Judith Martin

• Boredom, non-specific guilt and envy. They were forbidden me as a child, and I found I could get along quite well without them.

• Daniela Ghezzo at Segalin a Venezia

• Home cooking by my husband, especially the caviar blini with which he courted me.

• That awful Mr. Wagner’s "Ring Cycle" (although I am ashamed to admit it).

• The house I do live in, but with a less crowded attic

• Any company that I must deal with (telephone, airline, electrical power) so that I could insist upon decent customer service.

• Singing the great soprano roles in the major opera houses to grateful audiences who would then unhitch the horses from my carriage and pull it through the streets. (If only I could carry a tune.)

• Bert Lahr in “Waiting for Godot”
• "A Midsummer Night’s Dream"
• Andre Gregory directing in "Vanya on 42nd Street"

• Try to remember the amazing idea that I had during the night

• The offices of our government, if not always the office-holders.

• The Master
• His, Mrs. Wharton
• Her acquaintance, Mr. Proust
• Mr. Trollope
• Ms. Eliot
• Miss Austen (although I never, not even in her absence, refer to her as Jane)
• And that odd M. Beyle, who insists on calling himself Stendhal

Things that apparently nobody else wants, so they are no longer made, including:

• Gray ink cartridges
• Jicky Bath Oil
• Jesurum Handkerchieves
• Filofax inserts

• Asparagus holders
• Strawberry forks
• Salad knives
• Fish forks and knives
• Berry spoons
• Corn forks
• Lobster picks
• Orange knives and spoons
• Ice cream spoons
• Fruit knives and forks
• Sandwich tongs
• Click here for all

• Fountain pens
• Glass pens
• Thick, engraved writing paper

• The ability to memorize Italian, French and Spanish verbs so as to produce the right tense at the right time.

• I still won’t shorten my skirts.

• For any ailment whatsoever: going to Venice, Italy

• United Feature Syndicate
• Microsoft Network
• W.W. Norton & Company