Dr. Klein may also be a proctologist which would explain where he usually has his head. My bad, but that’s a humor colunist for you. Always looking for next weeks material. Thank you sir, I can skate the next couple of weeks. Thanks to you ladies as well for being there to talk. It’s either your group or the shrink.

Mugsy, I understand your point of view but you sound like you’ve got a club house in a tree with a big scrawled sign NO BOYS. I don’t care if they come in, if they’re brave enough. They might have a point of view to contribute, don’t you think? I think it’s about time the female intellects came out of the powder room and took over, as they were designated to do in ancient history. Let’s not be peevish and exclusive.Besides, without them, who will move the furniture and take the trash out?

The shame of it all is no matter how you react, if you forgive, or if you confront. You will never trust him again. It’s nothing to do with money, Mr. Klein, it’s all about trust. While this sort of thing seems to roll right out of male minds, it affects women so much more. Everytime a movie comes out about infidelity, or some politician confesses his sins, or just about any episode of Dr. Phil, who is the most insincere man on television, you get punched in the gut again. Songs remind you, even television commercials remind you showing men yours never could be. I now believe if there were no expectations of fidelity, no hopes for growing old together or any of the romantic rot this society has foisted upon us, we’d all be better off. Marriage is just a legal contract and these contracts should have renewal dates, say every three years. If you want out, just sign on the dotted line. You’ll screw up your children either way, but at least there will be no more crushed expectations. Bitter? Yes, of course, and I’m still married to the same man. I don’t care what he does anymore. Go, stay, it’s all the same. Maybe it’s a good thing Mr. Klein reads these conversations, maybe he’ll learn how much everyone gets hurt.

First, I’d open a bank account with my own name. Then I’d start a journal and just observe his behavior. If he did it once, he’ll do it again. In a parallel action, the next day I would ask him about his underwear and jokingly ask, “What happened? Did her husband come home too soon?” Maybe there is a perfectly good explanation for his appearance but usually your instincts are correct. I was a Navy wife with three children living in Navy housing. When my spouse had an affair, I had nowhere to go. We were in California and housing costs were outrageous. If I left him I would have to leave housing in thirty days. I was trapped. So my recommendation is to plan ahead before you go ballistic because you’ll end up in a shelter and your pride won’t help your kids. My advice is to let it go but don’t forget it. Start planning for your own life as a single mother.

I write a weekly humor column for my local paper. For years now, I’ve been sending off 750 words to my editor and leaving my web site info at the bottom of every column. I have never heard a word from anyone who has read the column. But still I write on week after week. I won an award two years ago from the press association. But that wasn’t what I want. I would like a reader to actually say something or write to my web site. I never hear a word. Am I practicing faith because I have no proof anybody reads it? Or are they practising faith that I will keep writing even if they never say a thing? Am I God to them or more likely, are they God to me? I don’t know. I don’t know if there is a God or what religion to be or even to be anything at all. If I were to pray that a syndicate would pick up my column, would it help my chances? I doubt it. I don’t know how to have faith, or if there is a heaven. If there is one, I want to see all my pets again. If my firstborn went to heaven will she be the infant she was when she died or will she have grown? Will my mother be as mean as when she was alive or will she be the person I always hoped she’d be? All these silly questions for an all too human need. The only thing I know is that we have our beliefs because we need them to survive our reality. If there is a God, there would be no heaven or hell, just pure love and acceptance of all no matter what they have done in this life. Everybody starts over clean. Except of course, for those who have inflicted the curse of reality shows upon us. May they serve another lifetime on PBS just to learn what they’ve done wrong.

The biggest lie was the last general election when I actually believed my vote would count. All the exit polls said John Kerry was leading. Then the results came in. I guess no one else questioned the result because we’ve had our team of Cheney and his trained monkey. I’m sorry so many people have died for nothing. I voted in the primary and then learned that a super delegate would make a choice for me. To be honest, I’m disappointed in our system and how it can be manipulated. I, and many others have been Bushwhacked these past few years. To quote Paddy Chayefsky, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.Would anyone care to join me yelling out an internet window and telling the world? I don’t have a camera setup for my computer(because of a series of Bushwhackings at the pump) So I would like to see everyone posting a you tube video stating your mad as hell. Arlo Guthrie said if one person does it, they’ll think he’s nuts, and if two people do it, they’ll think they’re gay and if three people do it they’ll say there’s a conspiracy. But if everybody does it, it becomes a movement. That’s what this country needs, a damn movement because we’re not brain dead and they can’t tramp on our constitution and kill 4,000 of our country’s future for no reason. Is anyone else out there as mad as hell? You should show it.