I foolishsly married a dud.  He was completely rigid about when he went to bed and got up (very early in both instances). This pretty well put a damper on our sex life.  I think it was an excuse on his part not to have to have sex very often.  All activities had to be ones he was interested in.  I couldn’t even have a classical music station on in the car, because he didn’t like it.  Many of my cooking efforts were rejected, because he was a Mama’s boy meat and potatos guy.  He was actually a pervert who was only turned on if he was talking about and thinking about activities that repelled me.  He was happy to masturbate in me that way and thought it was great sex - once every month or so.  It didn’t talke long for me to realize that this guy, who had seemed romantic and normal during courtship, was a complete asshole.  He claims to have slept with 60 some women in his life.  If that is true, all it means is that he had a dysfunctional sexual relationship with 60 some people.  I think there is more to the story with him than I knew, and I am glad to be rid of him. 

Sam Mirando, Making the best of one’s marriage or other long-term relationship is impossible if passion is completely lacking.  Passion exhibits itself in cooking, decorating, hobbies and interests, as well as sex.  Living with a dud is like facing rejection on every creative level.  The duds should live with one another and not inflict themselves on the rest of us!

LW#!:  I know of no solution for a man with a low sex drive, other than to move on.  I can see how you could have tried to cope and tried to change him and even yourself for 26 years, only to end up realizing that your entire adult life with him as been sexually unsatisfying for you.  I am continually amazed at how many ment here are in this world like him, and there is no changing them.  Move on, you will be better off even if you are alone.

What Lee Radziwill says doesn’t make sense.  Why did she and other rich relatives let the Beales live in abject poverty?  There is no excuse for that.  They could be eccentric without being destitute. 

My Dad was my best friend.  I adored him as a child and my only sadness was in seeing him depressed.  Occasionally, his mother lived with us too, and her depression was worse.  When i hit my 30’s, I became clinically depressed and got on antidepressants.  I eventually urged my Dad to do the same.  I consider it a gift that I was able to do that because the remainder of his life was pretty much depression free.  He has been gone over 4 years now and I miss him every day.  I had the best Dad in the world.  Among his momemtos, I found a little piece of wood board he had kept, on which I had written in pencil, "I love my Daddy very much!"  That’s the kind of man he was. 

I hope she goes to prison and has no shampoo or comb, as sometimes happens.  She will then have to use a bar of soap and her fingers to wash and style her hair. 

I would like to add this advice to those of you who know a woman who is in an abusive relationship.  Please don’t get mad at her for not leaving.  She may  have to try to leave several times before she finally accomplishes it.  If you abandon her in frustration, she will have just one less person in her life who loves her.  Part of the cycle of violence is the isolation of the person being abused.  Don’t contribute to that isolation, please.  Right now, for example, we are all mad at Rhianna, but we shouldn’t be mad, just temporarily disappointed, and we should still be supportive of her because she will one day get out, dead or alive.  Remember that each victim is doing the best she can in a hellish situation that can’t be adequately described.

I appreciate Keira Knightley performing this service and I am sure it will raise awareness.  My abuser died trying to kill me 20 years ago.  I can tell you that the reason I didn’t leave sooner was twofold:  I found it impossible to believe that I could die at the hands of someone who had once loved me.  To do so would have made my mind explode.  It has taken me all these years to even come close to accepting it.  He died on the other side of a locked door, with 13 loaded shotguns at his side.  After he died, I found a hidden gun in our bedroom along with a typed letter I had written years before, that could have been taken as a suicide note.  It was all he had saved, of all the cards and trinkets a relationship produces.  The second reason is that we were both seeing a psychologist, separately, who kept telling me to "manage my way out" of the situation, not just throw my clothes and dogs into my car, walk out on my excellent job, and leave.  He also said he felt I was safe as long as my husband wasn’t drinking.  What he didn’t know is that he   never stopped drinking, he just wasn’t doing it at home.  4 long months later, when the DA dropped all charges against me because it was clearly a self-defense case, I left with my pets and clothes.  I have had to live with the fact that I took a life, even though it was my life or his.  He was such a self destructive person that he finally put me in a position where I would have to do what he himself was too cowardly to do - and that was die.  I  have some permanent injuries from our marriage, both physical and emotional, that will never heal. 

I find it in terribly poor taste that "The Etceteraist" would even bring this up.  Nobody would have thought of it if you hand not done so.  Now, I suppose you will ask if Carla  Bruni’s not kissing Barak Obama on Friday was racist.  Shame on you, WOW. 

A classy gesture from a classy family. 

30 miles off the Keys, I saw a large, brown shark while scuba diving.  I was so terrified I didn’t even speak of it to my partner until we were back on the boat, going toward shore.

We don’t know the sentence yet.  He is in jail now awating the sentencing hearing. He could get up to 150 years, so it is most likely he will die in jail. Of course he deserves this, but he must also be forced to pay back with every cent he and his wife have, as well as anyone else they find was involved. 

Joy is funny; Whoppi is a bore; Elizabeth is a numbskull; Sherri is the token black.  Barbara is a total phony - she has likely climbed over many bodies on her way to the "top", which was a long time ago. 

Belinda, how can you say this?  I saw a poster I wish I could show you.  It was of a coffin, covered with flowers.  The caption said:  "He only sent her flowers once."