L#2

Dear Happily Inked -

I’ve read that the edict against people of the Jewish faith being tattood is a myth and not based on scriptural doctrine.  Do some research and make up your mind for yourself.  Here’s an article for starters:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/17/fashion/17SKIN.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&…

If your tattoos are normally out of view, there is no chance Mom will see them and they’d cause your mother a great deal of pain or grief maybe you should just not share them with her. 

L#1

Dear SQ -

Based on your description of Herman as someone who particularly dislikes you, has completely cut off contact with his son and his son’s children but not his adult daughter, as well as being a negative, toxic individual whom I don’t trust, given his manipulative and abusive behavior - I think he sounds deranged and have to wonder why in the world you’d even consider reinroducing your FIL into your children’s lives.  You mention foreseeing regret when he "kicks the bucket"and I can’t help but wonder if you are more concerned with the what effect the estrangement may have on any inheritance your husband recives from his father than how your husband and children will have missed the non-relationship.

This is your husband’s father and your husband is very much alive.  IfYou’d be wise to leave the decision of whethter or not to reunite up to your husband.

"How does one surrender and submit myself to a cold e-book."

…darn it - guess the edit feature is never coming.

SD - my dear SIL approved the other children to attend well in advance of the event.  Just to put it out there my little ones are really well behaved (as are my husband and I) we’d never have let them ruin the event. 

Mikey - life can be such a PITA I don’t know why family members have to pile on unnecessarily.  Family should be the easy part - it could be simply joyous.

L#2

Dear Fixated,

This is not your wedding.  You don’t get to run it.  The bride will soon be part of your family - do your best to be patient, kind and loving toward her.

Do yourself a whopping favor and stop envisioning what the right choices are for the bride and groom.  Appreciate the fact that you and your children are not part of the wedding party - now you’ll be able to enjoy yourself unless of course you have a driving need to be the center of attention - which you would not be in any case because the bride gets to be queen for the day.  If you stay on your best behavior during the pre-wedding period reward yourself by going out and picking out some fantastic wedding day outfits for your beautiful little family and make an appointment to have some professional photos taken sometime before the wedding day of your beautiful little family.  

L#1

Dear D in Ohio,

Having completed her sentence for a conviction for stolen checks - I really don’t know if that would prevent one from obtaining a license to operate a daycare center.  It depends on her state’s requirements. 

Look up the .gov site for the state she is running the daycare - you can easily track down the correct agency for more information online.  You should ask that whomever you contact protect your privacy and not reveal your name to the person you are reporting.  Tread carefully but do what is right - the state may well find she is simply "babysitting" and leave you looking like a meddler. 

L#2

Dear LF&W,

If after 11 years you can honestly say " I know I love him and that he’s devoted to me."  I’d say he’s a keeper.  

Wishing you clarity,  E

L#1

Dear Running,

If this woman doesn’t change her stripes she may well clip the wings of that social butterfly.  Shame on her.  Be a true friend by staying above the fray and don’t gossip about his fiance.  Make an excuse as Margo suggested and miss the party.  Send a sweet little birthday gift directly to him and make no mention of the party.  If he ever asks for your honest opinion about the fiance give it to him.

Wishing you patience,  E

The mind can take you on so many paths and you never know what will spark an interesting idea. 

I use the same system and it can be frustrating.  For some time now I’ve longed for a sort of sleek little binder with a strap so that I can either carry it in my purse or wear it but always, always have it handy.  I’d use just a few dividers to categorize and organize the ideas.  This way all (well most) of my notes would be in one place and I’d be better able to protect and  further develope them. 

"Fox News.  Effectively spooning Fair & Balanced Horse Shit down their throats since 1996."

L#2

Dear Trying,

Whatever your co-worker’s issues are you all should not allow yourselves to be manipulated into breaking the law or risking injury just to avoid being unkind to her.  She’s an adult but is acting selfish, immature, irresponsible and unkind on this point. Actually she sounds very manipulative.  A seat belt not only protects the wearer from injury but it protects all the other riders from injury by an unbelted person who can become like a missile in a collision.  I did a cursory check for portable automotive seat belt extenders but all I could find were ones that need some amount of installation.  Whatever the approach she needs to know that un-belted passengers are not allowed to ride in your car.  I’d say that you should speak only for yourself and not for the group.  Let the others handle their own business or you will risk touching a nerve.

Wishing you well,  E