Bella Mia, it turns out that there are two sets of posts for this- one under the poll, where you posted (at 8:37am!). I am moving my post over here, since this is where all the action seems to be. So, my two cents: Whatever she does, it should be honest. Taking an “if you can do it, so can I” approach is reflexive, not self-respecting. Whether she announces that she is meeting an old friend for dinner or not, she shouldn’t lie about it. So far, whatever the possible sub-texts, it is just a reunion. She could well get there and realize that this is not a romance novel- she might discover over dinner that Jonathan has been divorced twice for a reason, and whatever she does about Bart, Jonathan is not going to be part of it.

Whatever she does, it should be honest. Taking an “if you can do it, so can I” approach is reflexive, not self-respecting. Whether she announces that she is meeting an old friend for dinner or not, she shouldn’t lie about it. So far, whatever the possible sub-texts, it is just a reunion. She could well get there and realize that this is not a romance novel- she might discover over dinner that Jonathan has been divorced twice for a reason, and whatever she does about Bart, Jonathan is not going to be part of it.

In the mid-80’s the Sr VP of the big company in which I was working explained at an open meeting that the reason there were no women in higher than entry level positions in our division was that women had just started to come into the division, and as we worked our way “through the pipeline” sooner or later there would be women in more senior positions. Even though I was only a couple of years out of college I knew that was a preposterous claim, so when the (woman) VP of another division offered me a job in her division I jumped and never looked back. When the company was bought out 6 or 7 years later the other department still didn’t have any women above entry-level.

water buffalo, not american bison!

Delighted to hear that you enjoyed Ireland Jenny! I work at Trinity, and take visitors to the Library often, and still get a charge out of it. As for the houses, well, yes: basically there are 3 houses in Ireland, endlessly repeated. Funny thing is that people prefer it that way- when the odd maverick builds an individualistic house, they prove very hard to sell later. For a nation so chock-a-block with individuals (not to say eccentrics ;-)) it’s hard to figure.

We have had a charge for plastic bags for a couple of years now in Ireland, and it has been incredibly effective. You can buy a disposable one for €0.22 / $0.35, or a strong, reusable one for €1 / $1.55. Now you see the reusable ones everywhere! they have a square bottom, but fold flat, and turn out to be just the right size for…taking costumes for the school play to school / taking food to a pot-luck / clearing out all the junk the kids leave in the back of the car / carrying a stack of test papers for correcting home / etc. Best of all, the litter has gone way down- we used to have trees and curbs festooned with plastic bags, but now you don’t.

I sympathise with the feeling that we should ‘always’ take such care with our food (and self-nourishment), but actually disagree. Life benefits from contrasts: if we ate that way all the time, what would we do to celebrate, to mark really special moments. My colleagues are bemused that I have oatmeal every morning for breakfast (those who come in early see me make it in the staff room microwave), and wonder that I don’t get bored with it. My humble bowl of oatmeal suits me perfectly for work mornings. At home mornings are different- in one mood it’s cold pizza, in another popovers right out of the oven, in another fresh fruit with granola. But for special, in our family it’s Eggs Benedict. It is my brother’s best party trick, poaching up the eggs just right, getting the english muffins just crispy enough, making up enough silky-smooth lemony hollandaise for the whole gang…My humble bowl of oats, raisins and water and 3 minutes in the microwave can’t begin to compare, yet I cherish each in their own way, in their own time and place.

Central heating. I keep the house toasty when it’s cold and damp out, which is often here in Ireland. We do have good insulation, double-glazed windows, etc., but unlike my mother-in-law, who only heats selected rooms and then dashes through the arctic zones between them, we have lots of open spaces that are kept heated. If we could build our own house we would do it all- passive heat collection, geothermal, whatever- but instead we (like 95% of people in Ireland) live in a house that is essentially concrete breezeblocks glued together. Nice thick walls keep it cool when we have an occasional warm day, but are desperate for keeping the damp and cold out. So, we use the central heat a lot. At least it’s natural gas….

Things are not as bad as the ‘it was better when I was a girl’ posters would have it (nor as bad as the ‘child molesters are lurking in the bushes’ posters). Equally, you don’t have to be an all-singing, all baking, super ‘off-grid’ mother to have nice kids. Speaking as the mother of a 12 (soon to be 13) and 14 year old, there are plenty of kids out there who are comfortable with technology, but also read voraciously; who participate in activities- athletic, artistic, community service- and also veg in front of Kim Possible (and where was Kim Possible when I was a kid?!). Of course our childhoods look different than theirs- as ours did to our parents. My mother grew up during WWII; her mother in the Depression. They thought our generation was terminally spoiled, poorly educated (my father was appalled that our schools didn’t make us memorize the long, classic poems that he had; my mother complained that we knew little grammar and less history), and soft. Now I hear people who grew up in the 50’s complaining that ‘young people today’ are being ruined because their childhoods are different. No doubt, they are too sexualized too young. No doubt, too many kids are being shortchanged by parents who abdicate responsibility for raising their child, and allow electronics to take over (though parents have been accused of using TV as a babysitter for at least 30 years). But as both The Girl in the Mirror and The Good Teen note, there are probably no more kids who have serious problems in coming of age than there ever have been. And the upsides to a lot of the changes are amazing. Many people are afraid of the Big Bad Wolf in the Dark Forest of the internet, but it is also an amazing resource. There is a wealth of information and there are great communities for people with specialist interests. And behind the haze of nostalgia, let’s not forget that the 50’s and early 60’s were a time of widespread prejudices, and strict social codes. In a single generation, most of that has disappeared. A question for some of the older posters- is your nostalgia for the days of being bored perhaps coloured by the pressure of your daily life?