Oh Ashley, I have walked in your shoes.

Actually, not exactly in your style of shoe. I was 28 when I was diagnosed with RA. For years I tried everything to find help short of visiting a witch doctor.  But that was in 1960 not much available then to help with the pain. My feet and hands so swollen, they looked like the bones had vanished. I so longed for shoes, any shoe. All I could fit in and barely walk with were flip flops. I once even purchased men shoes in an extra wide then I decided not to wear them. 

Ten years later the disease went into remission, the fingers and toes are still crooked and I do have knee problems. You are so young and have so much courage. I can understand why you love your shoes and I would be the last one to tell you to change.

Joan, I loved your answer and I will surely borrow the "organ recitals" line.

Unfortunately I have become the boring friend with the "Alzheimer Rhapsody". After 12 years of caregiving looks like my brain is saturated with only this topic. Pitty my friends. I do try to avoid that kind of conversation but it is all consuming.

Now I do tell the same to the doctors, they have heard it all a thousand times and they just keep track with notes on their pad and shake their heads. It does not truly matter to them to hear my secrets, they can write books about it all. 

I can’t negotiate, I just can’t, I fall apart , I give in.

However, if it comes to my kids or grandkids I will negotiate with the anyone and give them a run for their money.

My husband is a great artist and made a living with his art work, he just happened to be very bad at managing figures. Check books were not his forte and he also has ADD. All this because he is an artist? I don’t think so I know several people who are not artistic at all and have zero skills on managing their money and bank accounts. 

Well, this was very appropriate. I had just been talking about "what will happen if………" with my son.

I also happen to find my husband’s "do not resuscitate order" while cleaning some files today. Never thought of keeping it closer so I would not have to scramble for it. Oddly I do not have one and want it, will make a note of it when I go to the dr. next. 

Joan, you did such a superb job, I am extremely proud of you.

Thank you, Ms Brody for writing the book. I surely will get a copy.

Chris, I am so glad that you found a place for your father in law at the VA.

No one knows what is involved with being a 24/7 caregiver.

We have checked out the VA but since Bob was not a professional soldier all they can

help us with is day care. I am grateful for that but ……….I am getting very tired.

There is a fine line between the help I need and what some of my children think I should do.

Some is actually none of their business, yet if you ask help for one problem then it starts to mushroom and soon someone in the old nest will start making demands. 

Last time I counted I still had all my marbles. My husband however has Alzheimer and I do need help with shopping as I do not drive. I do not ask for financial help on the contrary. I do like it when one of them takes old dad for the week end. 

I am being told by one child that I can’t decide on how our funeral should be. We just want cremation,period. She wants "closure" and that translates to a memorial etc.. I think we have 5 or 6 people left in town who know us, the others are all gone. I prepaid the arrangements subject is closed.

There are constantly issues with one child who does all the "helping"  and another absent one who tells me what to do when she does show up.

I like it when I do get some advice that I can use but do not treat me like I am an aging idiot. 

Senior discounts??I’ll take them.

I remember the first time I asked for a senior menu at Denny’s I could hardly get the words out, I was so embarrassed, amazing how fast I got used to it. 

I was most comfortable with my looks in my thirties. Truly I did not give it much thought, I rarely look in the mirror after the morning coiffure is done. Now slowly approaching 80 I was just deliriously happy when someone approached my daughter and I and said : You are look alikes and so handsome.

Like Phyllis I looked it up and I surely can live with that.

I still will not look in the mirror this afternoon, it’s not me anyway.

Phyllis, I checked all the definitions from number 1, did not like any of them.

So I will just take one from the 16th century (I belong there anyway) and take "nice".

I am a giver to a fault. I have given my last dime when the next pay day was still days ahead, have done it more than once. I always felt that if someone will take advantage of me then it is their problem, not mine. I give freely and that is just my nature, to do otherwise would be like swimming upstream.