Belinda,

Your Jewish friend will tell you that it is said that if you have 2 Jews you have 3 opinions. What a Jewish man told you whatever he understands is evidence of the wide divergence in opinion among us. What I stated was about Jewish Law, not opinion, according to one’s comfort level. Much is diluted in Judaism right now in the US, and what we share with those who are not Jewish is selective. I grew up in a religious & literate Jewish home, and I am aware of  diversity in opinion, for our culture thrives on it. Please note Yiddish is my mother tongue, and I learned Englsh in public school.

One of the pleasures of being a Jew is that we can contradict each other, and do often, and we are not insulted or upset by differences in opinion.  As for millions. to a Jew that is a terrific number, since 6 million were lost, and we now replace them with progeny. We are not at war with each other. All i noted were distinctions in the use of  "Shonda" with which I am familiar, and prohibitions. Shonda and Prohibition are not synonyms.

Also, for observant (religious) Jews, there is little flexibility in prohibitions, which does not mean that we are all observant. And, in modern times, Jews in America can use a "Chinese" menu in selecting what they observe and what they disregard. However, in my parents’ home and European culture, there were few choices and more troubles with with powerful anti-Semitic communities, so escaping and migrating to America was a wonderful opportunity to live as we wish.

 As a Jew, I am never won over by consensus, because it reminds me of pogroms—-when everyone, includng the Czar and his cohorts agreed to annihilae us, and the Nazis almost did. 

Belinda,

Your Jewish colleague  will also tell you that if there are 2 Jews, there are 3 opinions. Also, what he told you about "shonda" is his opinion. However, I do disagree, because Yiddish is my mother tongue, and I grew up in a religious home and learned English in public school. In my response to you I distingushed between prohibition and shonda (shame). Actually, because Jews are argumentative and I do not mean picking fights, but disputacious, we disagree about many things, and we are not insulted by differences in opinions. I was also distinguishing beteen Jewis Law and preferences. Fortunately, especially iin modern times in the US, we can select how we practice religion, often diluting many rituals and laws to make it easy to be part of mainstream society.

I am also happy to learn that there are millions of Jews here, since Hitler killed 6 million, and that we have replaced them with our progeny. As for consensus, as the daughter of European immigrants who escaped from pogroms, I am leery of total agreement. We have a saying: "When the Czar sneezed, pogroms ensued" which meant that government and anti-Semites agreed to destroy our communities. So, writing that millions don’t agree with me is not as significant as understanding the difference between custom and law, which was my point.

My statements wee not to discredit you or anyone else. In addition, Jews may select what they share with non-Jews, because it is always complicated for us to explain what we do and how we live.  

Please let Jews speak about Judaism. "Shonda" is reserved for other matters. Desecration of the body is a prohibition & means that she cannot be buried in consecrated ground (a Jewish cemetery), but that is her choice. Jews do not have to be buried near their parents; it’s virtully impossible these days. If you’ve noticed in photos of terrorist attacks in Israel, there are orange-clad teams collecting body parts, so that the bodies can be be intact, as much as possible for immediate burial.

 It helps us understand the awfulness of Nazis’ tattooing identification numbers on prisoners’ arms, but survivors are buried in Jewish cemeteries, of course——-except in the camps. 

There is no excommunication for Jews except for conversion or baptism in another religion which indicates that we have wide lattitude, but we also must be informed about the Laws and if we break them there may/will be consequences.

The daughter seems to be suffering from "Jewish guilt," a euphemism shared by many, not only Jews, so if she wants to tell her mother, she knows she will face the consequences of the verbal kind. Or she may choose to remain silent and if ever her mother learns about the tattoos, again, there will be consequences.

 Many young people, and no so young people, are having tattoos, and many of them are now facing the laser to remove them. The daughter claimed she got her tattoo out of fear; well, now it’s  a badge of valor, but she will have to accept whatever follows. Growing up means being sensitive to others and that there are consequences for our actions.

In my part of town, Greenwich Village, there are many fully covered tattoo people, so in the future they will have to cover their bodies, or they will have to remain out of the mainstream, or they could move to another culture which values such ornaments. Choices, choices, choices. 

I

Weddings are wrought with stress and conflicts, and wedding arrangements are made by the bride & groom, I hope, so give up all those grievances and enjoy the occasion. We cannot impose our wishes on others. I’m a mother-in-law, and it is my philosophy and obligation. I would not like anyone to intrude on my decisions, as well.

It has nothing to do with children present at a wedding; it has to do with the wishes of the bride, not the guests. Starting a family feud on the basis of this matter is wasteful and unkind; retaliation is awful and selfish. No one owes us anything, and a bride can follow any rule she wishes. 

 As for the childcare monster, report her immediately. Parents give their trust to such a person, and there are no miracles in character change, and no history of caring for another human being. She is misleading her clients and breaking the law. No way should she be permitted to take care of other peoples’ children. No negotiations or the will to believe she’s become a saint. It’s a delusion to believe that this woman prepared for this responsible position (you do have to know how to run a child care center), and we have a responsibility to those children under her care. 

It appears that when she she applied for a license no one checked her background, but whatever the reason, she must be removed—-when children are involved, do what is necessary to protect them. 

Sorry! We just had a lad for 8 years "lead" our nation (with the persistent help of an ambitious V.P.) and that president had a college degree! 

So, can you tell us what the former president and the screechy Sarah learned in college? Can you find any evidence of intellectual ability? I’m not mentioning being able to write and speak coherently and rationally. Wouldn’t dare, because I’d be kidding.

As for Margo’s ability and intelligence, she doesn’t have to prove herself, because she’s done it already. 

There’s no irony in the comparison. A college degree does not confer intelligence and learning. A rich dad is all you need—in one case, and in the other  moving from college to college amassing credits until she had the correct number  to receive a diploma, and ended  up  being a brainless chatterbox whose only solution to complex problems is "common sense" which indicates a vacuum in brainpower; no knowledge & no expertise. Frankly, her response on interviews bodes well for Palin’s future as a comedian. She can have her own comedy show, opinionated, ignorant, and full of bluster. CNN recently disposed of one such commentator. Too bad, Sarah is too busy signing her books; she & he could work together propagating all that airy stuff!

Julia,

 Well said. I won’t even reply to that geezer’s nonsense. Capable women don’t have to patronize those who get by on brainlessness. And, who is this  outdated cowboy? He doesn’t even know he’s an anachronism. He preserved the ilusion that because he’s a guy and admires Peevish Palin, we’re jealous. 

Thank you for your forthright reply. I hope he gets the hiccups after reading it a second time.

Don’t patronize girls/women, and get off your horse. You’re not here to mediate or give us advice. I’m old enough to remember Roosevelt’s campaign, and interviewed Eleanor Roosevelt, so your macho approach doesn’t work! Write something constructive, even witty, but don’t preach. We’ve had enuff of that blarney for centuries!

Pick another idol/icon! You’re way behind the times! 

Sorry,

I had a problem with my keyboard. It stuck, somehow, and I finally figured out how to loosen the keys. 

Margo:

What is done in the name of love! Who cares whether Palin loves country; she is reckless, ignorant, manipulative, and brainless. The news about her education is not tht she attended 5 colleges; the news is that she learned nothing. I’m not sure that she knew where Iraq was until she was "called to duty" on McCain’s campaign.

 Who wants "the girl arund the corner" as a government representative? Is someone kidding? Keep up the adulation and Palin will take it seriously that she is ready to lead—-where?

Again, "what’s love got to do with it?

Groupies of the Palin track: Beware of whom yuo trust and listen closely to what she says! 

SARAH PALIN IS NOT UNIQUE; SHE IS AN IGNORANT, BARELY EDUCATED, SELF-ABSORBED CREATURE USING HER (HALF) WIT & HER VIEW OF  POLITICS AND HER GOOD LOOKS  TO GAIN  MUCH ATTENTION BECAUSE THAT’S ALL SHE REQUIRES. SHE HAS NO SENSE OF HISTORY, AWARENESS OF THE PROBLEMS WE FACE, AND SHE IS REPRESENTATIVE OF KNOW-NOTHING MEANDERINGS. HER MIND IS A FIELD OF MENACE AND GUILE. 

THE ONLY THING UNIQUE ABOUT HER IS THAT SHE WAS "CHOSEN" BY JOHN MCCAIN TO DIVERT ATTENTION FROM HIS BADLY ORGANIZED CAMPAIGN, SO THAT WHEN HE COULDN’T REMEMBER OR PERSUADE, THIS GAL APPEARED SCREECHING ALL THE WAY TO THE TIP OF RUSSIA FOR ATTENTION.

THE CONCEPT OF FREE SPEECH IS NOT TO GIVE HER AMPLE OPPORTUNITIES TO SLING INACCURATE ATTACKS AT THOSE WHO HAD TO COPE WITH HER APPALLING IGNORANCE; HAS SHE EVER DEMONSTRATED ANY UNDERSTANDING OF ANY ISSUE BEFORE US? HER USE OF FREE SPEECH (WELL PAID, I’M SURE BY  A HUGE ADVANCE FOR THIS PRINTED TIRADE) IS TO CONTINUE RANTING AND REPEATING HER PETTY GRIEVANCES.

THOSE WHO DEFEND HER NEED SOMEONE TO WORSHIP, AND THE MORE STUPID THE IDOL IS, THE MORE AMUSING. AND, OF COURSE, PALIN IS REAPING LOTS OF MONEY FOR THE EFFORTS OF A  GHOSTWRITER WHO HAD TO PUT TOGETHER RANDOM AND SCRAMBLED WORDS OF VENOM—BASED ON ALL THIS ATTENTION, PALIN NOW HAS A NEW CAREER.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF PALIN REPRESENTED OUR COUNTRY RIGHT NOW? NOW, THAT’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, EH! 

BRAVO!

Tonight I decided to catch up, and discovered your response—-which is what I’d write. Of course, education, which no one else mentioned, even in passing. How about that!

Excellent response. It seems that adult parents, especially mothers, are the boogie people of this generation! And, from some comments disposable witches for their awesome daughters!

The single mother who devoted her adult life to caring for her child is now on her own to reinvent a life, which many of us have to do when the movie stars of our family depart for greener pastures, often paid for by their elders. Compassion, calls, kind words, civility, inclusion  help. Therapy & medication seem to be the "quick fix" recommendation  for those who can’t take the responsibility of treating a loved one  with care and interest—for life—not only for post-adolescence.

 Yes, the mother complains and moans and groans; so what? We are not saints, only humans, often at a loss how to cope with the world and people around us. Mothers, too, are puzzled and daunted by change. Let’s not patronize or belittle this mother’s achievement, and let’s focus on some positive traits she possesses. Treat her as an adult who is now facing her own demons, as she did help her adorable little girl do the same a long time ago.

We all have different coping skills when get on  with the social world. Nowadays, daughters reogranize their addressbooks to exclude an important family member, because "the going" is getting tougher. How about thanks,  dinner, and some loving appreciation!

As for the gal who loves a Mormon gay man; very complicated. However, in Jewish law, and that is not mutable, a child is Jewish because of the mother. Nowadays, there is a slippery slope when it comes to old time religion. The child of a Jewish man and a non-Jewish mother is not considered Jewish except by Jews who really don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s not opinion, folks, it’s law.

As for signing on in a marriage of convenience, as the term use to be. she’s in for heartache and suffering. She sounds scared of sexual attachment; friendship may be one of the ingredients to establish a marriage. It can’t be the only one. It’s not only a matter of sex, and sexual fulfillment. It’s not that simple. But, no one, stepfather or priest or missionary can decide for this inexperienced young woman. We make our our errors in judgment. I wish her luck, but know it will not be the answer for her though she thinks it will be.