Roxanne, in these quicksilver times, by the time a book is published, the context is often passé. As informed thinkers address the economy, let’s hope to achieve an aggregate wisdom - and strategy - to untangle, recover and rebuild. But first things first; this writer demands transparency and forthcoming from Wall Street. That would certainly qualify as a novel idea. In this guest essay, Brent Budowsky examines how secrecy has contributed to the crisis – and is now threatening a resolution: The public is angry – and that anger is rising. The dangers to our economy are escalating while confidence, trust and credibility are collapsing for both government and business institutions. Whatever else Wednesday’s mammoth action by the Fed suggests, we know this: After $8 trillion of support for financial institutions by multiple federal agencies, the Federal Reserve Board has concluded that the program has not worked, and much more is needed. I emphasize this: I do not oppose bailouts; I oppose bailouts that are poorly managed, poorly structured and, far too often, conducted with secrecy. I have warned since 2007 about the cascading financial crisis that would spread from sector to sector, bank to bank, and consumer to consumer. I have called, repeatedly, for direct action to benefit real people such as a temporary freeze on foreclosures. What I continue to most strongly oppose are top-down bailouts, where $8 trillion goes to financial institutions that continue to raise their interest rates and cut credit lines for even their most creditworthy consumer and business customers. As for disclosure, the banks and investment houses must be far more direct, comprehensive and honest in disclosing information to Congress, to regulators, to the public, and to investors. In olden days, markets were based on prices applied to entities with ascertained value and trading was done as the value of those very ascertainable assets would rise and fall. Today we have a new, and in my view vile, phenomenon: the securitization of everything, where clusters of mortgages, credit card accounts, etc. are bunched together and traded like Nasdaq stocks. This removes the value proposition and makes these securitized instruments impossible to value, and they are traded based on whims, rumors and mindless speculation until some dumb slob is the last guy buying overvalued and bubbled assets. This last guy is the slob holding the bag at the end, and now the bag is being handed to taxpayers. Also, this securitization de-links the original buyer from the original seller, which makes rational renegotiation impossible. The guy or gal who took out the mortgage no longer deals with the bank that sold it; that bank has sold it to someone else, who sold it to someone else, who sold it to someone else. This makes renegotiation of terms impossible in many cases, forcing some preventable foreclosures, which further destroys the housing market in foreclosed communities, and which multiplies ultimate losses, which multiplies ultimate bailouts. The second problem, in brief, is that financial institutions invented and began trading financial derivative instruments that were not based on the value of the original asset, or even on the value of the securitized basket of assets, but were valued on alleged value in “hedging” the risk. Yet if we can’t intelligently value the original asset, or the securitized combination of assets, we cannot value the hedge, i.e., the derivative instruments. In principle, we need to restore the relationship between the actual asset and the value the market determines for that asset. While I have one of those fancy degrees from one of those great schools that are in vogue today, I am old-fashioned. I believe, simply, that we should emphasize trading what we can value, with full disclosure of what the assets are, and full understanding of what tradable assets such as securitized baskets of assets and derivatives are. Today, far too many of these instruments remain secret. Far too many financial CEOs don’t even understand the complex assets their firms are trading (and losing money from, and seeking bailouts for). Regulators such as the Securities and Exchange Commission have failed so dismally they’re almost farcical. Congress can barely understand the complexities of these assets, let alone policy. And Treasury and the Fed are dumping huge amounts of money, $8 trillion and counting, into the very institutions that caused the problem in ways that neither the public, the Congress, consumers, investors or even regulators understand. And now we read stories such as the ridiculous $50 billion Ponzi scheme of Mr. Madoff that only proves the failure of financial, regulatory and political institutions to serve the people who are the boss and who pay for the bailouts. Truth, justice, integrity and common sense begin with disclosure. As Justice Brandeis said, “sunshine is the best disinfectant.” I would add that secrecy is the enemy of common sense and integrity and the friend of corruption and incompetence. This is why I vehemently oppose the Federal Reserve keeping secret how at least $2 trillion of the bailout has been used and this is why I support the Freedom of Information Act challenge by Bloomberg business news seeking disclosure. There are surely valid reasons for selective non-disclosure, but these cases should be rare, and keeping secret $2 trillion of spending is ridiculous, absurd and anti-democratic. This is the public’s money, and the public has a right to know. This is one of the most vital and urgent and expensive financial policies in world history, literally, and the leaders in Congress and the banking committees have a need, and right, to know. Show me $2 trillion of secretly spent money and I will show you trouble, bad news and probably mismanagement. Show me $2 trillion of secretly spent money and I will show you public outrage, and public backlash, and public rage at a time of national economic hardship that will only increase with time. Show me $2 trillion of secretly spent money and I will show a policy outcome that by definition will probably be irrational in a nation where our very democracy is based on informed public debate, and the checks and balances of a government the Founders deliberately constructed with divided powers. Finally, for now, I have a warning about, and am increasingly troubled by, practices that are more akin to a banana republic than the world’s greatest democracy. Trillions of dollars are thrown around like monopoly money. Titans of Wall Street trade financial instruments that even they do not understand. Even an incredible, gigantic, $50 billion Ponzi scheme victimizes investors who are supposed to be experts, while the SEC is so incompetent it is the moral equivalent of criminal negligence. Let’s stop the practices that have taken us into this abyss and start with the honest, full, effective, responsible and comprehensive disclosure that is the precondition to cleaning up this multitrillion-dollar morass. Source: Consortiumnews Brent Budowsky was an aide to Sen. Lloyd Bentsen and to Rep. Bill Alexander, then the chief deputy whip of the House. He can be read in The Hill newspaper, where he is a columnist. He can be reached at brentbbi@webtv.net.

Clearly, a case of pearls before swine. The thing you live with is knowing these pearls came off a perfect strand that dangled from your own neck.

Once had this conversation with Joni Mitchell. [Trying to talk her into writing another epochal anthem for the masses.] She professed that Tibetan Monks and other advanced, indigenous spiritual masters are the only credible ‘they.’

I attended an Obama house meeting this weekend and the subject of media delivery was on everyone’s minds. Local, national, global. More than ever, we see it as a lifeline. That’s the good news for media - and it is adapting to that demand with the fastest and cheapest solutions…That’s the bad news for print. I also crave holding the paper or a book right here in my hands. Long live the natural senses! Technology can only take us so far - and isn’t it up to us to say when? [Note recent news stories of Predator commuter-combat-pilots, going to their jobs in Las Vegas, from which they fire remote-controlled missiles over Iraq. These guys are going crazy; angry at their wives and depressed because they get no sensory input at work. Good god, y’all.] Media will likely hybridize to meet our competing needs for the tangible and the immediate. Online ventures that publish regular hard-copy portions of their papers may be the way. I don’t need to read breaking news in fresh ink, but don’t take away my sit-down ritual with the Tuesday Science Times - in real time and space. New thinking about how to monetize media is bound to evolve. Let’s face it: when advertising crept into alternative weeklies, it was the death of much gonzo coverage. Too many writers have been afraid to report outside the marketing box, for fear of losing their livelihoods. Most national papers are asleep at the wheel, too willingly subverted by markets. We have our ‘sudden’ global economic disaster, as a result. Social media and the willingness of people to volunteer their time, research, to offer reports on events and analysis - what a modern miracle. For now, there’s a trade-off for virtual/bibliophiles: if this brand new cornerstone to democracy spells dwindling paper content, that means more trips back-and-forth to the local lending library.

1. Dopeler effect: The tendency of really stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (Hello, Hank Paulson!) 2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (Going back to Alaska as Governor.) 4. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. (Soon a neighborhood in Dallas.) 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. (!) 6. Osteopornosis: A terrible degenerate disease 7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 9. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. (Not sure what this means.) 10. Karmageddon: What Americans get for letting Bush slide. 11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling contest of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 12. Glibido: All talk, no action. 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve sauntered through a spider web. 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 15. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an utter asshole.

A young evangelist preacher goes into his church. The baskets are empty, people aren’t giving much lately. He decides to pray to God. While he’s praying, he’s thinking. He finally asks God, “Dear Lord, How long is 10 million years to you?” God replies, “For me, it like one second.” The next day the preacher has a plan. He sits down in the pew and asks God, “Father, how much is 10 million dollars to you?” God pauses, smiling to himself. Then he replies, “It’s like a penny.” The next day, the preacher goes back into the church and asks, “Father, may I have one of your pennies?” And God in his infinite love and wisdom replies, “Sure kid. Just a second.” ::::::::::::::::::: As usual, Laura Bush beats her husband to the morning breakfast table. And as usual, she is reading the New York Times. Horrified, she tells him, “Four Brazilians were killed in Iraq today!” “No kidding?” says George, reaching across the table for a forkful of Jimmy Dean Lean. “How many is a Brazilian?” :::::::::::::::::::: It’s 8 a.m. at the gambling casino. Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on the roll of the dice. The dealers agree. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I am bottomless.” They both nod yes, and with that she strips naked from the waist down, kicks off her shoes and rolls the dice. She’s yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of shoes! Mama needs a new pair of panties!” She then starts jumping up and down, and up and down, and hugging each of the dealers. “YES! YES YES! I WON!” She picks up her money, slips on her shoes, grabs her clothes and quickly walks away. The dealers just stare at each other, dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, “What the hell did she roll?” The other answers, “How would I know?! All I saw was snake-eyes.” ::::::::::::: Susan goes to see the doctor about getting a facelift. “OK,” says the doctor. “I can do part of the face lift now, but you´ll have to come back again in 6 months for a follow-up. ” Oh no!” says Susan, “I want it done all at once!” The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “We do have a new procedure..it doesn’t require your coming back.” “Yes, yes, what is it?!” she pleads. “Well,” says the doctor, “We insert a small screw into the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appear, you give it a small crank and the wrinkles go away.” “Wonderful!” says Susan. “Let´s do that!” Six months later, Susan comes charging into the doctor´s office. “So, how´s the procedure working? “ asks the doctor. “Terrible!” yells Susan. “It´s the biggest mistake I ever made! Just look at these bags under my eyes!” “Susan,” the doctor replies, “Those are your boobs! And if you don´t stop turning that screw, you’re sure to have a beard!” ::::::::::::::::::: An attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, and he dashes over. He’s pretty sure he’s seen her here before. When he comes over, she seductively gestures for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is so full and bushy. “Are you the manager?” she asks, softly, stroking his face with both hands. “Um, actually, no” he replies. “Can you get him for me? - I need to speak to him,” she whispers, running her hands up behind his beard and into his hair. “I’m afraid I can’t,” breathes the barman - clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?” “Oh yes. I need you to tell him something…” she answers huskily, pushing a couple of fingers into his mouth and letting him suck on them, gently, as she pushes them back and forth. “Would you tell that cheap bastard for the last time? Put some hand soap and toilet paper in the ladies room.” ::::::::::::: A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. Desperate, he approached a security guard and said, “I’ve lost my Grandpa!” “The guard look around sharply and asked, “Quick, what’s he like?” The little boy hesitated. Finally, he shouted out, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.” :::::::::::and a repeat, from way back: Three women - two in their 20’s and one in her 50’s - were relaxing, naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman
pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. “Oh, that was my pager,” she said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young
woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, “That was my Blackberry. I have a microchip right here, in my hand.’ The older woman, chafing and feeling rather low-tech, decided not to be out-done… She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned, with a longish portion of toilet paper dangling from her derriere.
 The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.
 The older woman happily explained…….. “Well now, will you look at that?!… I’m getting a fax!!’

Mary, Parrot Cay may offer Watsu - The ultimate antidote to burden fatigue. With all the warm water and healing hands that abound, it may be worth a look into. Float and be suspended, dancing in rhythmic water, just like the old days - pre-birth, pre-care, preturnatural.

High school was like Broadway. I’d cab in around noon and my teachers would praise me for showing up. Until the day they insisted I wear shoes. Like, all day! Puleeze. Junior High was more conformist. But, for some reason, I made a pact with a friend, a nice girl named Sue Williams, that we’d both go to class the following day in our pajamas. The morning bell rang, I was strolling down the hall wearing my bathrobe, slippers and curlers. Sue tiptoed by - in her jeans, sweater and shiny black loafers. So I learned a few fabulous things that day. First - how liberating it is to laugh at yourself. Also - never make a deal with a girl named Sue.

No! I meant this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEhF-7suDsM

The classics are great! Who could argue with that? Sid Caesar and Nanette Fabray would: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=side+caesar+and+nanette+fabr…

What, Joni didn’t respond? Seems awkward enough for you to have to write her, Serena. All blog entries, including Jane’s recommendation, are read by editors. It’s time to make space for you dedicated, talented wOw contributors to be represented in editorial content. I must say, it’s curious. Since the women of wow have all decried the effects of the Glass Ceiling - what’s with the Glass Partition?

I’m wondering if Ernestine needs to fess up! Did she have ‘a little something’ to do with purloining the new President’s phone records? There must be easier ways to get Oprah’s home number. Or perhaps she was hoping to reach Madame Sarkozy? Trading beauty secrets with foreign nations will get you in deep weeds. And who does Ernestine work for - really? (If it’s who I think it is - inform Madame Governor her connection was lost.)

let me guess, Patti Smith? in her case it was more Darvon than Darshan.

- I know, right?

and remember, impulse buying can break you if you don’t break it. Especially in the case of certain home appliances. http://www.lilytomlin.com/charns/beasley/cm/hellokitty.html