To Bewildered:  I had a husband who was obsessed with the gay thing.  It got so bad he couldn’t become arounsed without that scenario going through his mind and he talked about it during sex with me.  He nagged constantly for me to make this fantasy (which he claims to have lived out in another relationship) come true.  I honestly felt he was as far from the term "making love" to me as it is possible to get.  I felt that he was basically masturbating in me, as awful as that sounds.  It ruined the marriage completely.  I felt dehumanized and it destroyed any desire I ever had for him.  I still hate him for it.  We’ve been divorced several years. 

I agree with Margo on situation #1.  I came back from an out of town trip, to find my lover entangled with another woman he hooked up with just that weekend.  We all worked for the same company.  I told her I had no hard feelings toward her, just him.  Months later, I seduced him, just to see if I could.  It felt great knowing he was no more faithful to her than he had been to me.  I told him that and walked out! 

I became estranged from my sister over what was to happen to our mother, who had Alzheimer’s, after our father’s death.  Our parents had been having caregivers come to their home for years, and I saw no reason that couldn’t continue, but my sister was insistent on a substandard nursing home where she, and they lived.  I brought my mother home with me, to another state, and she lived with me, and caregivers in the day, for 4 months, until she died.  I do not think she knew me by then, but she was content and well cared for and only seemed unhappy when she understood, briefly, from time to time, that Dad was gone.  My sister and I have since reconciled.  I can tell you that 4 months was absolutely exhausting physically and emotionally.  I am glad I did what I did, and I thank God it lasted only 4 months.  I don’t know how I’d have survived 4 years.  I would never judge anyone else on this issue because I know how hard it is. 

For myself, my ideal would be to assist myself right out of this life, when I know I have had my last, best day.  That’s impossible to define.  For many people, the best they can do is have a living will.  Mine is brutally strightforward, basicaly, when I’m too sick to sit up and order from the menu, they can pull the plug!  I don’t know the answer for myself, much less anyone else.  I hope that I’ll die while I’m still mentally fit, still employed, still with lots of life insurance.  I’ve made peace with everyone I can.  I’ve looked up many people from my past and said hello to them and thanked many of them for their help to me.  I try not to leave dirty dishes in the sink or the house too much of a mess, because you never know when you might not wake up.  However, with my luck, I’ll probably live past being employed, past this house, etc.  How do you know when to go?  If you wait too long, you lose your options, and this decision is so big you can’t put it onto anyone else.  When, indeed, is the last, best day? 

 

I give up on you morons for today.

S.J. Morgan, the economy has been wrecked by deregulation of the banking system, allowing for bad lending practices, and letting Bush get us into a huge deficit with an ill conceived war. Read about what FDR did. Although our situation is unprecedented, creating jobs and getting the economoy going through several means, not just this bill, is the only thing we can do that makes any sense.

Thank God you weren’t referencing the stimulus bill!

I would love to live in San Francisco. Boy, that’s really punishing me! You are entitled to your opinion. I just wish it were based on facts.

It makes sense for generations to live together, especially when there is a special need. When I was a young, single mother, we lived with my parents for awile and I was able to finish my degree at night. I don’t know what I would have done without them. They formed a deep bond with my little girl (now 41), that lasted all their lives. My mom lived with me the last months of her life, after my dad died, and it kept her from having to go to a nursing home.I lived with my sister for 4 months while recovering from a car accident that prevented me from walking while my leg healed. Loving families need each other, and I am sure the Obama’s will benefit greatly from having Michelle’s mom there. There will be times when Michelle is not available to the girls and Grandma will be. It’s nice to see them all working together.

Susan B, maybe I am a romantic, but I think their romance is cool.

I wish all the cretins, morons, and old toenail clippings that comprise the Right would move to Alaska and stop posting.

Thank you, Marina B. I wasn’t sure how to respond to the genius.

I believe that Planned Parenthood’s goal is to help people plan for parenthood. They don’t want people to get pregnant unintentially. The are for birth control. If PP were as successful as they wish they were, abortions wouldn’t even be necessary. By no means does Planned Parenthood advocate abortion as a birth control method.

De Burca, that and some old toenail clippings.

FP, so true! They are certainly consistent, if nothing else.

Marjorie, For the millionth time, these are not earmarks. They are programs to create jobs. For example, building schools will give some people much needed jobs. We are in a depression, in case you hadn’t nobiced.