that the finance industry has effectively captured our government—a state of affairs that more typically describes emerging markets, and is at the center of many emerging-market crises. If the IMF’s staff could speak freely about the U.S., it would tell us what it tells all countries in this situation: recovery will fail unless we break the financial oligarchy that is blocking essential reform. And if we are to prevent a true depression, we’re running out of time.

I was sitting with my son in the dentist office rubbing his back after he’d been told that he needed a root canal at 13.  I asked him how he was feeling.  He replied:  "Good.  It’s just another lesson."

So I think I have the same philosophy - No regrets because I try to make consciencious decisions to the best of my ability. I also get most of my clothes from my sister in law who picks up designer clothes at garage sales in nice areas.  

If I do have any regrets it’s things I didn’t do, didn’t buy, didn’t commit to like not visiting my grandmother right before she suddenly died.  

Although I have to say that Joan’s list was very funny - at least to me.  Maybe:  Regret + Time + One degree of separation = Humor, too. 

The BIG problem for #1 is in the first line: "I’ve been dating a man for a little over a year…."  Any knowledge of his personal situation should have been big red flags from the beginning.  He does not sound like a "hunter" as used in relationship parlance.  A hunter is the initiator, the activator, the persistent one.  She mentioned that he is "passive and usually goes along with what other say."  Now there’s a big clue - about Ms #1.  She obviously must like her men this way, because she dated him for a year - but now that she thinking about genuine shared responsibilities, that quality isn’t quite as charming.  

Well she can’t have it both ways.  She needs to get some counseling about why she has invested herself so deeply in at least two relationships that were toxic, and why she was OK with a passive man for so long. She seems to be attracted to or is attracting the wrong kind of man.  She can change that at least for her boys sake.

#2 I would have him mention that he can do x, y or z but will be bringing a friend - a girl - and hold hands with her.  Also mention the girl in phone calls with the elderly woman.  I hope I become demented in my late 90’s and believe that scores of men are in love with me.  

Sounds enjoyable.