I agree with Frank Somsel NA is not good if you already quit. That is my opinion. Get in with a more positive group, not poor me, poor me a drink type people. Ask a person who helps others like wounded soldiers, volunteer at a hospital or soup kitchen.  In NA they reinforce that they are sick, stinking thinking. they say I am an addict every single day year in and year out. If it works for you then god bless. Others troll for drugs of newcomers to buy off of them. Some get right into a relationship which triggers a lot of feelings they are not ready to handle, and they relapse, get violent, and some have success and get married which some do last. i know a couple who have been married for fifteen years now but, they are the exception.

Many of them are newly diagnosed with HIV, some do not know yet and have sex and pass it on. I’ve seen it happen. They are dropping like flies in these meetings. They say they have low self esteem. They say they are no good. They tell them that all drugs are bad even if they need them for a number of real neurological reasons.

Once off drugs there is a lack of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, and send them into a depressive spin. I had a friend who would still be alive if he didn’t go to NA where they forced him through guilt, to get off methadone which he just started.  So he got off all the drugs and they all clapped and he struggled so hard, he was a suicidal mess, his girlfriend through him out so he went to live with father and was having a very hard time for his father was an alcoholic, but they said no, don’t go back on methadone.  His mother ran away, and his family didn’t know where she was, and then I heard he died of a heroin overdose, it hurt me so very bad, I cried and cried, and then his sister who I also tried to help also went to NA got off the methadone, and she died of a heroin overdose for she loved her brother so much. I saw it in the paper. She worked for David Lettermen eighteen years ago as the Girl on the street talking to people before the show. She had so much to live for. Another older friend who was  in the news, holding his teddy bear, was featured as a recovered addict. He got into a relationship and died by hanging himself a year later. He needed meds. It was a never ending thing, every other week people were dying because they could not cope with the lack of dopamine, and serotonin because that is what the drugs give you, so your brain can’t make it for months or years. It was never a choice of NA that they may have needed to stay on a program, or take medication for these neurological reasons. I recently learned that benadryl enhances all the other drugs like Oxycontin, Vicodin, Codeine, Xanex, Valium, and makes the respiratory system slow down that much more.

There is a new drug called suboxone which gets you off of all i mentioned without withdrawal and takes the urge away, and is not addictive but, they don’t tell anyone about it because the drug companies and the methadone clinics will lose money. Warning… you must take subetex first, and now all doctors can prescribe it. If you try to take it on your own without the subetex first for three days you will go into immediate withdrawal. So go to the doctor and ask for it. Read about it on-line. How do I know so much about these drugs is because I used to dispense medication to violent mentally ill drug addicts before one of them attacked me and i had flashes at night of the faces. I had to resign.

I said all this so maybe it will help someone reading here. 

You have my condolences, Lesley and Marcie. Please forgive yourself for you were being a good mother, and taking the best advice you could. 

My dream when I was a teen was to go to the school of art and design. My mother wanted me to go to Barbizon School for Modeling. I don’t think they had acting back then, but I wanted to be a soap star. So when she called Barbizon they said I was too young, you had to be sixteen at the time, i was fourteen.

So my mother found an agent for me to go to in Manhattan, but while in his office just him and I,  he said, "I can get you in but, I would want a Kiss from you." Even as a kid i knew what that meant so i just threw that idea out the window.  And i told my mother.

I continued drawing and had a great portfolio which was stolen while in high school but,  i still have some drawings. One drawing was a profile of Sharon Tate which i still have, she was so beautiful. I was very talented in high school and got 90’s in Art class. I took guitar lessons and played with friends on the beach. Later i became a teen mother. So I played for them, and myself.

My dream was for my children not to make the same mistakes I made a hippies did as hippies do.

My dream was for them to be successful. I took parenting classes and went to seminars to learn what not to say to them, and what to say to them. Example ( you did a bad thing, You are not bad kid, what you did was bad.) I was always aware of the words I used in making sure their self esteem stayed intact. Of course they did some experimenting, but not for long since my niece had a seizure from smoking pot one night. 

They are now in their thirties and are very successful adults.

My son became a stock broker at the early age of 19, and with those skills started his own business which is not in the stock market, and owns his home, rents one house, and sold one house. My daughter works for the best orthopedic company in Jersey where she made them an extra 30,000 last year in collections, got a promotion, and is a great mother.  My two grandchildren girl 11, boy 12 were excepted into their schools magazine as artist. I have been teaching them how to draw since they were very young. I told them I want them also to concentrate on writing for the magazine also. My daughter makes them read for an hour every sat. They are in their rooms by nine, lights out at ten. They have chores which they get paid for, and if they do not do them they are docked. It is their responsibility to mark on the calendar when they do the chore. 

Here is a Dream Come true in the Making!

My daughter looking to invest in a business got a liquor license, after my husband found a Tavern that was empty for a year, got it at a bargain price, I got the food handlers license just recently, and since my husband is a carpenter, and owns a small construction company is doing the work needed. Things are happening because they are decisions based on knowledge of the stock market, and seeing what is coming. People need to socialize, eat and drink. They don’t need siding and windows. Though he will still do that work.

I still paint and have videographies on all the myspace, facebook, blogs. My artwork can be seen on the internet if you google me. You’ll see my wall mural which was a selling point in the house. And I  blog on interesting and timely subjects, warnings on medicines.  I have some published essays, and I wrote a screenplay in 1996 which the things i wrote about are coming true now. Like it is based on going to get the chipping, which is the nano-implant they are actually doing for some people who want it. And then the earthquake which only my characters and those who are prepared are saved. It make it to the semi-finals twice in screenplay contests. Until i figured out they just wanted the money to enter it. I had it registered anyway.

One of my videos is with me, and my 8 yr. old granddaughter  interviewing me, and asks if I have any friends, and I say: in a silly voice "oh yes, hello whoopi"  and she turns to the camera and says "yeah, she stole my show! lol  

It is up to the Judge, and God. I would put an ankle bracelet on him so he cannot go anywhere for the rest of his life. Since he has been living it up all these years.

In those days, he was involved with the High Priest Anton LaVey who founded The Church of Satan in 1966 the day he declared God Dead. When Polanski made Rosemary’s Baby he used LaVey as the Devil, but his name was not in the credits, and, or he was angry that he made public secret rituals only satanist was supposed to know about.  Well they had a falling out to the worst degree. LaVey cursed him, and said he would pay ten fold. LaVey was also involved with the Manson girl Sadie (susan atkins) who was a topless dancer, putting her in a movie which she played a vampire with pictures showing her licking a bloody knife which later Susan Atkins admitted in court that she licked the bloody knife that killed poor pregnant Sharon Tate. The book I got that from is Sunrise Over Santa Susana, a mind blowing brand new book by Adam Gorightly which I am still reading. It is very disturbing and he names big stars also involved in the whole scene.

Back then it was usual for drugs and perverted sex parties were the norm. Our morals were not what they are now. We got better I think. Plus he did pay emotionally. Only i don’t know if he is still into the dark side of movies. Rosemary’s baby was the first of movies that delved into rituals and devil worship, and if you remember she had the devils child in that movie.

It is up to the Judge, and God. I would put an ankle bracelet on him so he cannot go anywhere for the rest of his life. Since he has been living it up all these years.

In those days, he was involved with the High Priest Anton LaVey who founded The Church of Satan in 1966 the day he declared God Dead. When Polanski made Rosemary’s Baby he used LaVey as the Devil, but his name was not in the credits, and, or he was angry that he made public secret rituals only satanist was supposed to know about.  Well they had a falling out to the worst degree. LaVey cursed him, and said he would pay ten fold. LaVey was also involved with the Manson girl Sadie (susan atkins) who was a topless dancer, putting her in a movie which she played a vampire with pictures showing her licking a bloody knife which later Susan Atkins admitted in court that she licked the bloody knife that killed poor pregnant Sharon Tate. The book I got that from is Sunrise Over Santa Susana, a mind blowing brand new book by Adam Gorightly which I am still reading. It is very disturbing and he names big stars also involved in the whole scene.

I think he should wear an ankle bracelet for back then it was usual for drugs and perverted sex parties were the norm. Our morals were not what they are now. We got better I think. Plus he did pay emotionally. Only i don’t know if he is still into the dark side of movies. Rosemary’s baby was the first of movies that delved into rituals and devil worship, and if you remember she had the devils child in that movie.

It is up to the Judge, and God. I would put an ankle bracelet on him so he cannot go anywhere for the rest of his life. Since he has been living it up all these years.

In those days, he was involved with the High Priest Anton LaVey who founded The Church of Satan in 1966 the day he declared God Dead. When Polanski made Rosemary’s Baby he used LaVey as the Devil, but his name was not in the credits, and, or he was angry that he made public secret rituals only satanist was supposed to know about.  Well they had a falling out to the worst degree. LaVey cursed him, and said he would pay ten fold. LaVey was also involved with the Manson girl Sadie (susan atkins) who was a topless dancer, putting her in a movie which she played a vampire with pictures showing her licking a bloody knife which later Susan Atkins admitted in court that she licked the bloody knife that killed poor pregnant Sharon Tate. The book I got that from is Sunrise Over Santa Susana, a mind blowing brand new book by Adam Gorightly which I am still reading. It is very disturbing and he names big stars also involved in the whole scene.

I think he should wear an ankle bracelet for back then it was usual for drugs and perverted sex parties were the norm. Our morals were not what they are now. We got better I think. Plus he did pay emotionally. Only i don’t know if he is still into the dark side of movies. Rosemary’s baby was the first of movies that delved into rituals and devil worship, and if you remember she had the devils child in that movie.

So sorry! Don Hewitt, the creator of CBS’s famous, long-running "60 Minutes," is in Sloan Kettering, felled by pancreatic cancer.  "60 minutes" has been my favorite show for many years, my father and I would sit and discuss the issues, the people, and things that were really important like people. My father would have loved the interactions here on these postings.

If Bush allowed us to go ahead with the stem cell research to go ahead maybe we would have a cure by now. My sister in-law age 56 also struck with this cancer as I wrote about last night here on my prior post about how i was caring for her, is now back in Sloan Kettering. May he have a loving caring worker or family member to care for him like I am to those in the most need in their home. I helped my mother, father, and now my ex-sister-in-law when she comes back home I will be there for her, and her family.It is one of the hardest things in life to see them ill. 

LAST NIGHT i wrote this. 

 And how is that money going to help dogs, maybe luxury hotels for them which would be fine by me because i di love dogs.  She can employ people to help dogs but she hated people, so who will take care of her dogs? Dogs? No but I took no money for my family member even though she was my ex-sister-in-law for  23 years! 

I said look at those legs…come on let us get those playboy photogs in here and take some shots …she got a laugh out of that. A beautiful woman will be gone, and a man who gave so much to us all, and myself I sit alone, unemployed, and with a man , ex, i hate. I am getting ready to run somewhere, or just live in my car.   But this is not about me, sorry for those who are suffering.