My mother died at 58 so I am not sure about our looks. I was only 22 at the time and can remember thinking that she looked old. But now that I am 62 I realize just how young she was - and how young she looked. She was always thought younger than she was and took great pride in that so I don’t know if she would have enjoyed getting older. I have always been thought younger than I am and rather enjoy being old enough that when they say I don’t look a day over 50 I dont really care.

Bonnie - the twins are constantly amaze me. They drive me to tears and make me laugh daily. They start Early Head Start school next week and I am sure looking forward to going to the bathroom by myself LOL. My daughter has gone on to other things but this sure gave her an attitude, now she pretty much wants to know up front how far she can go before she takes a job. Just made her a tougher broad, which in my book is o.k. I couldn’t sell water to a dying man. I agree about the commission part - my daughter’s commissions were always vastly more than her salary and when she started to live off her commissions it scared me. I have even thought that women that sell Avon were amazing. Remember when they use to knock on your door when you moved into a new neighborhood? I think that we are starting to excell in all levels of business and industry - but damn it makes me mad that it is taking so long. My mother fought the good fight, I fought the good fight after my divorce, I just hate to see my daughters in their forties still having to fight for the right to be good at anything.

Bonnie - Years ago one of my daughters was in sales (truck accessories). She was the top sales person, flown from Portland, Oregon to Calif. to attend demos for certain labels. Top management in industry knew her by first name - they knew she was the best at selling their product. When her company opened up a new store in Beaverton she thought for sure they would give it to her. There wasn’t anything about the business that she didn’t know. The company hired a man from out of state that had never worked for them. Told her that they couldn’t afford to take her off the floor. She called bullsh— and quit. She heard from her co-workers that they just didn’t feel comfortable putting a women in that position because some men did not want a woman helping them with their trucks. She got calls from some of the labels that she sold for and they offered to put her in her own store but she was so crushed by the experience she just wanted out of this type of business. Being top in sales isn’t always all it takes.

Whoopi said something on The View that made me go looking in my kitchen. I thought I bought pretty healthy stuff - but yipes. Everything has corn syrup in it. Even rice pilaf!!! Have had to rethink my kitchen - guess if you don’t make it from scratch you have to deal with crap. I have noticed (being on a very tight budget right now) that it is very hard to eat healthy. I paid seventy nine cents for ONE apple and got to thinking. If I had to feed a large family - would I buy an apple or a box of hamburger helper? Seems that now that healthy food has caught on the price has skyrocketed. And wasn’t it Regan that said that ketsup counted as a vegetable in our schools? They have had to fight to get vending machines out of our schools because the schools need the money. There are even schools that have McDonalds in the lunch rooms. Who in the think tanks thought that getting rid of physical education and putting in pepsi vending machines would be doing our kids a service? We aren’t very good role models for the kids that will not live as long as we have because of their diet.

I had a friend once that worked out of town. He put a shotgun in our closet and explained to me that it didn’t even have to be loaded. If anyone came into the house just the sound of cocking it would make them leave. I don’t like guns and made him remove it, but thought it was funny that the sound of cocking a shotgun would make a difference. He was probably right - I like this gal’s decision not to be a victim after the neighborhood burglers.

We have always had strong women to lead us. That is how we have gotten the rights that we have this far. I was shocked when I started college in 2002 to listen to young women talk. “If my career doesn’t pan out I can always get married and have a kid.” And this wasn’t just a few isolated discussions. Many of them think women have taken this ‘women’s lib’ thing too far. Sometimes I wanted to bang my head on the wall. I was starting to think we were going backwards. I truely believe there are too many women out there willing to take a backseat to men, or even stronger women, because it is not — polite — to act assertive. I know that I had to fight that feeling when I first started working. It didn’t take long to discover that if I wasn’t assertive I was wasting my time. And this may cause a lot of flack - but I only got the strength and wisdom to feel this way when I was on my own. Now I have a problem having relationships because I am tooooooo independent. Men my age don’t like a woman who doesn’t NEED them. It will probably be another century before things work out that women are allowed to KNOW they are just as qualified and still be loved. This whole thing just makes me crazy - what did we fight for back in the 60’s and 70’s? We still can’t get ERA passed!

Philip - a quiet voice in the storm - lol. I totally agree with you. I have met a few “older” gentlemen with ponytails and I can tell you that they were the type that didn’t bore me to death. They were not going to go silently into the night. Never dated one - but have had good conversations and a few friendships developed just because of that attitude. It really isn’t any different than those 65yr old women with jet black hair, ruby red lips (that bleed into the little lines), and enough perfume on the choke a bus. I kind of envy that “here I am” attitude. Wish I had more of it.

Chari - is that the same alum that we use in the kitchen?

Jane CM - It can be depressing. When I first got it in my late 30’s I was very depressed because I tan very easily and my face looked like a checker board. I did the whole routine of making my face totally white and then putting foundation on. I was lucky that it only took a few years for my face to go completely white, because as we all know - as you age make up just makes you look older. I tried to keep the sun off my arms and hands but it just got to be too much trouble to always remember gloves and long sleeves in the summer can be uncomfortable. My hands really show it and the only time I think about it is when clerks put my change on the counter instead of handing it to me. I know it is because my hands look like I have some kind of creepy crud and I don’t blame them, but it does remind me that it looks awful. How old is your friend? It seems to affect younger people the hardest. My oldest daughter - 42 yr - has had it since she was a teenager and grew to use it as a badge of difference. She tans very dark, which makes it very noticable - and puts her at greater risk for skin cancer - but loves to tell people that are brave enough to ask. She is a beautiful woman and thinks this makes her stand out from all the rest of the ordinary beautiful women - lol. There really isn’t anything you can do besides stay out of the sun. There are a lot of products out there but most are bogus. Actually had a doctor ask me what it was once, never went back to that idiot. Maybe we should get your friend and my daughter to talk - they might have some humorous stories to tell each other.

Lorraine - LMAO I use to envy you big breasted beautys - but when I see my older sister rolling them up to tuck them in, I just laugh and run around braless. You are a hoot!!

I know the feeling that you had at your mother’s first passing. That you were completely on your own. Isn’t it wonder to discover that we aren’t really - they are always with us. Best wishes to your family.

After rereading this I thought I better try to explain it - If you are the best at something, whether you do it because of love or money, doesn’t really change the fact that you are the best. Don’t really know where the slut and whore came from - guess I am just in a nasty mood - lol.

Back in the 70’s my daughter’s gym coach came to our house and told us she had a chance at the Olympics BUT it would take everyone in the family to sacrifice, because we would have to hire a private coach, travel to competitions, etc. and she would never get a sponsor until years of winning. With a ass for a father and three other kids in the family there was no way she would have her chance. In gymnastics you have to get the training while you are young - so determination alone is not enough. I think it has haunted her all her life - the ‘what if’. I felt there was something terribly wrong with our country back then that made our children compete with countries that paid to support their talented children. Wonder how many Phelps are out there that will never even come close because of financing? But my answer to the question is - - yes. If you are the best, you are the best, the end.

Whoopi - it sounds a little like the difference between a slut and a whore. If you do it because you love it you are a slut - if you take money for it you are a whore. Never made sense to me either!

JMK - will try this tonite. Find new uses for olive oil all the time. No wonder Sophia is such a beauty.